Movies about Infidelity

[jnel921]

last night I finished watching Anna Karenina.... I have to say it made me upset. The delusion, disregard and disrespect just sent shivers through me. I left the house earlier so I didn't have to look at my H as my emotions are in high gear.

 

I felt this way years ago when I saw the movie unfaithful. I cried during the scene where Richard Gere cracks the snow globe over the OM and kills him. I cried because I truly understood that moment and how easy it is to snap.

 

I don't feel that way now as years of IC has taught me how to handle my emotions. But I have to say that the movie I saw last night was like looking back at my first marriage and the cheating and opening up the current wounds.

 

Do you guys get affected or do you just stay away from these kinds of films?

[SmokeRat]

I felt the exact same way you did, when my wife took me to see Silver Linings Playbook. The scene were Bradley Cooper's wife is having an affair is exactly how I find my wife with the OM, minus the shower, as they choose the new couch I had bought months before.

 

It infuriated me, but then immediately after I just felt this hollow sadness. Ended up spending the night sleeping at the firehall.

[NotCamelot]

Yes.

 

My W and I watched Silver Linings Playbook this past Saturday. And she sat there completely silent during that opening scene. When I said, "I'd blow his head off", she still said nothing.....as if she could not even she the screen.

 

I think all of us, especially the betrayed, will trigger from those types of things for a very long time.

 

I remember when I'd hear people make jokes or tell jokes that had cheating as the content, I would laugh just like most people. It's not funny anymore.

[SmokeRat]

My wife went entirely silent as well. It brought back everything I felt when I first walked in on both of them, except I didn't go off, although I wish I had.

 

In hindsight, had I gone off and beaten the OM nearly to death, the fire department would have had a PR nightmare on it's hands.

 

Fire Fighter beats Chemistry Teacher near to death. Yea, I'm not even sure the Union could save me from that viper pit.

[ComingInHot]

I don't watch them. Too painful. I didn't even watch infidelity movies/shows w/episodes of infidelity/cheating Before my own experience.

If something in a show "pops up" regarding infidelity &/or cheating, my H will change the channel* It bothers him as well.

[SmokeRat]

It's funny how the media portrays infidelity is such a blindly good light. And it all seems to work out in the end.

 

Such as in Silver Linings Playbook. At the end when Bradley Cooper meets his ex wife, and they smile at eachother and he runs off into the sunset with Jennifer Lawrence.

 

That doesn't happen, people don't just go up to their ex and say, 'Hey, thanks for sending me off to mental institution for 8 months, costing me my job as a well paid teacher. Oh, and hey, thanks for f---ing that teacher in my shower while playing our wedding song. No worriers we're all cool now because I just did a dancing competition" Just doesn't happen.

 

If the wife and I end up divorcing, due to her infidelity, the last thing I will ever want to do is see her, let alone talk to her.

 

On a side note, if I already had a Jennifer Lawrence waiting for me to come running to her, maybe it would make the process easier =p.

[Spark1111]

I don't watch them. Too painful. I didn't even watch infidelity movies/shows w/episodes of infidelity/cheating Before my own experience.

If something in a show "pops up" regarding infidelity &/or cheating, my H will change the channel* It bothers him as well.

 

I totally lost my sense of humor and objectivity when it comes to infidelity in popular culture.

 

I also became acutely aware of jokes that denigrate marriage, wives or husbands, realized how pervasive they are and found it painful.

 

It is hard work to do it well and today I feel it should be revered.

 

it is not, and that may be part of the problem.

[SmokeRat]

I found that I've also lost my ability to tolerate any snarky remarks regarding marriage and fidelity. My wife is also hyper sensitive to these comments as well, because she knows my radar is always on high alter.

 

I've distances myself from a few of her friends, because they've recently had affairs and brag about them. My wife knows I'd like to reach across the table and smack them around for a few hours.

[SmokeRat]

Had my wife's OM told me to leave my house, like that man did in SLPB, I am almost certain I would have gone to my gunlocker and shot him.

 

In the long run, I could have easily claimed Crime of Passion, but it's in the past and I can't really change it.

[SmokeRat]

I've recently been listening to Michael Bubles new single, it's a great F YOU to OM/OW, even though the theme of the song is directed towards a woman.

 

A lot of the songs, I used to listen to with my wife, no longer hold meaning to me. Our wedding song, another by Michael Buble (Hold On), just fills me with sadness. Because while she was dancing with me, she'd already signed out and been with another man.

 

I brought our wedding song/video CD/DVD to a structural fire about 4 months ago and tossed it into one of the fires we were trying to put out. It melted and now is no more!

[NotCamelot]

I've recently been listening to Michael Bubles new single, it's a great F YOU to OM/OW, even though the theme of the song is directed towards a woman.

 

A lot of the songs, I used to listen to with my wife, no longer hold meaning to me. Our wedding song, another by Michael Buble (Hold On), just fills me with sadness. Because while she was dancing with me, she'd already signed out and been with another man.

 

I brought our wedding song/video CD/DVD to a structural fire about 4 months ago and tossed it into one of the fires we were trying to put out. It melted and now is no more!

 

Ouch!!!!! I really hope you don't regret that.

[SmokeRat]

I doubt I will. Other people have their own copies of our wedding dance and whatnot, as we had close to 300 people at our wedding.

 

The copy I torched, was the professional version that the hall made for us.

[waterwoman]

I read Anna K many years ago when I was young and callous and although I felt sorry for her BH I could dismiss him as an irrelevance to the grand passion. I don;t think I'd feel that way now.

 

Not seen the other film you refer to.

 

But with any other programme containing infidelity or even books I can feel myself get prickly and hot and tears start to come. It's pathetic! I found myself shouting at the television the other night when there was a man cheating on his wife..... need to get a grip.

[Decorative]

Silver Linings Playbook upset my FWH far more than me. I actually really enjoyed the movie. Probably because the WW was very minimally shown, and she was shown as a jerkface. And because I had read the book. So I had an even fuller picture of the whole story.

 

I also really enjoyed The Descendants, with George Clooney. It was fascinating to me.

 

But my all time favorite movie- I see it differently now. Love Actually. With two infidelity storylines, and Emma Thompson breaking your heart with every line delivered ....

 

That one hurts in the gut.

 

And The Vow- the scene where an adult daughter reveals that she hates her mother for reconciling with a cheating husband? I got up out of the theater. Left.

 

Also- it's a TV show, but I cannot tolerate Scandal. Where an affair is romanticized and glamorized. It is disgusting.

 

And I had to stop watching Grey's Anatomy after Owen cheated. Christina's reaction was too real.

Edited February 28, 2013 by Decorative

[SmokeRat]

Couple of buddies are Police Officers, and the stories I hear from them about BS's going postal on their Spouses or OM/OW is incredible. Even more incredible, are the amount of times by buddies want to walk away from a situation after finding out the facts and simply tell the BS to 'carry on!'

[SmokeRat]

In before some OM/OW comes in with this pseudoscience crap about humans being hardwired to cheat.

 

No, we're not. Maybe we were when we had not evolved to the point of having long life spans with an actual understanding of who, and what we are. The idea that we, as humans, are still hardwired to spread out seed as often as we can, is it oudated scientific ideology. There are nearly 8 billion people on this planet, 8 BILLION. Reflect on that number.

 

Humans have evolved to a point, where mass procreation is no longer needed in the modern world.

 

To say that we are slaves to our basic functions, is idiotic. You know right from wrong, if you choose to do the wrong thing, then you made a CHOICE. Your baser instincts didn't make that choice for you, YOU DID.

[worldgonewrong]

I watched 'unfaithful' when I was going through hell, and it only made the hell worse.

 

I recommend not watching ANY movies about infidelity when you're in the throes of crisis; it only exacerbates those awful, depressing feelings.

[nofool4u]

I felt this way years ago when I saw the movie unfaithful. I cried during the scene where Richard Gere cracks the snow globe over the OM and kills him. I cried because I truly understood that moment and how easy it is to snap.

 

Good movie, and I think it showed just how crazy being betrayed can make people. Some people simply handle it better than others.

 

My favorite line in the movie: "I didn't want to kill him. I wanted to kill you!"

 

Not that he would have killed her(even though he cracked OM's cranium).

But thats the kind of anger I think alot of BS's need to see their spouse for who they really are.

 

I'll never best a BS for staying with their cheating spouse. My heart goes out to them and I'm on their side. I just know there is a better life away from a cheater.

[NotCamelot]

We started watching the new TNT show that comes on right after the new Dallas. It's called Monday Mornings. Medical show.

 

All was fine the first 3 weeks, then this Monday night as we are watching, one of the female doctors is forced to admit to an affair with another doc. Then she goes home and has to tell her husband.....who has some of the obvious questions. Then he goes to her work to see her and comes face-to-face with the OM.....says a few things we all say and then serves her D papers.

 

We sat there completely silent. I could barely hold back tears while shaking my head. My W turned her head away and did not look back until commercial time.

 

Not good.........

[SmokeRat]

Does it not worry you, that your wife just shuts down in those situations, instead of looking at your, and ensuring you know she'll never hurt you again?

 

It bothers me that my wife does that, she just shuts down and starts to feel sorry for herself instead of hugging me, or kissing me and saying she's sorry and it will not happen again.

[NotCamelot]

Does it not worry you, that your wife just shuts down in those situations, instead of looking at your, and ensuring you know she'll never hurt you again?

 

It bothers me that my wife does that, she just shuts down and starts to feel sorry for herself instead of hugging me, or kissing me and saying she's sorry and it will not happen again.

 

My W has done a lot of that. I get a huge sense that it is shame that she is feeling. In the past, she has done exactly as you say.....including a kiss and an ILY to go with it.

 

I don't feel the need too often now for the reassurance that the apology gives. But, coincidentally, she had said those things earlier in the evening.

 

Anyway, don't want to threadjack.......but, no, it does not bother me. I'd rather see that she has any kind of reaction than no reaction at all.

[Just a Guy]

"In before some OM/OW comes in with this pseudoscience crap about humans being hardwired to cheat.

 

No, we're not. Maybe we were when we had not evolved to the point of having long life spans with an actual understanding of who, and what we are. The idea that we, as humans, are still hardwired to spread out seed as often as we can, is it oudated scientific ideology. There are nearly 8 billion people on this planet, 8 BILLION. Reflect on that number.

 

Humans have evolved to a point, where mass procreation is no longer needed in the modern world.

 

To say that we are slaves to our basic functions, is idiotic. You know right from wrong, if you choose to do the wrong thing, then you made a CHOICE. Your baser instincts didn't make that choice for you, YOU DID."

 

 

I fully endorse Smoke Rat's post above. As Human Beings we have evolved and have been given the gifts of Free Will and Intellect by the Almighty. We can choose not do cheat or indulge in sexual transgressions. There is no such thing as Hard Wired for promiscuity. We choose to be promiscuous.

 

As Human Beings we should have the self respect and self esteem which should dictate that behaviour which is inappropriate must be avoided because it does not define us. I would think that only people who do not have self respect and self esteem would choose to cheat on their spouses rather than hold themselves to a higher standard. There may be people who cannot help themselves and who resort to cheating just as there are people who are compulsive gamblers. However these people are not the norm and are in fact damaged emotionally. Our intellect and free will should help us steer a course which is clear of such pitfalls.

 

Fact is cheaters know they are doing something wrong and feel guilty but then they develop mechanisms to help them cope with guilt and in fact justify to themselves that what they are doing is in fact NOT wrong and that their spouses are the ones who have driven them to take this route. That said, I guess that cheaters will continue to proliferate in this broken world of ours because the things that cause such behaviour are not being set right and, in fact, are being added to everyday.

[Spark1111]

what about songs?

 

I know there were a few songs on his IPod after had NOTHING to do with us or artists we like, yet there they were.

 

I notice HE is was much more negatively affected by them than I was and one by one....they disappeared.

 

when they come on the radio, he changes the station.

[SmokeRat]

My wife can tune that sort of thing out (songs and whatnot), but everyonce in a while, our wedding song will come on, and I just let it play.

 

I never have to say anything because the song smacks her with the SHAME BAT. It's similar to the BAN HAMMER, but filled with righteous shame'y goodness.

[96nole]

what about songs?

 

I know there were a few songs on his IPod after had NOTHING to do with us or artists we like, yet there they were.

 

I notice HE is was much more negatively affected by them than I was and one by one....they disappeared.

 

when they come on the radio, he changes the station.

 

This morning Carrie Underwood's song "Two Black Cadillacs' came on the radio. I got a kick out of the lyrics.