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Wife and bestfriend


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 17th August 2014, 5:04 AM   #241
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Originally Posted by atreides View Post
ah, well it sucks.... it happened to my best friend. His wife cheated on him 3 times before he finally gave her up. The first was with his best friend of 12 years. He forgave her but not his best friend.

It happens alot, it seems women cheat wit those in the circles of people they know rather than outside the known circle of people. You are not alone and there are a lot of great people on here who have been there as the betrayed spouse and the opposite whom have been the exact same as your wife.

Your best friend should have been in my opinion the fail safe to stop something like that, that is why they are our wing man. I think women who love us, also love the things we love when it comes to those closest to us which likely share the most of us in life such as a best friend. I think that may be the hardest for you having been his best friend for so long. Sometimes we also do not see that our best friends are our worst enemy, such as the start out as such but something untold to us sets off jealousy and rage and starts the clock for something like what he did to you. I have seen it unfortunately

As for your wife, that is your relationship to deal with, she strayed and betrayed.... if you do not have much together such as kids and assets, it is easier logically and legally to leave but your heart will have to catch up to your mind on that one.
Not only women. Not only women. It's some kind of weird dynamic and effed up mindset that's for sure, but belielve me - I know a man with this sickness. He even explained it as his "propinquity" problem. Go figure. Look it up in Wikipedia. There are actually psychological theories based on it.
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Old 17th August 2014, 9:31 PM   #242
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Originally Posted by aliveagain View Post
Would it be too heartless to send her a birth announcement with a family picture attached? Guess I already know the answer.
it wouldn't be heartless at all if i were to send her birth announcement letting her know hey look! this could have been us,but i'm not in the business of payback even if she deserves it
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Old 17th August 2014, 9:34 PM   #243
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Wow! What a sick lady! There's no fixing that. She has a lot of nerve! There would absolutely be no point talking to her. Ignore her completely.
She is sick and ignoring is the best thing for me
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Old 17th August 2014, 9:38 PM   #244
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Originally Posted by No Limit View Post
Lol'ing about caddish wayward people believing that every other person on this planet has the same broken moral views like themselves.

And if she really believes you've had an affair, she's going to tear herself to pieces. Looking forward for more nasty e-mails.
i'm expecting more emails and i'm also assuming she's going to use the fact that she thinks i were cheating on her to justify her actions so she will not look like the bad guy,placing some the blame on me
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Old 18th August 2014, 9:11 AM   #245
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i'm expecting more emails and i'm also assuming she's going to use the fact that she thinks i were cheating on her to justify her actions so she will not look like the bad guy, placing some the blame on me
Exactly. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own mind.

From another website by C-man:

“My own theory is that in some cases, the WS does not really know they are THAT unhappy until they start their EA. THEN, all of a sudden their marriage is the worst thing in the world. It's a way they justify their infidelity and lack of character.

So it wasn't a case of talking about unhappiness prior to the affair. It was a case of my stbxw "discovering" that she was unhappy as a way to justify her affair.

Even now, our marriage gets worse and worse in her memory. It's like nothing good ever happened. Our beautiful home (our second), with the paid off mortgage, our married friends who we used to hang out with, all of our vacations - all of our Anniversary weekends.

All the good times, all the shared experiences were apparently all a charade.”
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Old 3rd June 2015, 6:19 PM   #246
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quick update

My life couldn't be any better. I absolutely love being a father it's the happiest feeling being able to hold my son close I'm cherish these small moments for the rest of my life. Me and Sarah decided to get married the beginning of next year why wait I love this women and can't wait to spend the rest of our life together

I'll be back later to give everyone a complete update later so much stuff has happened
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Old 4th June 2015, 9:40 AM   #247
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Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
i'm expecting more emails and i'm also assuming she's going to use the fact that she thinks i were cheating on her to justify her actions so she will not look like the bad guy,placing some the blame on me
Prepare a timeline, done up nicely with clearly defined dates, showing when she started her affairs, when you broke up and separated, when you started dating your new lady, and when she conceived. Pass it around to any family or friends who are interested. That way you will provide them with tangible proof that your XWW was the one who bombed out the marriage.
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Old 4th June 2015, 9:42 AM   #248
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Originally Posted by Buckeye2 View Post
Exactly. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own mind.

From another website by C-man:

“My own theory is that in some cases, the WS does not really know they are THAT unhappy until they start their EA. THEN, all of a sudden their marriage is the worst thing in the world. It's a way they justify their infidelity and lack of character.

So it wasn't a case of talking about unhappiness prior to the affair. It was a case of my stbxw "discovering" that she was unhappy as a way to justify her affair.

Even now, our marriage gets worse and worse in her memory. It's like nothing good ever happened. Our beautiful home (our second), with the paid off mortgage, our married friends who we used to hang out with, all of our vacations - all of our Anniversary weekends.

All the good times, all the shared experiences were apparently all a charade.”
My exWW did exactly the same thing. They all do. It is the only way they can live with themselves and their sh*tty decisions.
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Old 4th June 2015, 10:06 AM   #249
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Good for you Leaving. I am glad you have been able to move on and make a better life for you and your soon to be wife. I do have to agree being a dad sure does make your life so much better.

Its good to hear from you.

Clay
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Old 4th June 2015, 10:35 AM   #250
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Great news Leaving! Wishing you the very best for the future.
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Old 4th June 2015, 11:19 AM   #251
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Great news Leaving! Wishing you the very best for the future.
Just read your thread, best wishes for you, Sarah, and your child.

There is life after a cheating spouse. You have proved it beyond a doubt.
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Old 10th January 2018, 10:52 PM   #252
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Update

Hello loveshack it's been awhile,but my life couldn't be better me and the Mrs welcomed a beautiful baby girl to our family on December 7. I love being a father and a great husband family is everything to me. Haven't spoken to my ex in almost two years, but what I heard is she's really struggling with drug issues and could be selling herself. As for my ex best friend he stills tries to contact me every two months or so but his calls go unnoticed.But I have decided to forgive them because if wasn't for them than I wouldn't be where I am now.
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Old 10th January 2018, 11:31 PM   #253
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Excellent perspective on your part. Keep the X friend out of your life forever.

He's a lowlife and will never change
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Old 11th January 2018, 6:27 PM   #254
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This thread supports the axiom "You can't turn a ho into a housewife."
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