whatsthetruth Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I need help analyzing a story she told me. A friend/co-worker was having trouble with his wife, she was trying to force him to sign divorce papers and kicked him out. So like a dummy I invited him to spend a few nights at my house till he figured out where to go. He stayed 2 nights then spend the next few nights at another friends house. He spent a third night at my house just after that. I worked hard that third day and went to bed early. My girlfriend and him were the only ones awake. I noticed him avoiding me at work and when I did force contact he kept it quick and always acted liek he was in a big hurry. His behavior forced me to confront my girlfriend. I lost my temper and threw things around our bedroom insisting his behavior was his guilt and that she was going to tell me what happened that night that made him avoid me. Here is the exact story she told me. But 3 days later she told me she made the story up out of fear that I wasnt going to stop until she told me they did something. The very first story she told me was that she didnt see him the whole night "he stayed outside" Then she told me he asked her four different questions thru the night, which she answered and went back to watching tv with the kids while he went back outside. Keep in mind, her answers were instant! She never ever paused when replying. We were having problems at the time in our relationship also. Her - just stop and i'll tell you everything. Me - ok Her- i went out Me - what? Her- i went out Me - you went out? Her - i put the kids to bed and i went out Me - and? Her - and we did it Me - where? Her - in the weight room Me - why in my weight room? Her - it was the only place to do it Me - where in the weight room? Her - on the chair Me - ok tell me what happened Her - i went out and we talked Me - what did you talk about? Her - i dont remember Me - what did he talk about? Her - his ex Me - then what? Her - i walked into the room looking for something Me - and? Her - i turned around and he was RIGHT THERE! with emphasis on right there Me - and? Her - and he kissed me Me - then what? did you start grabbing eachother? Her - no we just came together Me - came together? Her - our bodies just came together Me - then what? did you pull it out or did he? Her - niether, he just dropped his pants Me - what did you do? Her - i spun the chair " the chair is always facing a corner" Me - how many times did you cum? " she has multiples easily" Her - i dont know Me - how long did you do it? Her - i dont know Me - come on how long Her - i have no idea Me - you have to have some idea Her - i honestly have no idea Me - must have been a long time if you wont tell me Her - well...it couldnt have been a SUPER long time, because i wasnt worried about the kids waking up the next morning the guy got up 2 hours early, left a note saying he was going to sign the divorce papers and jsut left. I've asked her to tell me a similar story and she failed horribly bringing two strangers together without either of them stepping to far out of line making the first moves. I also sent her a text from a fake cell number saying " we need to talk, when can i see you again? n dont worry my ex cant trace this its from a new number... she deleted the text and denied ever getting it...till i showed her online and she said she just thought the text was to the wrong number. We cant afford a lie detector test right now and this is killing our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Talk to the guy's wife. This has probably been going on a lot longer than you think. She should also move out while you consider what to do. If you make this a soft landing for her, you'll never be given the truth. Sorry you find yourself here. Sadly, it happens all the time. Much of the advice you receive will seem harsh. Consider it strongly anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Betrayed&Stayed Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 A lot of "I don't know" and "I don't remember" responses. Seriously, she says she's screwing your friend in your house while you're sleeping and she doesn't know or remember the events? Why would she tell you this story if nothing happened? Of course I don't know what happened, but this version of the story doesn't add up. I'd keep digging, and from other sources such as your "friend". Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 She had sex with him, what else do you want to know? How long? Does ir matter, if it was a one night stand and it's as she described it then all a man needs to do is get close and drop his pants *lol* then in a sense it's even worse than an affair. She banged him and you're still letting him stay at the house? wow Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatsthetruth Posted August 9, 2012 Author Share Posted August 9, 2012 Thanks for your replies. No, the third night was the last night he stayed, and I havent talked to him since. She claims to have made up the story for fear I was going to hurt her if she didnt tell me what I suspected so much. I'd like someone to analyze her story. When I asked her simply who pulled "IT" out you or him. In a lie she would have taken the easy-already offered answer = him. But she went a completely different route in saying -"neither, he just dropped his pants" Thats not her style, she likes quick, easy and over with when we are having issues. She swears up and down that it never happened, I just can undo the weird things in her story or the way she just instantly had an answer ready. Knowing she is a horrible liar that sticks to simple lies. Link to post Share on other sites
TobyBoy Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Dude!!!! She told you the truth!!!! She waited for you to crash, the OM kept coming back inside to ask if you were asleep, when you were she went out(side?) and screwed him! Why did she wait THREE days to change her story? To get their stories straight!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 If you were so angry you were throwing things and shouting...that would be scary to many people , she said just stop and I'll tell you everything... Someone throwing things and yelling doesnt want to hear Nothing Happened OR I dont know what your talking about. She told you what you wanted to hear. Have you thrown things around before during arguments? It seems odd that your friends behavior would prompt you to become angry to that point with your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 ... Me - what did you talk about? Her - i dont remember Me - how many times did you cum? " she has multiples easily" Her - i dont know Me - how long did you do it? Her - i dont know Me - come on how long Her - i have no idea Me - you have to have some idea Her - i honestly have no idea Me - must have been a long time if you wont tell me Her - well...it couldnt have been a SUPER long time, because i wasnt worried about the kids waking up. Translation = "Of course I know! I remember it all incredibly vividly. The rush of danger and excitement was awesome!... I simply don't know what you want to hear right now... You're kind of hard to read at the moment... and I guess I don't really care either way. Can you just go away and leave me alone now?" Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 GLDheart, thank you, I never saw this pattern. My ex would use the "I don't know" cop out too from time to time. It's as simple as "I don't want to commit to an answer that can be later used against me". Link to post Share on other sites
Later82012 Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I think she told you exactly what happened expecting you to not believe it. The guy leaving the house early leaving a note is another thing you need to consider. I think she slept with him. A few questions: 1. Why would you stay with a woman you can't trust? 2. Why would you bring another man home when you have a woman at home that you can't trust? 3. Do you really want to stay with a woman that could be bedded within 2-3 days by a stranger? 4. Do you want to stay with a woman that would sleep with friends/co-workers of yours? She is more than a cheater. She has absolutely no respect for you and not an ounce of thought for how you would be hurt if she slept with a friend of yours and slept with him when you are in another room in the same house. 5. Why do you have friends that would sleep with your woman given an opportunity? I think you have issues judging characters of people and you should work on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 (edited) She's your girlfriend not your wife but she is the mother of your children. Do you want to make it work for the sake of the children. That's something you have to decide from now. Decide what it is you need to hear from her that will make you stay in this relationship. If you don't get what you need then it's time to end this relationship. One rule of a relationship is you don't let people in your house. I don't care how good a friend they are offer some money for a motel. You can't stay in my home. He has marital issues which by her story says a lot about why it might be ending. I would say to confront him if you need answers but it shouldn't come from him. It should come from your partner. Edited August 12, 2012 by Emme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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