Still Grossed Out and Angry...

[ARDriver01]

How long does it take before you're not sickened by what happened? When will my imagination stop running circles in my head? How can I stop being angry and bitter? I just really want to move on and I know that on the outside I have, yet I'm still tourmented by violent nightmares and horrible introspective waking hours.

 

I'm in IC and does help a little. I just don't want to feel like this all the time.

[smartgirl]

I don't think it just goes away. The intensity and frequency lessen over time. For months you are thinking about it every minute of the day and the thoughts will hit you suddenly and violently, like being hit with a baseball bat. After a year or so different things will bother you at different times. There are all kinds of triggers that might set me off in a particular direction. But the time between is much greater and the intensity isn't as strong.

 

But honestly, I thought it would be much better by now than it is. I think for you, it will start to really get better when you start seeing someone new and can get a fresh start. It seems like your future ex has been a drain on you for sometime. Get your distance and keep it. I think that is a door that will be best shut tight. Good luck.

[maria22]

poor sweet, the nightmares are horrible.

 

One day, it wont magically be better but as humans we HAVE to move on, time moves on no matter what we do to stop it, and with that... we do too. Don't give up hope.

[Mz. Pixie]

Are you taking any antidepressants? Those should help.

[ARDriver01]

Is weed an anti depressant?

[cj1988]

My H says weed is GREAT for everything, but he is still miseracle as hell.

 

It does get easierm, but only in time, I still think about it everyday, but I am NOT obsessed with it anymore. It never goes completely awar...sorry !

[blind_otter]

Is weed an anti depressant?

 

I have a friend who recently moved out after his W cheated on him. He was a regular smoker but he's stopped for the time being. He says that weed makes him think about it too much/too intensely and thus makes him more emotional.

 

As a former smoker I have to agree with him....pot always made me dwell on things even more, sometimes to the point of panic attacks.

 

Just a thought.

[torranceshipman]

Get off the weed asap. There is evidence linking regular weed smokin with paranoia and depression...its probably making you feel much worse.

 

I know you probably dont feel like workin out eg running, but thats natures best way of making you feel more positive and getting some happy chemicals charging round your system.

[ARDriver01]

I was only half kidding though. I only smoke like once a month, if even that much.

[JustBreathe]

Weed is not an anti-depressant. It's a crutch. But I fully understand it if you're smoking more than you used to. I drank alot more than I used to for a long time. Also started smoking cigarettes again after having quit for 5 years. Down to 1-2 a night before I go to bed but can't seem to stop completely.

 

How long will the tape play in your head? It's just like smartgirl said. At least it is that way for me. Years later, it still surfaces now and then. Especially when we just start to get along again. I guess I'm protecting myself from further hurt.

 

Take care.