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Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 30th September 2013, 1:40 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
Well done on focusing on yourself. You can already see change, all positive. Your husband was just dragging you down. KUDOS.
Thank you, and I agree. I need a balloon rather than an anchor - don't we all?!
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Old 30th September 2013, 6:25 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by HtotheN View Post
No problem. I will tell you this about cheating: That has always been the only dealbreaker from when I started dating my first boyfriend. If you don't have trust and loyalty, you can't have much, right? BUT...then it happened and it absolutely crippled me for many years. I now wish that I would have been gone a decade ago but it could always be worse; I could still be with him a decade from now. My main concerns were centered around the children. If I had been childless, I would have been gone the first week all those years ago but as it was, I had a 2 year-old and an infant, and no income. I saw how hard my divorced mother had it and I was afraid to repeat some of her mistakes but she actually did a good job with my sister and me, and she did it with absolutely no help from her ex. Fear can be a very powerful thing, and is usually actually worse than the "thing" that you are afraid of. What I got from the BS was that he was my husband and we had taken vows and I blindly thought that we could make it work. I meant every word uttered on my wedding day and refused to roll over and quit.
The refusal to roll over and quit attitude shows amazing strength of character and tenacity to get things done when you believe in them I think. So when you switch your focus 100% to believing in something else besides your marriage and get all your ducks in a row, and take action, you are going to do great things and you are going to find happiness. Fear can be a very powerful, confusing force...
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