I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

[Fedup&givingup]

Many people that have not experienced the ultimate depths of betrayal such as being cheated on say things like, "How could you NOT know!" and "WHY did you put up with that for so long?", or "I wouldn't have put up with that!"

 

Well, it's all easier said than done.

 

In my case, my husband came flying in at a very opportune time in my life with a flapping cape, loudly proclaiming, "I'LL Save YOU!" It's true. I was hesitant, very hesitant about him because of that. He didn't just "go away", he just tried harder. Until he won.

 

He proclaimed how crazy he was about me, and how in love with me he was. He completely altered his life to prove it, too. That was the hook, line, and sinker. Maybe he was for real, but honestly now...I don't hardly think so. I think it was a game. I say that now, but not at the time. How was I to know?

 

Words, words, words.................vs........................ Actions, actions, actions.

 

It's true, his words were prolific and powerful. His actions were too. However, somewhere along the way, his actions have turned his words into lies that mean absolutely nothing. True, he has worked his tail off at being a wonderful provider-I've got everything I could ever want, except happiness and peace due to what he has done.

 

See, cheaters like my husband are master manipulators. They do things to please you, and they do things to screw you....all at the same time. That's where the ambiguity and confusion sets in, making it very difficult to see the forest through the trees. They use things that mean a lot to you as their weapons.

 

Just keep in mind that it's so much easier to point things out to someone else than it is for that person, because they are simply in the thick of it all.

 

When strange things start happening where you start questioning their actions, everything becomes surreal and overwhelming. You tend to do "stupid" things instead of doing what you think should be the obvious. You tend to look the other way in order to avoid an enormous amount of pain. This is a defense mechanism...something innate we have in order to protect our own sanity.

 

Don't ever underestimate the logic, the reaction, or the reasons why a person that has been cheated on does the things they do. It is something I am learning about my own self...why I have reacted and handled this situation the way I have. I've learned that I am right where I need to be, for a reason.

 

I feel very protected through all of this from my higher power, and I feel watched over, despite all the bad things. Things are going as they need to go, and there is a reason for all of this. I can honestly say that I haven't been dealt anything I couldn't handle, and I'm not handling it alone. I WILL make it through this, to the other side.

[Arabess]

GOOD FOR YOU....my friend!!!!

 

I hope every OW reads this thread and realizes this is the same type of A$$CLOWN she is dealing with. They cheat and lie on both sides and have no remorse. It's ALL ABOUT THEM! They only love based on how you make THEM feel....it's never about how YOU feel....or what YOU may need.

 

You are right Feds....they are master manipulators.....a con-artist of love!! But yet somehow, when you stand up to them...they convince themselves that THEY are the victim. And perhaps they are. They are victims stuck in their own pathetic selfish lives.

 

I know you've been fair, reasonable and have given your marriage every chance possible. There is a time though when you have to walk away....because enough is enough. It takes awhile to get your body in line with your heart. Physically making the motions to leave is VERY difficult.

 

You'll survive it Feds.....and come out more of a woman than he ever was a man.

 

The BIG JERK that he's been to you!!!!!

[Fedup&givingup]

Thank you, Arabess. In due time, he will realize the impact of the multitude of his lies and his actions. He will reap what he has sown, and I will NO longer be his trophy.

 

The way I see it, is I have my whole life ahead of me. He has not defeated me. He has stagnated me only, and I see the light at the end of that tunnel as I move forward, and leave a blaze of kicked up dust behind me. YEE HAW!