Gypsy_Soul Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I found this on this website. I'm quite curious as to what other's think of what this poster said. I personally do not buy this "man was made this way" junk. What do you think? written by By nature men are selfish , 24 June, 2009 Ladies, do you realize that your father most likely cheated on your mother? And your grandfathers cheated on your grandmothers? Men, married or not have had multiple sexual partners going back generations for thousands of years. Is this fair to us women who wish for a monogamous relationship with one man we love? Of course not. And do we feel entitled to possess a man who promised to love us forever? And only us? Yes! And do we deserve to have his commitment, love, adoration and never ending passion and attention, till death do us part? Yes!! We give 100% and we expect 100% back, every day, every month and every year - forever. BUT the sad truth is that life is not fair. And we women were programmed to be the givers and to make the people we love the center of our life. Men were programmed otherwise. Although men can form bonds and attach themselves to one woman, they will NEVER give up sex with other women. Please google the Coolidge Effect. Men will lose sexual interest in a female they have mated with many times. Sometimes to a point where they become impotent with her. No matter what. But when a new female is introduced their sexual vitality is back...until she too will fall a victim to the Coolidge Effect. Leave your guy, meet another one and you are facing the same dilemma. There is no prince charming out there. Face it! We women unfortunately feel entitled to possess a man sexually. If you feel entitled in this area, dream on sister, but you can't fight nature. Nature has programmed men to want and to seek sex with a variety of women. As much as we women hate this fact, there is nothing that we can do about it. Most men cheat and most men want and desire other women. And if a guy is good-looking and has that charisma forget it! He attracts women like bees to honey. In the ideal world, we fall in love and stay in love. The man never ever desires another woman, and the passion is hot every day for the next fifty years. But the reality is that the best you can have is to be the number one woman in a man's life. not the only woman, but the number one woman. That means that you two are best friends, there is a true affection and love between you two, and he comes home to you every night. You are soul mates. And although at one time in your early relationship he felt hot passion for you and you were the only woman he wanted to have sex with, you now accept the fact that through no fault of his own, he now cannot feel that passion any longer and is unable to generate it, if his life depended on it. Hold a gun to his head and order him to feel passion and lust for you, and he simply will not, cannot. Time robs us of everything. Youth, beauty, passion, life itself. But true love can last a lifetime. As long as you do not associate it with sex. As a man can love his children for the rest of his days, he can love you forever, he just can't feel lust for you forever. And lust is a huge part of every man. His high testosterone levels drive him to want and get sex. His hormones dictate his brain. And hormones will win over society imposed rules and moral values. Just accept it. If a man lies to you about him having other sexual partners, it means that he wants to keep you. He loves you and desires you to be the number one woman in his life. HE has just moved on sexually. I know it hurts. It hurts like hell, especially if you still desire him sexually yourself. Especially if he doesn't make love to you as often as he used to. Especially if you suspect that he is having sex with other women. Step back and take a deep breath. Evaluate the relationship minus the sex. Pretend that there is no such thing as sex on this planet. Would you still want to be with him if sex didn't exist? Would you? Is he otherwise a kind and supportive man? Does he take a good care of the family? Do you have good times together? Take vacations? Does he take you out to dinner? Holds your hand and tells you he loves you? Does he still make love to you? Perhaps not as often, but still does? BUT do YOU also treat him kindly, are being supportive and loving, affectionate? Sometimes when a woman turns into a nag and a green-eyed monster, she will drive her man away. BUT if he loves you and you love him back, and you feel a genuine bond with him without resentment....then you are his number one woman. And he will never give you up. His heart will always belong to you. His heart, I said. Not his lust. And you will never really completely accept it, and at times it will hurt you and make you sad, but as times goes on, the pain will lessen. You know why? Because HE will be grateful to you. Grateful to you for loving him in spite of himself, for not punishing him, hating him, nagging him. For loving him anyway, the way that only a woman knows how to love, as he canno...t and that is unconditionally. And as you loosen the noose around his neck and give him love anyway, in spite of everything...and treat him with respect and kindness....no matter what, you will see a transformation in him and in you. A compromise. You are his number one woman and he treats you as such...and he will restrain himself, as much as possible and you will overlook his weakness, when he fails. http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/community-features/ask-an-expert/questions-by-topic/infidelity/518-my-husband-constantly-cheats.html Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Yes, there is a lot written about men and their testerone levels which peak and fall, and how the introduction of a new partner stimulates them. But the problem is, many women today also feel the same way: they grow bored with the same sexual partner over the long haul. And because they now earn their own money in record numbers, they too are seeking variety in record numbers. So, ultimately, monogamy is a choice, IMHO. And you get out of a relationship what you put into it. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 1) The author sounds like a very angry woman. 2) I personally take great pride in being faithful, it makes me proud.. as a man. So I don't buy what they are "selling" one bit. That's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 What a bunch of crap that is. Link to post Share on other sites
james3232 Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I don't buy that. To my knowlege my dad never cheated on my mom and they were married 40 years until he passed. I certainly never cheated on my wife, not even as much as having a female friend or text buddy other than her for almost 11 years..........but she was sleeping with her lover behind my back for at least 4 years. I think it has a whole lot more to do with one's upbringing and moral character than gender. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 sorry duplicate post... DOH! Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 1) The author sounds like a very angry woman. 2) I personally take great pride in being faithful, it makes me proud.. as a man. So I don't buy what they are "selling" one bit. That's just my opinion. ^^^ What he said ^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I'm very glad to hear from the faithful men (above) - it gives me hope Link to post Share on other sites
Gfkr2 Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 This article is a POS...I'm the one who remained faithful in our M for 25 damn years while W had at least 3 all out sex As. Sure, we are getting a divorce shortly as the last 2 As are recent discoveries. I fully intend to put my good looks and charm out there while casting a wide net as humanly possible. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 This article is a POS...I'm the one who remained faithful in our M for 25 damn years while W had at least 3 all out sex As. Sure, we are getting a divorce shortly as the last 2 As are recent discoveries.Same here. For 7 years I remained honorable, chivalrous, and dignified and my EX had 2 affairs on me. I dumped her 3 months ago after catching her red-handed. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 1) The author sounds like a very angry woman. 2) I personally take great pride in being faithful, it makes me proud.. as a man. So I don't buy what they are "selling" one bit. That's just my opinion. ^^^^^ What he said too ^^^^^ They're obviously using paranoia to sell something. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAtLast Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Also faithful for 40 years (however, did engage in an exit affair in my previous marriage). No new woman could make me feel as good as the feeling of knowing that I AM the man that my wife believes me to be. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 23, 2010 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Please google the Coolidge Effect. Men will lose sexual interest in a female they have mated with many times. Yes, please do google the Coolidge Effect, because it doesn't have quite the impact on human behavior that this blogger is suggesting. Plenty of men remain attracted to their monogamous partner over the decades. A new partner might provide a rush of sexual energy, yes (coolidge effect)--but that doesn't mean that men will inevitably lose interest in their mate of decades. Link to post Share on other sites
painfullyobvious Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 How can man read that and not laugh. I think there is an aweful lot of projection in that article. Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 "Nature Men Are Selfish" Steve Irwin seemed like a pretty nice guy. So did J. Cousteau and Marlin Perkins from Wild Kingdom. BTW, I think that should read "by nature, men are selfish." Doesn't that make more sense? Grammar lesson over. Carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Marlin did have some monkey business going on Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Since women would be complaining non-stop if a man made the comments, I'm going to take that role over. How dare her bash men like that!!! What a generalization!!! Okay, point made. Anyway, the woman that made those comments obviously has issues. I've never cheated on any girlfriend I've had. It's wrong and I'd be putting not only my health, but her health at risk as well. You have to look at the big picture. I know I wouldn't like it if it was done to me, so I would never do it to anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Uh, the author seems to forget that women also cheat... No gender is guilty or innocent. We're just human. Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Marlin did have some monkey business going on Hahaha, and so sharply dressed all the while! Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Sounds to me like a BW who is trying to convince herself she is still number one. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Sounds to me like a BW who is trying to convince herself she is still number one. Do you realise how b%tchy that sounds JJ? Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Do you realise how b%tchy that sounds JJ? Just calling things as I see them. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Just calling things as I see them. So how would you feel if someone posted "sounds like the OW trying to convince herself she's number one" in response to a thread? Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 So how would you feel if someone posted "sounds like the OW trying to convince herself she's number one" in response to a thread? That happens all the time. Don't you read the OW/OM forum? I was called "delusional" as late as yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 That happens all the time. Don't you read the OW/OM forum? But how would you feel? You made a dig an unneccessary dig at BS and then try to dismiss a potential dig at OW. I expect better of you JJ. Link to post Share on other sites
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