dream_searcher Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 I have been married to current husband for four years - we've been together for six years. About six months ago, my ex-husband contacted me, and wants to get back together. The ex and I split because I slept with someone he was close to while he was locked up. (Yes he just got out six months ago - and he got locked up shortly after we were married for a probation violation - nothing violent - and served over seven years) I married my current husband because we got along pretty well, I have a child from a previous relationship and he is good to my son. We also have a son together. It was really a "Well, why not" type of decision, when we decided to get married. He is a good man, and a good friend - but it has always seemed like there is something missing. My relationship with my ex was an instant attraction - a meeting of souls. My feelings for him have always been intense. He is also good to my son, but hasn't been around for the last seven years. My husband and I were having problems before the ex popped up, but yes, he has complicated my feelings and thoughts. I have seen the ex a few times but have not slept with him. What should I do? How do I choose between them? Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Let's see. Your ex is your ex because he's spent the last sexven years in jail. Got their because of a probation violation, so he'd committed some crime and had served time previously. Maybe his offense wasn't violent, but to have to return to complete a sentence of seven additional years indicates that he did something pretty darned bad. He gets out of prison, hasn't had anything but boy-bootie (if he went that way while there) in seven years. What to do, what to do. Hey! Call up the old ex! That's the ticket! What can you be thinking? He's been out of your life for seven years. You should be way over him by now. You have a husband. Of course there are problems in your marriage. All marriages have problems. Don't think that a relationship with a man who's been in the joint for seven years isn't going to be a trip to hell and back? Think again. And what were you thinking when you married a man for nothing more than "well, why not?" You don't make very good choices. Ready to make another very, very bad one? You need some councelling. But until you get some, tell the ex-con that you are married and that your relationship with him is a thing of the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Well as a man, I can't imagine for the life of me why your ex wants to get back with you. Aside from what StartingAgain said (aka its just a bootycall/possible revenge type deal), you cheated on him while he was in jail with a close friend of his, you have two kids that aren't his and gosh darnit, you're already married! Myself, I'd want nothing to do with you. It'd be opening a major can of worms. Second, I don't know why you'd ever want to get back with him. I mean, he was in jail for 7 years (drugs?), you cheated on him when you were married so things must've not been that great, you have 2 kids to worry about, and you're already married to someone else. Sure your marriage may have problems but try to work them out first before you decide to get another divorce and go looking for "love". Link to post Share on other sites
Author dream_searcher Posted June 26, 2004 Author Share Posted June 26, 2004 Thanks to Fritz and Startingagain for your time and responses. I know it really sounds like a story-line to Jerry Springer - however, I assure you it's not like that. I guess the question at the bottom of everything for me right now is - should I stick with something that is bearable - or take a chance on something that could be wonderful... be it the ex or not? Link to post Share on other sites
Shootmecupid Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 I cannot help but post a response to this thread. Some women love the thrill of the chase ... to be wanted, desired and loved. I think this is your first feeling because your ex has come into the picture. There are men, on the other hand love the end result. I think your ex is thinking of the "good times" that were there before you cheated on him. Or it could be he's just after revenge. Really hard to say without knowing the ex. What you must do, is think about the consequences. Do you remember what you went through when your ex first found out about you cheating on him? Did he ever talk to you about his feelings when you did? What about your current husband? Did you tell him about your first husband and why the two of you divorced? Suppose you did go through with it. Could you look at yourself the next morning and be happy with what you had done? Could you lay beside your husband in your bed? Could you still look at him the way you do now? In the end, it's ultimately your choice. My advice, DON'T DO IT. Don't ruin what you have with your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
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