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Do men having affairs think about their mistress when at home?


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I am writing an article on affairs and I am researching if men who have fabulous sex with a woman outside their marriage (their affair) ever think of (yearn for) the "mistress" when they are at home with their wife? Do the thoughts get in the way with your relationship with your wife?

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My MM (soon to be divorced) said he did think of me the two times they did it. He will always watch movies and think of me and get teary eyed. Just from what he has told me.

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In my experience, yes they think often of their affair partner and whether it impacts on the marriage depends a lot on the state of the marriage and the intensity of the affair.

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:laugh::laugh: He tells you about sex with his wife and how he thinks of you during it? Oh my my my how absolutely precious.:laugh:

 

:laugh: This got me soooooo tickled!

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I am writing an article on affairs and I am researching if men who have fabulous sex with a woman outside their marriage (their affair) ever think of (yearn for) the "mistress" when they are at home with their wife? Do the thoughts get in the way with your relationship with your wife?

I have never had an affair but i imagine if i did... no i would not think of her outside of our trysts.i could, literally, bend my secretary over my desk at 10am and I would have already forgotten of her by lunch

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datura_noir

/sarc/Yes all the time it was a curse upon our marrige/sarc

 

Seriously......

 

I can't pick his brain. No one has that capability. I could only hope she was as good as me on my worst day...:laugh:

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HalfAlive22
/sarc/Yes all the time it was a curse upon our marrige/sarc

 

Seriously......

 

I can't pick his brain. No one has that capability. I could only hope she was as good as me on my worst day...:laugh:

 

love this..my H's affair were not about sex..since we had it all the time, even during his A..according to him she just laid on her back :D..I doubt he was thinking of her..hey i can tell myself that if I want lol!!

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I am writing an article on affairs and I am researching if men who have fabulous sex with a woman outside their marriage (their affair) ever think of (yearn for) the "mistress" when they are at home with their wife? Do the thoughts get in the way with your relationship with your wife?

 

Given that he was constantly emailing and texting me while at home, clearly he was thinking of me. As for that getting in the way of his marital relationship - they didn't have one, to speak of. If they were ever at home at the same time, she'd be sitting knitting watching TV in one room and he'd be with the kids, watching movies or playing video games with them, in another.

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HalfAlive22
I have never had an affair but i imagine if i did... no i would not think of her outside of our trysts.i could, literally, bend my secretary over my desk at 10am and I would have already forgotten of her by lunch

 

 

lol.......

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I don't think that this:

 

she just laid on her back

 

equates with this:

 

if men who have fabulous sex with a woman outside their marriage (their affair)

 

but I guess some people's standards are lower :(

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Because most affair partners dont get much face time together...I would think that the bulk of the affair IS thinking about AP.

 

But...my exH would be hard pressed to even tell you the names of his OW.

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HalfAlive22
I don't think that this:

 

 

 

equates with this:

 

 

 

but I guess some people's standards are lower :(

 

knowing the other women he was with, wich I do..yes his standards were much lower...Idk..lol

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Memphis Raines
I am writing an article on affairs and I am researching if men who have fabulous sex with a woman outside their marriage (their affair) ever think of (yearn for) the "mistress" when they are at home with their wife? Do the thoughts get in the way with your relationship with your wife?

 

well this is your 2nd "I'm writing an article about" something to do with affairs.

 

but to answer the question, "Do men having affairs think about their mistress when at home?'

 

my answer is: who give a flying #$%&?

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wheelwright

I had sex with H once during A. I could not fail to think of xMOM, as he was in my thoughts constantly. I still have trouble not thinking of him after 1 year NC.

 

I did recount to xMOM this experience. I thought he was aware how sick of myself I was at this sex with one man thinking of another.

 

But then a few months later, upon reconciling with his W, he told me he thought of me while having sex with her. I think he thought that was sweet. I did not think that.

 

It was hard to be me when I was thrown under a bus. But I would not be in his W's shoes for anything. Which is ironic really.

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:laugh::laugh: He tells you about sex with his wife and how he thinks of you during it? Oh my my my how absolutely precious.:laugh:

 

Lol!! I have to agree on this one. I would be d**m right insulted if a guy told me this. What a POS.

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Summer Breeze

I love the jump on this thread! OP asked if MM think about OW when they're at home and all of a sudden it's a thread about MM thinking about OW when they're having sex and lying to OW about it. Love it.

 

I'm with OWoman. My xMM texted, emailed and called me when he was home. He always told me I was free to call him but I didn't unless it was an emergency. In all honesty he was in touch enough I didn't need to. I also was dating other people and he was never happy with that so he had a real fear of being out of my day to day life and being 'replaced'.

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Summer Breeze
I have never had an affair but i imagine if i did... no i would not think of her outside of our trysts.i could, literally, bend my secretary over my desk at 10am and I would have already forgotten of her by lunch

 

And if that's all you did for her you'd probably find that other than laughing with coworkers and friends about your poor performance she'd have forgotten about you as well.

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Summer Breeze
well this is your 2nd "I'm writing an article about" something to do with affairs.

 

but to answer the question, "Do men having affairs think about their mistress when at home?'

 

my answer is: who give a flying #$%&?

 

When I was I BS I gave a flying #$%&?. That's one reason why I divorced him with minimal fuss. We had a life and he brought someone into it. Of course he was thinking of her and if anyone here thinks they don't they're lying to themselves. If it means nothing more than sex then the WS is thinking about arranging things and what they're doing next. If it's emotional then from what several MM have told me they're in their thoughts all the time even if they aren't as open about it as some MM are.

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Summer Breeze
love this..my H's affair were not about sex..since we had it all the time, even during his A..according to him she just laid on her back :D..I doubt he was thinking of her..hey i can tell myself that if I want lol!!

 

And is said to so many OW about when a MM says they don't have sex in the M - you don't know what's going on in that R other than what he's telling you.

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thissecretgirl
And is said to so many OW about when a MM says they don't have sex in the M - you don't know what's going on in that R other than what he's telling you.

 

So true. Plus a busted MM is highly unlikely to say his OW was the best sex he's ever had

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HalfAlive22
So true. Plus a busted MM is highly unlikely to say his OW was the best sex he's ever had

 

 

well..I guess I did'nt care if it was good or not, I just know our sex was great..even after I found out, maybe thats why we lasted a long time after lol..

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love this..my H's affair were not about sex..since we had it all the time, even during his A..according to him she just laid on her back :D..I doubt he was thinking of her..hey i can tell myself that if I want lol!!

 

--------------------------------------------

 

I was going to say. Men who cheat and lie, cheat and lie on the wife and the other woman.

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--------------------------------------------

 

I was going to say. Men who cheat and lie, cheat and lie on the wife and the other woman.

 

 

-------------------------------

 

Might I add that I've been a BS. Divorced my husband. And I've been the OW (he lied about being divorced and when I found out I broke it off, but I'll admit having been already emotionally involved we were intimate again before I managed to break it off for good). But this guy was emailing all the time, calling every day. He of course said he thought of me during sex with her. At that point I had stopped believing anything he said. But was worse that he always contacted me on holidays, called to wish me Happy Mother's Day and had me programmed into his phone. To reimburse me for a tennis racket of his I had re strung (we played tennis a lot) he sent me money by personal check with his full name and address on it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Memphis Raines
When I was I BS I gave a flying #$%&?. That's one reason why I divorced him with minimal fuss. We had a life and he brought someone into it. Of course he was thinking of her and if anyone here thinks they don't they're lying to themselves. If it means nothing more than sex then the WS is thinking about arranging things and what they're doing next. If it's emotional then from what several MM have told me they're in their thoughts all the time even if they aren't as open about it as some MM are.

 

 

ok, so you gave a flying #$%& ;)

 

but I didn't. All I cared about was that she did cheat. I could care less if she thought about him, because I wasn't going to stay with her.

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