Real statistics and honest answers

[Betterthanthis13]

I love loveshack, I really do. I learn so much from you people pouring your hearts out and giving feedback to one another.

 

One of the threads recently noted that there is a definitive lack of WS's on the forum, particularly male.

 

And books written by experts and doctors on the topic of infidelity seem to be skewed one way or the other towards R, or towards healing yourself and moving on.

 

It all seems like a never ending cycle of pain and destruction, of each person having to learn these lessons for themselves at the expense of their own mental health. BS, WS, AP, children... Everyone is suffering. The same things over and over and over.

 

No prevention, no warnings, every man for himself. The only prevalent messages in society and media I see about infidelity are positive ones. Cheating is cool now and and you are kind of a dork if you disagree. Porn is cool. "Players" get high fives for "scoring". Who cares if they have a wife and 3 kids at home. Women read 50 Shades of Grey and are curious but too embarrassed to talk to their husband about it so they find a guy on Ashley Madison or Craigslist. Shhhhhh. Don't tell anyone. Keep quiet. It's none of your business. You can't legislate morality. Blah blah blah.

 

What are the true long term effects of all this? Has anyone ever written a book or done a study on infidelity by interviewing the elderly? They seem like they would be likely to tell the truth about their affairs and what effects it had on their personal lives looking back.

 

I'm in Florida. There are a million retirement homes here. Get some WS questions together and Ill go interview some this weekend. I can get them to talk with chocolate chip cookies and a smile.

 

 

Sorry all my posts still come with rants. I'm trying to cut back.

[underwater2010]

If these are directed at a WS then I have a few:

 

1. What could your wife/husband have done differently to keep you from having an affair?

 

2. If your affair was discovered....how did you it truly feel to watch your spouse crumble in front of your eyes?

 

3. Did you have one or multiple affairs?

 

4. If you could go back in time, would you ever have the affair again?

 

5. If you remained married after the affair was discovered, how did your feelings to your spouse change? Did you discover more about the strength/weaknesses of your spouse?

 

6. If you remained married after the affair, was your marriage worse or better than prior to the affair?

 

7. If you had not been married would you still have been attracted to your AP?

 

8. Now that so much time has passed....do your regret your actions in having an affair?

[Queen of Sheba]

I love loveshack, I really do. I learn so much from you people pouring your hearts out and giving feedback to one another.

 

 

I'm in Florida. There are a million retirement homes here. Get some WS questions together and Ill go interview some this weekend. I can get them to talk with chocolate chip cookies and a smile.

 

 

Sorry all my posts still come with rants. I'm trying to cut back.

Trust me, you want to see ranting come see me, I do it for a past time. My first post was goingt o be 5 pages long, I deceided to break it down...

 

This is a brilliant idea. Seriously brilliant. Nothing out there like it. Rough out some ideas and approach a publisher. Many of us will give you feedback and info too. You've got so much info here and we'll help individually if you email us etc. Well I will certainly. Mind you, you won't half get rants from me! Go for it, someone should make osme money out of this and start with the stupid things that WS say to BS!!