bucky10 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Hi all, When my husband has a friend over for a visit I'm not sure what to do. We live in a home that's on one level. They spend there time on the computer (which is in the eating area). I sit in the living room watching tv. I can hear everything they talk about which is normal stuff but my problem is I feel like maybe I should go sit in a bedroom to give them their space or boy time alone. My husband thinks it's fine that I stick around close by. His friends are very friendly and don't seem to mind...but maybe it's awkward for them?? I'm looking for opinions on whether to leave them alone...or just keep doing what I'm doing. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Why are you excluding yourself from your husband and his friend? I think you should hang out abit, have fun and laugh! Make them coffee, or make a snack, bring it in for them. BE part of the action, don't hide away thinking that you're a pain in the butt or they don't want you there. Your husband has even said it's fine if you're there. Is there any reason why you are feeling this way? Another thing is, when he is going to have a buddy over, why not call one of your girl friends and go out for the evening. Have fun too. Just because you're married, doesn't mean you can't have your own separate nights of spending time with friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bucky10 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 I have thought about joining in on their fun every so often, but I didn't want to intrude. The other night when his friend was over, I kept thinking that maybe I'm being rude by not going over and chatting with them. I think I have to find a balance...go out sometimes, join in sometimes...etc... Link to post Share on other sites
aleatoryd Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 You said it right there! Balance - take an interest in him and his friends but don't always be there so one one hand it's clear he has "man space" (imoprtant to us guys) and on the other hand it's made clear that they are are welcome and you are perfectly happy. The biggest problem people have is that they can intepret situations in the wrong way. The awkwardness for the friend will go away if you are friendly, chit chat but don't hang around them too much. When I go round people's house to "play computers" I feel more awkward that the girlfriend/wife of my friend is feeling left out or bored. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Your husband sounds okay with it, his friends sound okay with it, and even you actually sound okay with it ... so what's the problem? When my husband's friends come over, I do whatever I want, and walk around in my pajamas if it's too late, and watch TV and do my own stuff, and hey, I even talk to them lol I'd hate it if I had to isolate myself and waste my time in a corner. You're not part of the furniture and shouldn't put yourself in that position. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 If only all problems were so easy. You have nothing to worry about. Go over, say "Hi!" and introduce yourself. Have a little small talk, then go your own way if they're into something. The best thing would probably have his freind bring over his SO, or have one of your friends over. You could also take the opportunity to go shopping, do some reading, go to the library, have a glass or two of wine and watch a chick flick, enjoy some hobbies or gardening, etc. Basically, whatever you want! Technically, he should introduce his freinds to you and attempt to establish a comfortable rapport. You may want to ask about this if he isn't doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
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