hes creeping aound here for sex after i kicked him out

[teacher1994]

so its been almost three weeks i have asked him to leave. hes cheated several times. last yr with a lady from Germany when we live in another country. its was mostly emails and phone call. but sex was involved because they work in the same business and meet about three times on business trips. he was telling her in emails (i saw them) how he was going to marry her and she would want for nothing.

he dumped her and told her he wanted to work on his marriage....then when he thought he got away with it i found out a week after he dumped her! (busted, to think he almost got away with it)

that was a yr ago. i gave him another chance.it was GREAT! new love developed (i thought) then the convention came up where he met her and he had to go. he said TRUST ME. i will never break ur trust not after we built this again. he went and learn HE MET HER THERE! (i saw the emails)

she emailed him the last night askiing where he was and he told her and she asked if she can join him and he said ok.

i kicked him out.

i also saw other things in his emails that make me question if he was flirting r with other ladies....

now three weeks later, he has the NERVE TO TEXT ME HE IS SORRY. (in a freaking TEXT???????) how manly.

then he starts asking to come over so we can "play" i said HELL NO! u didnt even explain yourself.

he just says she means nothing to me. WTF?

u met her and u lied to me she was even there and had she not sent me an email with photos u would never have told me!

i said he never explained why he invited her to join him the last night.......his answer???? SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.

thats all i get.

 

now we has holiday here in this country. i was at his moms and he pumping me for sex. lol I JUST WENT OFF ON HIM! asking him if he was crazy. he has the nerve to ask for sex but no guts to explain himself. i go off on him and call him every name in the book then some.

i yell i hate him, hes a liar, and a very bad person.

then he just text me if the kids had dinner yet he will bring some over later! WTF?????

does he honesty feel he can just come home? AFTER REPEATEDLY DOING THIS!!!!! not once but alot?

i sent him text saying.......ok u want sex? lets make a deal. give me an hour alone with ur emails and ur three cell phones. and ull get an hour of sex. DEAL?

i get no responce......

 

he thinks he can come home and wiggle his way back with no explanation r nothing? i feel done. this is the third time i find out he did something to break our marriage. (could of been more but third time) and this lady was the one with an EMOTIONAL and SEX affair. it was the one he promised to leave me for and marry and they thought of baby names they would name their future kids! and he lied about her being there and he also met her alone and didnt tell me...why? cuz he thought he could get away with it. he didnt think she would email me asking me why im with him?

 

I WANT TO HURT HIM! HONEST. ill admit i love him.......but my anger is more. its different then the other times when i felt poor me i need him! now i just HATE HIM!

 

so pls tell me mean things i can do when he gets here being the good daddy to give his kids dinner. (we dont fight in front of the kids....) ill wait till he starts asking for sex, which u and i both know is the real reason hes bringing dinner for his sweet kids!

[Owl]

Are you married? If so...why haven't you divorced? If not...why are you still letting him interact with you at all, in any fashion whatsoever?

 

He's still "creeping" because you still allow him to be in your life.

 

Put an end to that. Formalize the visitation with the kids via mediators/courts, formalize the end of the marriage, and remove him from your life.

[teacher1994]

Are you married? If so...why haven't you divorced? If not...why are you still letting him interact with you at all, in any fashion whatsoever?

 

He's still "creeping" because you still allow him to be in your life.

 

Put an end to that. Formalize the visitation with the kids via mediators/courts, formalize the end of the marriage, and remove him from your life.

 

owl, wish it was this simple. maybe to avoid repeat of my first post u could read the details there. basicly, i dont live n the states, i live n a country where the wife doesnt get alot n a divorce (middle east) if i divorce here i would get nothing. i do work..so im staying married to him but hell live with his mother down the street while he can support me n his kids while i use my money to save up so i can stand on my own when i do leave. just to tell someone to LEAVE N FILE FOR DIVORCE is easy to say but for some its not that easy.

being an american living n a foreign country and it being a holiday i had a choice of being here alone at home r going to my in laws (huge family no need to see or sit near him)

 

no offence.............but i dont know why ppl just love to post JUST DIVORCE HIM........... ITS SIMPLE.

in life its not always that simple. it will happen....just not this week. i am done, trust me. but if i left today to go on my own i will have a fight. Do u know women in this country cant even GET A DIVORCE UNLESS ITS ABUSE OR AFFAIRS???? i have the emails from the affair. so i have my right for divorce. but i wouldnt GET ****! and he is a very high offical here (go read my last post) and to think i wouldnt get anything but child support if i left! i need to save money. so no i will not run out to divorce him without saving my money. i dont want to leave this country. i love it here for my own reasons. i just dont want walk away with nothing.

dont judge me....we r all in different lives.

[Owl]

Well...I'd suggest that if there are specifics that have a HUGE impact on your situation, you need to include those up front, or you can anticipate responses like mine...based on limited information.

 

Knowing that you live in the middle east, and some insight into the laws there around divorce do indeed make a hefty difference.

 

I'm sorry...I don't go back and re-read previous threads for every new thread started here on LS...just too much work.

 

You get the "just divorce him" because from American standards (where most LS posters are from) it's pretty clear he has no respect for you, nor is he ever likely to change. You're living in what most of us would consider as an unacceptable situation...ergo, you change the situation.

 

With that said...I have no advice to give you.

 

Your situation is pretty far outside my scope of knowledge/experience. You can't force him to change, you have no leverage to create change, and therefore seem to be pretty much powerless to do anything about the situation.

 

Don't be so quick to judge others would be my only advice to you. You get advice based on the information you offer.

[teacher1994]

Well...I'd suggest that if there are specifics that have a HUGE impact on your situation, you need to include those up front, or you can anticipate responses like mine...based on limited information.

 

Knowing that you live in the middle east, and some insight into the laws there around divorce do indeed make a hefty difference.

 

I'm sorry...I don't go back and re-read previous threads for every new thread started here on LS...just too much work.

 

You get the "just divorce him" because from American standards (where most LS posters are from) it's pretty clear he has no respect for you, nor is he ever likely to change. You're living in what most of us would consider as an unacceptable situation...ergo, you change the situation.

 

With that said...I have no advice to give you.

 

Your situation is pretty far outside my scope of knowledge/experience. You can't force him to change, you have no leverage to create change, and therefore seem to be pretty much powerless to do anything about the situation.

 

Don't be so quick to judge others would be my only advice to you. You get advice based on the information you offer.

 

 

the advice in my post i was asking for was what to do when he got here to bring the kids dinner when i already knew it was him creeping. i didnt ask for advice about divorce. but its ok u u misunderstood the post. i forgive u owl.

 

i am american. and even i understand within america there are also ppl experiencing cheating that are in all different situations. not all americans would agree its simple to just run out n go straight for divorce. some cant....it really is a different situation for each person....even in AMERICA.

 

anyway.....he didnt come to bring dinner. i took kids out. im still very upset with him and wish to only communicate with him when his family is around. they also are on my side. and agree with me 100%. his sisters r really my family away from home.

Edited September 1, 2011 by teacher1994

[Owl]

Well...I'll trouble your threads no more. Good luck.

[Woman In Blue]

Oh for Christ sakes. You're asking ADULTS what silly, childish "mean" thing you can do this loser when he shows up looking to get laid and bringing dinner for your kids?

 

What are we - in 10th grade all over again?

 

Hey, you choose to stay in a country that doesn't even value women, so as long as you're prepared to have minimal rights, go for it. Keep dancing your silly little dysfunctional dance with this ass. What do you want from US?

 

Post on a teenage message board since this is the mentality of what you're looking for. I'm sure they'll be able to give you all kinds of tricks and silly revenge tactics that you can play on the ass you married.

[PegNosePete]

i didnt ask for advice about divorce.

You asked for advice. The advice is to get a divorce. If you don't like that advice then don't take it.

 

What do you want us to do? Give you bad advice? Are you really looking for advice, or for someone to just tell you what you want to hear? Fine, keep on doing what you're doing if it makes you happy. But the advice from me and everyone else who has and will reply is to get a divorce.