Guest Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Hi everyone...this is my first post here..ive been reading for some time and found all the advices helpful.Well first of all me and my bf have been living together for sometime,i am 21 and he's 22. Initially things were great..he used to treat me like a princess,would do anything to make me happy and would feel really sad to see me cry.But this days he's like this total different person,would get really irritiated seeing me in tears and would tell me not to be so sensitive.Would say mean things(though no name calling)...or if im feeling a lil low.he would be like really annoyed and say.."now wads wrong?" or if angry.."wat the f*** is with u",i don remember for a long time he holding me or comforting me when i am crying or being sympathetic.I for one am a very emotional person(that was never a problem before)cos i used to feel all secure and comfortable with my feelings towards him but now its like im walking on eggshells... I just wish he would listen to me sometimes and understand me without judging or criticising me or cuddle me when im sad...its getting really frustrating keeping my feelings to myself... Btw..im not much of a vocal person..i realli can't express myself..pls help! Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Sounds emotionally abusive to me... If he isn't willing to work on this, I would strongly encourage you to reconsider the relationship. Has something changed with him recently? Lots of stress? Someone close die or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Guys have a tendancy to want to "fix it" for you. When it's an emotional issue that doesn't have an apparent solution....they're sometimes frustrated because there's no way to actively solve the problem. Unfortunately, they often allow their frustration to vent out through inconsiderate words. I think the key thing to remember is that when you're displaying alot of emotion, particularly if there's not a whole lot of provocation for it.....you're putting him into a situation in which he's likely to feel acutely inadaquate. Our men like to keep us happy....the good ones do anyway . So, when they can't do that, they feel like they've let us down. Now, he may in fact just be a total ass. We only have this one little post to go on afterall. But if he's otherwise a pretty good guy, he's probably just overwhelmed by your emotional needs. Try His Needs/Her Needs by Willard Harley. Read and discuss it together. If you two are going to make it as a couple, you'll need to address your communication issues and develop a better understanding of each other. Link to post Share on other sites
BeFree Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Guys really hate it when girls cry all the time. They don't know how to handle it and they really don't understand why we are so sensitive. In the beginning they want to impress you, so they try really hard to say the right things when we girls cry or get upset. But no one can be on their best behavior all the time. He's propbably tired of the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Lol, it's funny how we can read the same post and take it completely differently. I saw it as black and white... he used to be this great guy, now he is mean and hurtful, and this is just one example of how he is being mean... Ok, I really need to stop reading into these posts. For the OP, sorry if I jumped to conclusions. More info would be good tho! Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Guys really hate it when girls cry all the time. They don't know how to handle it and they really don't understand why we are so sensitive. In the beginning they want to impress you, so they try really hard to say the right things when we girls cry or get upset. But no one can be on their best behavior all the time. He's propbably tired of the drama. That's probably what it is. OP why are you crying so much? Link to post Share on other sites
BeFree Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 It is funny how everyone can read something totally different in a post. It's so one sided. My BF has told me I am too Sensitive, he is right. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 I think maybe you need to talk to your girlfriends more. Your boyfriend is supportive, I'm sure - But he can't "be" there for you everytime you're upset, you can't rely on him for every need. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that's what friends are for. Can I ask? What sort of things are you upset about? I'm not saying they aren't important, but if you're down and out alot of the time, he probably is just not sure how to make you feel better - And it's making him feel down. How is the rest of your relationship when life is happy? Link to post Share on other sites
LongTallSally Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 are you the type of person who gets sad a lot for sympathy? not accusing you, but it does sound like it. no one should be so sad so often. sometimes, people don't know how to get their emotions across, and they fish for reassurance by invoking sympathy-garnering tactics. then they feel loved. they keep using the tactic because it does work...until the other person gets tired of consoling you all the time. a relationship doesn't work if it seems one of the people is semi-dysfunctional. no one likes a downer. one can only take so much of being in a downer's presense before they get down too, or they run from it like hell. maybe you don't even realize you're doing this, if you are. Link to post Share on other sites
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