Jump to content

Will a married man EVER leave his wife?????


CanadianGirl

Recommended Posts

I am married and having an affair with a married man for quite a few months now. I started the affair because I am looking for a relationship not marriage.

 

I am no longer 'in love' with my H and am planning on divorce in the near future.

 

I fortunately/unfortunately have fallen in love with MM.

 

Can a married man ever have a change in heart and mind? He told me he loves his wife but is not in love with her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Can a married man ever have a change in heart and mind? He told me he loves his wife but is not in love with her.

 

If children are involved, it's very unlikely he'll leave. I would say it's almost virtually certain in your case that the MM won't flee home and hearth because he gave you classic MM Doublespeak:

 

"He told me he loves his wife but is not in love with her."

 

That's a dead giveaway that he's not going anywhere--that you're a marital supplement, not a marital replacement.

 

Sorry.

Link to post
Share on other sites

An aunt of mine has been married for 20 years or so to a man who was married (and had kids) when he met her. They are now good friends with the ex-wife (who remarried and was widowed in the in-between years). I know a few other couples who traveled this path.

 

Not saying this is a typical outcome but it can happen. In my admittedly limited experience, it seems that it is most likely to occur when the OW makes an ultimatum while the relationship is still hot and heavy. Rarely have I heard of it happening when the OW sat back and willingly accepted her OW status.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll vouch for that. Kicked my ex to the curb last summer, he's still with the gal he was having an affair with (her husband gave her the ultimatum too).

Link to post
Share on other sites

And Brashgal makes another point: if the wife finds out and ditches the husband, the odds are good he'll stay with the OW... if not permanently, at least until he finds someone else.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a small chance he could potentially leave his wife. But he'll leave his wife because he wants to, not because you want him to.

Link to post
Share on other sites

maybe the phrase "it's possible, but not probable" applies to this kind of situation.

 

frankly, why would someone who has the best of both worlds want to change his situation? Not dissing you here, but I've suggested before that a married man involved with another woman gets all of them; the women just get parts of him ... not a very balanced equation, IMHO.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Not saying this is a typical outcome but it can happen. In my admittedly limited experience, it seems that it is most likely to occur when the OW makes an ultimatum while the relationship is still hot and heavy.

 

cdn may be on to something here. I know someone who snagged anothers' wayward husband and is now married to him...not very happily though, but that is another story.

 

Anyway this woman got her mm boyfriend so hot and bothered, she was his work-out trainer, and brought him to the boiling point...lots of hot foreplay, no full-blown sex, then dropped the ulitmatim...He went for it.

 

Since he was half-way out of his marriage anyway this pushed him over the edge and this guy had 3 young children at the time..

Now the new wife, ex ow and he have 5 kids between them.

 

I don't recommend this tactic or any that is going to wreck peoples' lives, but in general I think men do not leave their wives for the ow...because the ow is the answer to his marital unhappiness...SHe is the sex therapist...keeping the marriage together.

 

I don't think this is a good career to have... :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

My deepest condolences to your poor husband, and his poor wife. Sounds like you 2 belong together.

 

My, this question is asked here several times a week. Too bad people don't browse through the posts in the OW/OM forum prior to asking it..again and again and again.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I don't recommend this tactic or any that is going to wreck peoples' lives, but in general I think men do not leave their wives for the ow...because the ow is the answer to his marital unhappiness...SHe is the sex therapist...keeping the marriage together.

 

I don't think this is a good career to have...

 

The OW as the sex therapist, who keeps the MM content with the wife.

 

That's a very creative formulation, Skittles.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally agree Skittles!

 

As long as a woman allows a man to cheat with her behind his wife's back...she is enabling him to have his cake and eat it too....instead of him REALLY getting hungry enough to head to the Divorce Deli!

 

Also, I see Befuddles point in why OW's don't just read the previous threads on this subject. HOWEVER, the whole 'mystical thing' about affairs....is everyone thinks THEIRS is unique and different. It takes some serious retrospect before seeing they are all pretty much the same.

 

Canadian Girl,

If I were you, I'd go ahead and get my divorce. I would then start looking for someone who you can have a normal relationship with which makes you happy. One with a MM will NOT! I don't care how wonderful he is.....it'll come back to bite you emotionally. It's just not worth it.

 

Yeah....read all the other threads on this subject!!!!!

 

An affair which is just a 'fling.... is one thing. Once your heart is involved though.....you better watch out! There was someone else who started a thread about once she got a divorce....her MM DUMPED HER! She was no longer safe. That probably happens more times than not.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Not only are these MM/OW posts repetitive as to situation, even the language that is used is cliche-riddled.

 

* We are soulmates

 

* He loves his wife but is not in love with her

 

* Our relationship is incredibly special

 

* Neither of us was looking for this; it just happened

 

* Our feelings are too strong for us

Link to post
Share on other sites
* We are soulmates

 

* He loves his wife but is not in love with her

 

* Our relationship is incredibly special

 

* Neither of us was looking for this; it just happened

 

* Our feelings are too strong for us

 

__________________

 

SoleMate, those are great lines! They almost always work! :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

TRUE MEANINGS.....

 

* We are soulmates

We have a sex connection.

 

* He loves his wife but is not in love with her

She doesn't give me sex as easily as you do.

 

* Our relationship is incredibly special

The sex is incredible.

 

* Neither of us was looking for this; it just happened

I had no idea I could luck up and get sex on the side.

 

* Our feelings are too strong for us

I'm NOT leaving my wife for the woman 'I love'....can we keep having sex though?

 

;)

Link to post
Share on other sites
TRUE MEANINGS.....

 

* We are soulmates

We have a sex connection.

 

* He loves his wife but is not in love with her

She doesn't give me sex as easily as you do.

 

* Our relationship is incredibly special

The sex is incredible.

 

* Neither of us was looking for this; it just happened

I had no idea I could luck up and get sex on the side.

 

* Our feelings are too strong for us

I'm NOT leaving my wife for the woman 'I love'....can we keep having sex though?

 

Arabess, you've outdone even yourself. Absolutely brilliant! :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Men only leave if the alternative (you) looks much better.

 

I'm messing with a guy that lives with his girlfriend and child. Would he leave her for me. Probably yes! Why?

 

His girlfriend is uneducated, over 250lbs, ugly, with bad credit, and a bitchy personality (I know, I've met her)

Me on the other hand, Have a Big 10 college education, no children, 120 lbs, great looking, and impeccable credit.

 

Being with me would be a step up for him.

 

My mom always told me, MEN NEVER LEAVE UNLESS THEY HAVE SOMETHING GOOD LINED UP!!

 

What do you have that's better than his wife???????

 

 

Sorry to be so cold, these are the facts!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Iantheia - I've got news for you; yours may still not leave. Men very often have something 'good' but only want it on the side. They still want to keep what they have, no matter how unpalatable that may seem to the bit on the side.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Iantheia. You are also demonstrably willing to accept a sideline relationship that hurts the girlfriend; in fact you appear to be enjoying it with shallow sad fervour. Your feelings of superiority have no grounding morally or ethically and are the best inidcation of your innate inferiority.

 

Use a better mirror.

Link to post
Share on other sites

"You are also demonstrably willing to accept a sideline relationship that hurts the

girlfriend."

 

 

I didn't know he had a girlfriend at first. But I don't care. The sex is unmeasurable.

 

And my mirror is works just fine! :):rolleyes:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by moimeme

Iantheia - I've got news for you; yours may still not leave. Men very often have something 'good' but only want it on the side. They still want to keep what they have, no matter how unpalatable that may seem to the bit on the side.

 

 

yes yes yes yes..........read and memorize, then read again.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to judge you. It's upseting that you mocked and judged his real girlfriend as a way of making yourself feel better. Why does a woman with all your alleged credentials need to steal a man? I feel sorry for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...