Guest Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Ok so me and my Fiance, we've been together 2 years and I love her dearly and she loves me, and tells me all the time. We tend to argue alot but we dont normally mind, because no one is perfect. Anyway about a week or 2 ago We FINALLY stopped arguing and we were having the best time together, i took her out tried to make her feel really special all that kind of stuff. Until, for whatever reason it was i cant remember she started feeling really down for some reason and i couldnt take it, so i made every attempt to make her happy and cheer her up, but to no avail. And in the end, as i have a rather short fuse (Which i can now keep under control) I Shouted at her and told her to go home and get out. So she got up, went downstairs grabbed her shoes... I felt terrible for shouting at her so i ran after her downstairs and took her back up with me. I told her i was extremely sorry and i love her very much, she wasnt having any of it as i had hurt her by takin her upstairs... My fault, i know and i have apologised for this time and time again. But it gets worse... I was just so angry and she tried to run away.. I got so frustrated i Punched a hole through my wall, and this Scared her Half to death and she looked at me like i've never seen her look at me before, she was genuinely frightened. Now a couple nights Passed and we were getting back on track and I suggested, for her own Benefit that we go on a break, just until we clear our heads, because hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now she is working this summer while i'm stuck at home searching for jobs, to no avail. And i had my suspicions that she liked some of the guys there. She has suggested that we see other people, and reassures me that we will get back together at the end of it. She has taken control, and im proud of her for that. I know we are on a break but we spent every day for the past 2 years together, regardless. And i still see her every day. But its not the same... I mean we kiss and we hug and she tells me she loves me but i cant help feeling so... i dont know how to describe.. maybe... Loose? She met someone at work and went out with him after work yesterday, she told me that he kissed her goodbye at the end, but she pulled away and was thinking of me the whole time. I'm going to a party this weekend with some of my friends and i just dont want to do anything cause she is in my mind. I'm trying everything to get her back. I'm worried that we wont get back together because she will form a relationship with him. I'm also worried that all my worrying about her is pushing her away.. I'm so worried, infact that i cant eat or sleep and i am Extremely depressed... Can anyone suggest what i could do to maybe get her back... i cant live without her i love her so much. P.s, she told me she wont Take her ring off... Please help me I'm worrying myself to death. (sorry for the wall of text) Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Can I ask you a question? Why did you grab her and force her back upstairs? How will you change this behavior? Other than just saying you won't do it again. Are you seeking help for your temper? Your actions were abusive and controlling. And if I saw your gf I'd tell her to never go back to you again. That your violence will get worse until she gets seriously hurt or killed by you. Why would you even think it was okay to do that to her? Why did you think it was okay for you to do it? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 IMO, I think right now until you get ahold of your anger issues you all don't need to be together. You stated you had a short fuse which you now keep under control, no you don't. Then you are punching holes in the wall etc. I also think thats why your g/f has been upset/depressed. I think she wanted out from the relationship and didn't know how to tell tell you. No one wants to be in a situation where some someone is controling or angry. I say get into some anger management before getting into any kind of relationship. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
sunseed Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Get help for your rage, and do it now. Go to therapy and commit to staying with it. Your girl may be interested in seeing you again if she can see that there's less chance of you punching walls in her presence. Just a thought: Do you think maybe she's fed up with all the fighting? Quarelling will happen, and you're right that no one's perfect, but have you asked yourself if you fight fair? Link to post Share on other sites
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