Squirts Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 Okay so heres the deal. I have been seeing this guy for a week and a half. He is the one who chased me initially. Anyways, I don't know if he is married or what game he is playing. He only comes to see me one hour before work or straight after work. He always has he cell phone off, except when he goes to pick up his daughter. Which got me to thinking that he was married, or living with the mother of his child. But then when I went to his work (he is a bouncer in a nightclub), he is hugging me and kissing me and introducing me to everyone, so he's not hiding anything. The whole situation is weird, I feel so comfortable with him, and can talk to him about anything, and its like fate that we met! We talk about absolutely everything, even to how many kids we want to have - and its only been a week. Your talking to the girl that wont give her number out to guys in clubs, and then when I get theirs I put it in the bin, 'cos I'm not interested. But with this one it was different. Has anyone been in this situation? Or can give me an insight into what he is thinking/doing? When I ask him about it he laughs!? Go figure. Link to post Share on other sites
pleaser Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 The first thing you should do is find out how big his thingy is. That has been a concoern of yours recently. Next, tell him if he wants to see you again he should ask you out for a date and quit coming by your house when it's convenient for him. If you follow these two suggestions you get much closer to finding the guy of your dreams sometime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
beaker Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 I have no idea what he's doing, if anything. He could be messing around with any number of women, laughing all the while about what a sucker you are... or he might just need a new battery in his cellphone. It's a bit strange that he'll only meet you immediately before or after work, but after only a week and a half there could be any number of innocent reasons that he couldn't meet you at other times. If he keeps it up, and keeps foiling efforts to meet up with him at any other time, then you have every reason to be concerned... but I wouldn't sweat it just yet. You probably knew all that already, but I should point out one thing you might have been missing... The fact he was kissing you and introducing you to people at his club does NOT mean he wasn't hiding anything. It doesn't mean anything at all -- you shouldn't let down your guard based just on that event. It's a CLUB, and these people are his friends. Even if they were suspicious of him and his motives, it's highly unlikely they would pull you aside and say "Hey! He's only trying to add you to his harem!" because they don't even KNOW you. They have no idea what circumstances brought you and him together, and even the most pure-hearted people have trouble intervening when there's that kind of uncertainty because no one wants to make any assumptions. I know someone who likes to play around with 2 or 3 girls at the same time -- he has no morals whatsoever and thinks it's great fun -- but whenever he shows up with a new girl none of his friends ever says anything, even though they're all thinking "that's his victim du jour". It's not exactly cowardice that makes them keep their mouths shut, it's more that they're not sure it's their place to say anything. The psychology involved is really quite interesting. Anyway, I don't mean to scare you -- it's way too soon to arrive at any conclusions. I'm merely saying you shouldn't totally relax just because he introduced you to some friends, in case that was your tendency. Keep your eyes open and I'm sure you'll be fine -- if he's up to no good it will become obvious pretty quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 why does a guy who dates a 2-3 girls at once have no morals? does he tell them that they're exclusive? if not, i don't see what he's doing wrong...! just a morning thought, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
beaker Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 why does a guy who dates a 2-3 girls at once have no morals? does he tell them that they're exclusive? Oh, he'll tell them they're "exclusive", or they're "the one", or whatever he needs to say to get them to sleep with him before he throws them away. It's all about telling them what he thinks they want to hear, so perhaps "no ethics" would be a better term. If they were consenting adults and knew he was seeing other people then I wouldn't care what they got themselves into. The problem (to me) is that he makes a great game of juggling his victims so they're totally unaware of each other, and when he throws them aside after a few weeks -- or they find out what he's up to, which sometimes happens -- they are always upset and usually crushed. They're often pretty young too (not to mention young and pretty ), since less experienced women seem more susceptible to this kind of smooth talker. I'm not personally friends with the guy -- he's a friend of a friend, often at the same social events -- and his behaviour pisses me off enough that I don't think I could be. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 Gotta give a HIGH 5 to pleaser for that size comment...that was hillarious. As far as the guy goes....I think you might be onto something. There COULD be an explaination for this...and I think you should ask him anyway. But not knowing what is going on, one can only ASSUME that he is leading a double life, and flaunting the fact that he's got someone else to the people at work. Some guys have no self esteem and literally LIVE off the attention women give them. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 don't position yourself as convenient. if he wants to see you, arrange a date. sometimes schedules have a way of turning upside down, so you need to be flexible...but if he really digs you, he'll find a way to make time for you. so don't worry about not seeing him. Link to post Share on other sites
just_a_girl Posted October 4, 2002 Share Posted October 4, 2002 Originally posted by yes why does a guy who dates a 2-3 girls at once have no morals? does he tell them that they're exclusive? if not, i don't see what he's doing wrong...! I don't think it is so much not having morals, but does the guy have any feelings. Clearly a guy who dates more than one girl at a time doesn't have respect for the girls he is dating and obviously doesn't have feelings for them. I really don't see where in the long run someone can benefit from this apart from getting heaps of screws. Sorry for my strong point of view here, but i was dumped by a guy who wanted to see other ppl while with me but then stopped at the next girl after me and says he's only seeing her... but isn't serious with her. Uh huh!!! Feel free to see my full post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18025 As for Squirts, sus the situation out before you get tooo emotionally attached to this guy and especially before getting physically attached. Make sure you know what your getting yourself into. Communication is usually the best key. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted October 8, 2002 Share Posted October 8, 2002 What does sus mean?? Link to post Share on other sites
just_a_girl Posted October 9, 2002 Share Posted October 9, 2002 Originally posted by Ally Boo What does sus mean?? um, sus the situation out means: Check it out. Scope it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts