Is this inappropriate?

[JasonRay]

Hey all,

 

I've read a lot of topics here but never posted one. We are not married but I thought this was a more appropriate section that the dating jealousy one.

 

I met her 1.5 years ago..she was married and had 2 kids. I was not the first person she had cheated with on her husband of 15 years. She got separated about 6 months ago and moved in with me. We were in love from the very beginning and still are. The problem is the amount of texts that she and her ex-husband (or soon to be ex-husband) send to each other on a daily basis. When we have the kids for the weekend, I am the one playing with them and she is sitting and texting with him. She texts him all the funny things they do or anything they say or a surprise gift that they bought him. They text at night when the kids are sleeping...they text when they are at work. I know she isn't sleeping with him or anything but it is really bothering me. I spoke to her about this months ago and she told me that she would be civil with him...specifically telling me that she wouldn't be friendly. And yet, they are always discussing how hard her work is and what he is doing for fun...music,etc. What do I do? Do I just ignore it because I am being unreasonable?

 

Thanks.

[january2011]

Yes, I think you're being unreasonable. And so is she. She's using both her husband and you to meet her needs. But neither of you are getting your needs met.

 

I suggest that you walk away. She's done this before. She'll probably do it again. She doesn't care about you or her husband. She just cares about getting what she wants and expects both of you to put up with it.

[whichwayisup]

She got separated about 6 months ago and moved in with me. We were in love from the very beginning and still are. The problem is the amount of texts that she and her ex-husband (or soon to be ex-husband) send to each other on a daily basis. When we have the kids for the weekend, I am the one playing with them and she is sitting and texting with him.

 

I feel for those kids. They have been pushed into going to your house and part of your life so soon. There's no divorce, just separation and that's a hard adjustment for ANY kid, so throw in now they are involved in your life is too much..

 

If this works out, you have to accept that her exH will be in your lives forever. He is always going to be there because of their kids. Don't try to replace him either. Those kids have one father. Be a friend if anything..

 

Anyway, your MW seems to not know what committment is since you aren't her first affair.

[Try]

I met her 1.5 years ago..she was married and had 2 kids. I was not the first person she had cheated with on her husband of 15 years. She got separated about 6 months ago and moved in with me. We were in love from the very beginning and still are. The problem is the amount of texts that she and her ex-husband (or soon to be ex-husband) send to each other on a daily basis.

You have it backwards. The husband has every right to communcate with his wife. She and her husband of 15 years are still legally married as they are not divorced. Separation was established by the courts to allow married people a chance to reconcile before the divorce is finalized. This means that you are the other man (OM) and not the husband.

 

You have been seeing her for 1.5 years but she only separated and moved in with you 6 months ago. This means that you cheated with the wife behind the husbands back for 1 year before the separation. You have no right to expect more fideltiy to you than she gives to her husband. In fact from the husband's point of view, they are still marraige and all he is trying to do is fight to save his marraige for his children's sake. Your moral compass is so off, you do not even know how self centered and ethically wrong you sound do you?