firststeps Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 It all becomes clear! l have been living in a fog!! This NC period is giving me clarity. Just prior to it, its been rejection, mind games and waffling, l want you, and now l don't. Tonight, l had friends close to the situation give me an outside looking in view on my STBXH's affair and relationship with OW that he left me for. l have been in such a state of denial, and focusing on all the good times. My heads been in the sand. This time apart from all contact with him has opened my eyes, to what he really is like. His selfish, cold, and attempts to reconcile with me when he is "desperate" because he had a fight with the OW. l was also desperate for him to come back. l made myself available as his back up plan. l feel more alive today for the first time since he walked up and left when l caught on to the affair. l have to continue with NC, its a very critical lesson. Without it, l will go back to day one. l wont go there, l cannot! lm posting this to tell others that are in a similar situation that you will not move ahead with out implementing boundaries and NC is to take care of yourself so you can see your situation for what it truly is. NC, is to regain your self respect, and understand that its their affair, and their mess. The betrayal, lies, and deceit, all hurt like hell and l know this is going to be an emotional battle. My STBXH may have walked out on our 20 year relationship but l refuse to allow him to bring me down, l will not be a victim for one second. I'm in the drivers seat now!! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
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