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H and a good friend....


beyondsad

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Just found out that my H was flirting and touching with a good friend. This so called friend bragged to a mutual friend about my H and made numerous friends uncomfortable with their touching and flirting openly when I was not around. This happened two years ago and its just now getting to me. The good friend has gotten married but still comes around.

 

My husband was caught cheating 5yrs ago and part of the R was ANY form of cheating ever and our 18 yr M is over. I am not sure how far it went but it was sneaky and behind my back. So hurt and feel crushed...once a cheater ... Is it time for a divorce or do I confront and wait for all the lies .. Happy fricking holidays...

 

I had those gut feelings about them but of course H reinforced that I was just being insecure and nothing was going on. I trusted them and assumed the best but there is no way to go back once I put everything together. This so called good friend and H talked recently about it being found out because of loose lips. She told our mutual friend that sh would just deny it if it ever came out. what to do

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whatatangledweb

I am so sorry. Yes, he was cheating. Flirting and touching...that is wrong. Flirting can be harmless but it never is okay after being caught cheating. Why would they still be talking about it after all this time if it was harmless. Also what would she have to deny? He will continue to lie about it as you told him you would divorce him if he did it again. You have to decide what you want. I told my husband the same thing. If he did do it again I would divorce him. It would break my heart but I would do it for me.

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2 years ago is a long time... are you sure you want to re-hash the old argument? What if it was only flirting? What if this 2 year old second hand story isn't accurate?

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Because your husband cheated 5 years ago & even though you just found out about some flirting from 2 years ago, you are clearly upset. When you calm down, you should talk to him.

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How would he feel if you were "flirting and touching"?

 

Ask him about that. Would he still be around? Did you and he go to counseling 5 years ago?

 

What has he done to help you get over his cheating 5 years ago?

 

Was he transparent?

 

Did he give you his passwords to his cell and his computer? Did he try to make you feel special?

 

If he did not do anything, why are you still there? kids?

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Mickey_Fitzpatrick
Just found out that my H was flirting and touching with a good friend. This so called friend bragged to a mutual friend about my H and made numerous friends uncomfortable with their touching and flirting openly when I was not around. This happened two years ago and its just now getting to me. The good friend has gotten married but still comes around.

 

My husband was caught cheating 5yrs ago and part of the R was ANY form of cheating ever and our 18 yr M is over. I am not sure how far it went but it was sneaky and behind my back. So hurt and feel crushed...once a cheater ... Is it time for a divorce or do I confront and wait for all the lies .. Happy fricking holidays...

 

I had those gut feelings about them but of course H reinforced that I was just being insecure and nothing was going on. I trusted them and assumed the best but there is no way to go back once I put everything together. This so called good friend and H talked recently about it being found out because of loose lips. She told our mutual friend that sh would just deny it if it ever came out. what to do

 

 

 

I would confront and wait for all the lies. Bring it all out into the open and let the chips fall where they may.

 

 

Is the mutual friend going to back you up, or do they want to be left out of it?

 

 

I looked back at your old threads and it didn't seem your husband ever was that remorseful. Did you feel he eventually came around, or has there always been a nagging doubt?

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I believe forgiveness is possible, once. But if they can see what it does to their partner and do it again, forget it. He didn't learn anything.

 

If you want, spend some time investigating (phone, emails, texts, financials, social media, etc) to make sure you're not being paranoid but to be honest, flirting, touching and plans to deny it all sound like wayward behavior to me (especially after being busted before). I suggest cutting your losses.

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painfullyobvious

How did this come out in conversation? I think your good friend either liked it or went farther than you think. Why would a person recollect on such an instance much later?

 

So your "friend" has since married; confront her and if you feel any weird vibes from her like she is not telling the truth tell her maybe her husband has noticed something and perhaps you will ask him. Push this as far as you want but ask yourself if this incident is worth losing a friend and your time reconciled?

 

I would try and get answers if the relationship went into sex but if that did not happen let it go. This friend should not be around your husband at all or perhaps you need one less friend.

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