Decided to stop going to MC

[jnel921]

We have gone to MC ever since D-Day in Oct. Although I had my suspicions since August. We are in a better place. My H has changed depts so he is no longer working directly with his former BF and he has changed his cell number. I have made sure to add call block to the OW's number on both of our phones.

 

We are getting along and things are back on track. I have told my H if he wanted to continue that he could but He doesn't feel it's necessary either. I personally have been to counseling many years after my first marriage and I feel I have a handle on my emotions. I try not to get too caught up in my thoughts or memories of what happened. There are a few triggers that bring it back, but again I try to keep busy and think about upcoming happier thoughts.

 

It is tough, but not impossible to do. I left my ego at the door a long time ago. I know why I am a wonderful wife and why I didn't deserve this. H continues to show and tell me everyday how grateful he is that I gave him this chance to rebuild our love.

 

Reading everyone's stories here has helped me so much. I pray everyone can get to where I am and find some peace and happiness again.

[KathyM]

I'm glad you're doing so well now, but two months is not very long to rebuild a marriage that was so broken to the point of infidelity. Marriage counseling after infidelity involves helping the couple learn and establish better boundaries to protect their marriage in the future, it helps them work on communication issues that are and were damaging their marriage, it helps them learn how to reestablish the connection with each other, both emotionally and physically, and explore what underlying issues in the WS and the marriage contributed to the decision to go outside of the marriage, just to name a few things that are often worked on through marriage counseling. I can't imagine that all of that would be adequately explored and resolved in such a short time. I think a lot of times a couple is wanting to sweep the whole thing under the rug to take away the pain, but then the issues that led to the infidelity (communication, emotional disconnect, poor boundaries, etc.) are never dealt with adequately, and the same issues that brought the couple to that point are not resolved or dealt with. It's also common for the couple, after infidelity, to go through somewhat of a honeymoon period, and they think everything is OK now and they have a handle on things, only to find their prior issues (poor boundaries, poor communication, poor coping strategies, etc.) croping up later on because they never were properly resolved. I think it's a mistake to leave therapy until all issues are discussed, treated and resolved. I hope it works out for you in any case.