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peaksandvalleys

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peaksandvalleys

So I am counting down the days to d-day. I have continued toread here and some topics that have been posted here and in the OW/OM forumhave aided me in what I need to discuss with my lawyer

 

First I would like to thank those who talked about havingsex with the WS and how it could put my case in jeopardy and my lawyer agreesespecially after they have been informed that they have been busted. Though Iwould never expose myself knowingly to STD’s this leads me to the results of mytests. I will be getting further testing as it appears the HPV virus ispresent. Thank you so much my loving spouse for that gift :sick:

 

Secondly I followed all my lawyers’ advice on every step Ihave taken. No it is not illegal to have my spouse followed as long as the PIdoes not interact or make themselves known. No it is not illegal for me to getthe phone records to a phone that is in my name. No it is not illegal for me tomy home computer that is used by all with no responsible expectation of privacyas it is not a personal computer. It is also not illegal for me to give theinformation to the OW’s husband. I do have his name, address, place of work andeven the gym that he goes to everyday.

 

Thirdly, I have got all the paperwork in place to sell ourbusiness as I am the majority owner. I will give him the option of buying meout (he won’t because he not only doesn’t have that amount of cash, his creditis shot so I am the one who put up the collateral for the loan) since my dadgave me the great advice of making sure this was business and business onlywhen we started the business. I never wanted the business but I wanted him tobe happy and to live his dream so I went along with it. With hard work andcapital from me, the business hasn’t done too badly. He works hard at it toothat’s why I am willing to sell it to him at a profit of course. But I do nothave to sell it to him a majority partner. Thank you daddy for your insight andfuture planning. I do have a dilemma though. I need input on the scenario to expose.I have two in mind.

 

#1- I can get tickets to one of his favorite football teams(he is a college fanatic). After the game there will be a romantic nightplanned for dear sweet hubby. I mean the candle light dinner, his favoritemusic, food and wine. I will have the divorce papers, business papers andcontract for the sale of the house all wrapped in a neat little bow.

 

[2- I am thinking of leaving town for business or somethingand then have him served while he is with her. Yes I know for sure he will bewith her when I leave it has happened several times before and then have arealtor show up with a for sale sign. I have already rented an apartment andmoved some of my things into storage. He thinks I am having the house paintedand do not want the painters to break anything.

Your thoughts? Anyother suggestions?

 

She will also be served because yes I do live in one ofthose states. I don’t necessarily want anything monetary. I just want her nameto be a matter of public record and why it is a matter of public record. Yes,my lawyer has advised against this. I declined to accept that piece of adviceas long as it is legal I will be going forward with that. Her husband will begetting a packet of information and pictures along with where he can reach meif he chooses. I will suggest he check their finances because of some thingsthat the investigator discovered. He really should have an audit, physical andpaternity test on his youngest.

 

I am sure she and my wonderful husband will bounce back to bebetter than ever. He will be free to be with her 100% of the time. No lies, nohiding, no settling for me, my family or my finances. He can be who she thinkshe is. He free from the old ball and chain that won’t allow him to be the manhe fancies himself to be. There comes a time in life when an adult has tobehave as a responsible adult live up to the picture they paint for others.

Edited by peaksandvalleys
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Betterthanthis13

I vote for #2. Can you have WH served at the same time the package gets delivered to his AP's BS?

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peaksandvalleys

Sorry there are a lot of typos. I am still getting used to my Ipad. Yes I would like to have all the information delivered to everyone at the same time but I am not sure that is going to work out.

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If you own (or half own) the home, or have any possessions of value, I would not be out of town when papers are served. I would worry about damage or worse to the home and other things - maybe him even going and dmaging things at the work place?

 

I think the game/dinner is too much drama rama - but a simple meal somehwere public is best for these things.

 

If you want to go for a kick in the ass, and you can do it legally, wait till he is out of the home for a long while (like a full day), move his positions into a storgage continainer (one of those PODS or something) and change the locks on the home - and then serve him at work during the day. If it is legal to lock him out - make sure the local police are made aware of it.

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I don't think you can typically decide when/where papers are served but you could strategically plan for it to be while you are away. My understanding (from where I live) is that officers will receive it in their to-do pile and then seek out the recipient at known home and work addresses. You would probably know when that process would start (within a day or two).

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Be careful about mailing her BS anything at home. She might intercept it.

 

I know my H and I both open all the mail, whoever picks it up or gets to it first.

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underwater2010

You are so my hero. I vote for option 1. I would not leave knowing he still has access to the house. Make sure it is all in public in case he explodes.

 

I say if you are going to divorce him...go out with a bang. I would love to see his face when he realizes he has to buy you out or find another job.

 

Do you guys have kids?

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underwater2010

Oh and I love that you are going after her too. Even if you don't win, the stress and public knowledge is great.

 

I would definitely talk with her BH and let him know what is going on, but omit the suit against her until she is served.

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peaksandvalleys
If you own (or half own) the home, or have any possessions of value, I would not be out of town when papers are served. I would worry about damage or worse to the home and other things - maybe him even going and dmaging things at the work place?

 

I think the game/dinner is too much drama rama - but a simple meal somehwere public is best for these things.

 

If you want to go for a kick in the ass, and you can do it legally, wait till he is out of the home for a long while (like a full day), move his positions into a storgage continainer (one of those PODS or something) and change the locks on the home - and then serve him at work during the day. If it is legal to lock him out - make sure the local police are made aware of it.

 

 

I don't mind the drama. It is time a play a role since everyone else has been playing one.

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peaksandvalleys
Be careful about mailing her BS anything at home. She might intercept it.

 

I know my H and I both open all the mail, whoever picks it up or gets to it first.

 

I will be using registered mail.

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peaksandvalleys
i like this.

 

you are leaving with your self-respect and dignity intact.

 

 

I wish this were the case. I say for now f-it. Complete hostility on my part and I am good with that for now.

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peaksandvalleys
You are so my hero. I vote for option 1. I would not leave knowing he still has access to the house. Make sure it is all in public in case he explodes.

 

I say if you are going to divorce him...go out with a bang. I would love to see his face when he realizes he has to buy you out or find another job.

 

Do you guys have kids?

They are out of the house and have been for some time. But they are in for a shock. I want to warn them but I don't want him or the OW to know anything. I can't risk it.

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cozycottagelg

This all seems really dramatic.

 

If I were doing this to my husband, I'd want to be home and see his reaction...not wait around for the phone call.

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TiredFamilyGuy

My vote is for option 2 with simultaneous courier delivery to the other BS (you should offer to meet them at the same time).

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Amazing!!

Give them both Exactly what they want, each other. And in the process, You gain Your life back.

 

Option One/Option Two, whatever helps You get to where You need/want because of these cheaters*

 

Now when I write I intend this next statement as malicious... well, I mean it ;) ;

Doesn't matter if an STD was present prior or not. If you can't prove it Was there before, I say definitely Hand that to Your H & OW for all to know!!

 

I mean , it's Exactly what they did to you. A malicious act of betrayal of You, The children, Your family & his family (and she did the same to hers... :()

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peaksandvalleys
Just an aside, something like 95% of all people have the HPV virus, and most have immunity that will overcome it. It's not a death sentence by any means, it hardly ranks as even an inconvenience. It's a wonder, honestly, you've made it this far WITHOUT having it. So, although it's not a pleasant thought, don't let that one get you down - it could have been MUCH worse, and you are lucky in that aspect. Also, you may have already had it and given it to him - that happens often as there are no symptoms and most women carry it. Good luck with it all - but my suggestion is let the HPV thing go, it's pretty inconsequential in comparison to the real issues that you are dealing with.

 

Since I have had the same doctor for more than 25 years, he is licensed physician, and I know him I believe he and I a better judge of how I contracted HPV. So thank you for your suggestion but it means nothing in this context. I get to decide what is inconsequential in MY life and what MY real issues are.

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peaksandvalleys
Where I live spouse's sign for the other person's mail all the time.

 

 

Where I live if you hire a courier they can only give the package to the person that is addressed to with ID. Though I haven't completely decided on how he will get the information. Only that he will get the information.

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peaksandvalleys

Option one it is. They will be served in within the next week. My lawyer says that the people who do serve will call me a day or so before to let me know. That makes it easier to get the info to her BH within a certain window.

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I just want to say you are a rock star! Kudos to you for taking your life back in style! I wish nothing for the best for you from here on out, and I hope your plans go off perfectly without a hitch.

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peaksandvalleys
I just want to say you are a rock star! Kudos to you for taking your life back in style! I wish nothing for the best for you from here on out, and I hope your plans go off perfectly without a hitch.

 

 

So do I but the murphy's law says it won't. I am prepared for almost anything. I think I was lucky to get the lawyer I have. He is amazing.

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After the divorce is final, take good care of yourself. Do things for yourself.

 

The next time you might have to meet your STBXH, have some young guy take you there.

 

Live well, that is the best revenge.

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peaksandvalleys

I get asked again this morning if everything is okay. This is when I let him know I can get tickets for the game next weekend. He is very excited. Luckily I have a client who isn't using his season tickets and we will have great seats. Still torn on whether to warn the kids about what's coming. They are going to be hurt and angry that I didn't tell them before he is served.

 

The tension is killing my appetite and it is hard to sleep. I feel like my nerves are literally on fire. What do I do about my children?

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