Sugarkane Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I thought my cousin and his wife were perfect. Until my cousin contacted my sister via Facebook. And blew up her fb page. My sister had a pic with her and her friend. My Cousin has never met her friend at all (we don't live close to my cousin). he told my sister to bring her friend over as his wife was going to be away. He said he wanted to sleep with her. My sister was shocked. He blew up her fb page. And then he told her to tell no one- especially my brother and father. The whole "boys will be boys" thing really pisses me off. I thought my cousin was a decent guy. I feel sorry for his wife as she is a really nice person and deserves better. I didn't know whether to tell my mother or not. And nosing found out this Christmas is at his house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 Problem is I don't have his contact details and we only see them at Christmas. Rarely more than that. He lives far away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 I would expose him. How would we do that? I'm sure he would lie through his teeth Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Print out copies of her FB page, and mail it to his wife. Surely you can get their address. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 It's none of your business.However good your intentions may be, these kind of things almost always blow up in your face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 It's none of your business.However good your intentions may be, these kind of things almost always blow up in your face. Those who do nothing against evil are just as guilty. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 Well the only time we see them is Christmas. So that will ruin it Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I'm not sure here so correct me if I'm wrong but you sound a bit younger than me. I'm asking about you age range considering the different levels of coping strategies you may or may not know. Do you have one person in your family that you can confide in w/the promise of NOT saying anything until you & said person have talked this issue to death? It comes across to me that you are VERY shaken up and need to have someone to shoulder this burden w/you. This is a huge burden to carry by oneself & I'm SO sorry you're hurting! Please consider that if you don't have the experience w/helping someone else go through this or you having gone through this that opening up to a trusted maybe more experienced individual will help you** I wish you Well!!** Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Those who do nothing against evil are just as guilty. Nice catchy saying with no meaning. Here are a couple that offer the opposite. "People don't know anything about themselves because they're all worried about everybody else. " "Haters really don't have their own live's actually. Why? Because they are so focused to live in yours." "Be careful of who you pick as a friend, most people pretend to listen, but are only gathering information to judge you with." "Fake people talk about other people being Fake. Real people worry about their business and nobody else's." Shall we go back and forth with this? What I offered the OP was my opinion..it is mine and I own it. I respected other posters to leave their advice to them..I expect the same. Go opinion police and judge someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) I would suggest not talking about this yet to his wife or your mother or anyone else, since he didn't actually do anything yet-didn't talk to her, didn't meet her, but he is obviously thinking about it. I would suggest you contact him and let him know you are concerned for him, and as his cousin, you want to help him if he is getting off track. Tell him you know he's been thinking about stepping out on his wife, and you don't want to see him make a big mistake like that and ruin his marriage, so you'd really like to talk to him about what is troubling him, since you are concerned for him as a cousin. Hopefully, he will then confide in you and you will have a chance to suggest he seek counseling before he gets involved in something that's going to have major repercussions for him. Act as his mentor, his sister, his friend, and do try to get some discussion going so that you can have a possible positive influence on him before he screws up his marriage and his life. This IS your job as his relative who cares about him. He needs you to hold him accountable and try to keep him on track. I've had to do this at times with my sisters and my nieces. That's what family is for--we provide emotional support for each other, we look out for each other, we hold each other accountable and have their bests interests at heart. Time to step up to the plate and delicately open some dialogue with him and be a good cousin to him by trying to steer him back on track if you can. I would suggest you try, and not just ignore it, and not go spreading this to all the relatives at this point. If he were already in an affair or had met this woman or developed an emotional relationship with her, my answer would be different, and then I would think you had an obligation to expose this to his wife, but right now it sounds like he's just thinking about it, and you should try to intervene before it goes any further. Edited October 3, 2012 by KathyM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) You are dead wrong here. I am not dead wrong..it is my opinion. I will leave you to yours, and I expect you to leave me to mine. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Go opinion police someone else. Edited October 3, 2012 by standtall 1 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) standtall, no one is "opinion policing" you, Yes you are..here it is. You are dead wrong here. And here ..get this, in the same thread that you claim you don't opinion police, you do it again then YOU shouldn't post your opinions here at all. I love the revisionist history that you do. You say something,then claim you don't. Do you even read what you write? I'm taking the heat just fine, and if you can't have a civil, respectful conversation, then let's just say we agree to disagree and leave it at that. I am done engaging in this meaningless discourse with you. OP, my opinion remains unchanged..stay out of it. Edited October 3, 2012 by standtall 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 My opinion remains unchanged, too. You have an obligation to tell his wife. Let HER decide what to do after that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sadguy82 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Get all the info you can and blackmail your cousin... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts