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I can't help but think If this was all my fault


BrkenHearted

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BrkenHearted

Hi everyone I've been reading many of your stories and I thought I'd share mine with you. It's kinda long so bare with me here.

 

I have been married now for 3 yrs we were together though since we were 15 I'm 22 now. We share a beautiful daughter together but even that alone can't fix what happen. Back when we first got married I went to a club with one of my friends and I had a little to much to drink I know that's what everbody says but let me explain I never cheated on my husband nor did It ever cross my mind.

 

Well That night I had kissed somebody but It was not even a kiss persay I would say It was more Like one of those first kinda kisses you get were you get shy and back off right away well that's what I did. Well I felt really guilty about what I did even though I feel I did nothing wrong I'll still told him. Well we moved on from there and were doing fine then last year approxiametly September We were having problems again one of biggest problems were that he was never around his hours at work prevented us from been a family. And when he did have off he would say he rather spent time with his friends to play basket ball and things of that nature. Well back to the story

 

He had been acting really sneaky and I was suspiciuos that he was doing something but I had no proff and we were really hitting rock bottom well His friend was there for me more than my own husband and we shared a kiss together I know I did It again. Well I spoke to the friend and told him what we did was wrong and moraly wrong I could not live with myself this was now the second time. I was going to tell him what I did then I recieved a bill In the mail of a 500.00 phone bill that was my husbands and It was all from one number when I confronted him he deined It even after I had the proff right In front of him.

 

I was so upset and hurt I told him what I had done and he flipped he said It was over he wanted nothing to do with me and just left me and our daughter by ourselves.

 

My thing Is that how could he just leave us like this I was willing to work things out with him after I had known he was having a phone realitionship with some girl for over 2 months and who else knows what he has done with her. I just feel that I was the bigger person In this and told him what I had done and I didn't have to tell him I just felt more of a woman If I come clean to him and yet he lied for 2 months and didn't tell me a thing and live with himself.

 

It's been 8 months now since we've been seperated he want's a divorce and I of course don't want It, but I can't force him to love me and our child. And the sad thing Is that he has changed alot with how he provides for her he use to be with her all the time and now he has to many things going on In his life and doesn't come around as often. And of course he doesn't help me with her financialy

 

It hurts me alot what Is going on and he wants a divorce but he keeps prolonging It I can't help but wonder was this all my fault?...Should I stop trying to fix our marriage and let him go? :confused:

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I don't know I have an answer for you. I do feel sad for you and your situation. I think all you can do is look inside yourself and decide do do you deserve better than this man or is he all you have looked for in a husband (well realistically close enough)?

 

Will you be better off without him?

 

You need to take him to court for child support either way.

 

I know it will be tough to go on without him and it will be tough for the two of you to work it out.

 

I wish you the best.

 

Try finding time to meditate and clear your mind and just ask yourself some questions and answer them truthfully without a lot of emotion but a lot of thought.

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BrkenHearted

Thanks For the advice Steffany. I am trying to start over with my life for me & my child It Is extremely hard though cause every time I start to move forward he starts to play mind games with me he says things to me that make me believe that there may be a chance but then the next day he's back to his old ways. Your right I do need to look In myself and see what It Is I want because I see that I will not get much from him. It's just a hard situation for me cause we use to be so Inseparable nobody could get between us now anybody can. And I did file a case against him for child support I'm just waiting to take It to court.

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