carmaenforcer Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I did just last night. It was my Wife's BGF's 21st B-day and after hitting up a bar at this restaurant we all like, we hit the streets with out really thinking where we were going next. It was me and my Wife and her BGF and her Boy Friend. One of the girls threw out the idea of going to this strip club, not nude because they serve alcohol, so we did. At first the girls were making fun of the first strippers because they weren't all that, the a goddess appeared and then, silence. I knew that I would probably get in trouble for staring too hard but I didn't care, I didn't verbalize any of my thoughts, I was respectful, sat at my Wife's side the whole time and it wasn't my idea to be there in the first place and so I was on a free ride. I would do the same for her if she asked although in order for the scenario to be the same me and or the other guy would have to suggest going to see half naked men. Ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 the a goddess appeared and then, silence This is why I don't like my BF going. Now your wife knows that you don't love her, you want that woman, and you think that she is ugly. You feel sorry for yourself because you are stuck with her, and whenever you have sex with her you're imagining that girl. Poor woman. SUCH a mistake to take you there, she's lost you now. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 lucky you i need to find me a woman who wil go with me to a strip club Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 lucky you i need to find me a woman who wil go with me to a strip club WHY??? Why do guys like this? Why do you get such a kick out of hurting and humiliating someone? Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Now your wife knows that you don't love her, are you serious?? just cause we enjoy a strip club doesn't mean you don't love your wife/girlfriend Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 WHY??? Why do guys like this? Why do you get such a kick out of hurting and humiliating someone? WTH is hurting and humiliating anyone? why do we like it because we do.why do females like shopping and makeup?? cause you do Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Shopping and makeup isn't cheating or making someone feel inferior. I meant to type "want". You can stil love her. Not romantically, of course, because that involves attraction. I mean, you could probably work up a hard on if you imagine real hard. But women really deserve better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Not with my H or W but with friend's family and in-laws! Not my idea. I was the single guy in the group and I walked out of the gentleman's club with more money than I walked in. I won a gift cert to come back. Yes, a guy coming out of a gentleman's club with more money than he went in with. I think I had more fun than the rest but we'll leave that for another thread. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I think the sex is amazing when you arrive home - after an evening of watching others get you hot and bothered... hubby and I used to have so much fun after an evening like that... It is just skin! Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I think the sex is amazing when you arrive home - after an evening of watching others get you hot and bothered... hubby and I used to have so much fun after an evening like that... It is just skin! I hear this all the time. To me, nothing turns me off more than knowing my SO would rather be with someone else or has to close his eyes and imagine someone else. I have a real problem with so-called "open" marriages. I think if you have an open marriage, what you have is a roommate. But I guess that could work for some people. At least in open marriages the people have enough respect to be honest about their feelings and attractions. Maybe they are more healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Shopping and makeup isn't cheating or making someone feel inferior. I meant to type "want". You can stil love her. Not romantically, of course, because that involves attraction. I mean, you could probably work up a hard on if you imagine real hard. But women really deserve better than that. are you saying looking is cheating? so if i look at another girl clothed or nude i am cheating. a strip club is just eye candy something nice to look at, like a nice bike or great rebuilt 1956 cherry red ford mustang......... Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I've never been to a strip club (as in a permanent venue). The first time that I went to a Chippendale's show, I went because I was going with other women and because I was curious. The second time I went, I was basically going to be the designated driver. The first time was more entertaining. The second time was just sleazy. And both times were Chippendale shows (just several years between). Kinda shows how the sleaze in folks' expectations is increasing, IMHO. I can understand why my guy would not want to go with me because . . . well . . . he would be seeing other guys getting naked. I wouldn't want to go with my guy because I don't want to see other women naked. But really, I don't ever plan on going again. It just isn't something that I'm interested in. I'm not into eating or drinking in a place where people are shaking their naked parts around. Who knows what the cook was doing with his/her hands before putting the buffalo wings on the plate. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 are you saying looking is cheating? so if i look at another girl clothed or nude i am cheating. I didn't say that. a strip club is just eye candy something nice to look at, like a nice bike or great rebuilt 1956 cherry red ford mustang......... No, it's not. In strip clubs, you get lap dances, where a naked woman comes and basically rubs herself all over you. Then she takes you to the VIP room and jacks you off or gives you a blow job, or has sex with you. Even if you're just in the main room, "looking", you're looking at what you'd like to have, what you wish you had. I hear all the time, let your BF go and get all excited looking at women he finds attractive, then he'll come home to you and close his eyes and pretend you are someone else and you should be so f-ing grateful that he's not at her house with her, or didn't bring her home to make you watch. If your wife or girlfriend went to a club and took off all her clothes and danced naked for another man, how would you feel about that? Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I hear this all the time. To me, nothing turns me off more than knowing my SO would rather be with someone else or has to close his eyes and imagine someone else. I have a real problem with so-called "open" marriages. I think if you have an open marriage, what you have is a roommate. But I guess that could work for some people. At least in open marriages the people have enough respect to be honest about their feelings and attractions. Maybe they are more healthy. I am not and never will be in an open marriage. I was married for 20 years and never even considered having sex with another man for the past 24 years... Do I think that people should appreciate each others' beauty for the simple fact that it is beauty? YES Do I think that it is a terrible thing to appreciate and express to another when I find them attractive? Never Am I the jealous type? Not at all Are a whole bunch of people in the world hung up on jealousy? You bet! Do I feel threatened when my husband was looking at someone attractive? Hell no! If he wasn't noticing I was elbowing him to look. IT is just looking ... I don't know why people tend to feel so threatened. It is not as though they are heading to the bathroom the moment they find someone attractive. Like I said, skin is skin - we all have it... Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 And calgal, I know that some people are very beautiful and it's ok to appreciate that. But, a strip club is different. Maybe it's different for me because my BF used to date a couple of strippers. I'm proud that you're not the jealous type, it's rooted in a terrible insecurity that eats away at me all the time, you are very lucky. I wish I could just say, hey, whatever, I don't care. I'd be much happier. For me, I don't think he would ever actually cheat on me, I just don't want him to come home and go, ugh, gross, THAT fat bitch again? Strippers are the epitome of what every man wants, they are every man's fantasy, and the reality of me is him settling. No one settles for me. I at least know I deserve better than that. So if he wants to go, that means he isn't satisfied with me. If he goes with his friends, which I'm sure eventually he will because if we get married he will have a bachelor party, I have to either walk away from someone I love or marry him knowing he has just had what he is giving up to be with me. Which makes me a loser and an albatross. See? So no, I would never go with him. I tried it once, and realized that I could never share someone I had real feelings for. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I have a group of stripper friends. Although I rarely associate with them now, being that I am sober. It makes me kind of sad to see the strippers. Mainly because I know that most of them have really s***ty reasons why they have to show themselves to strangers for money. I wouldn't want to do it. I don't judge others for doing it, but it does make me feel kinda weird for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I used to feel that way until I met my BF and started hanging around with his crowd. (They do a lot of drugs, too, he doesn't any more but is still friends with them) The strippers he knows have coke problems, but they do it because they are perfect and can make an incredible living working two or three nights a week. They all work in upscale clubs where they don't have to do anything they don't want to. And they all have very open attitudes about sex, so I know if he acted even slightly interested they'd be down his pants in a second! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I used to feel that way until I met my BF and started hanging around with his crowd. (They do a lot of drugs, too, he doesn't any more but is still friends with them) The strippers he knows have coke problems, but they do it because they are perfect and can make an incredible living working two or three nights a week. They all work in upscale clubs where they don't have to do anything they don't want to. And they all have very open attitudes about sex, so I know if he acted even slightly interested they'd be down his pants in a second! Well a lot of the girls I know act like they are perfect, unfortunately I know many of their past histories. One girl was forced by her father to act as his girlfriend/wife her entire adolescence. Others had horrible childhood, abandoned, neglect....and the drug problems are so sad. I think cokeheads are sad. (I used to BE one, though)....the desperation, the only thing they think about is getting high.... I also very closely avoided a New Year's party this past Jan. that ended up in an orgy and one of the girls getting raped by another stripper and her boyfriend. It's an ugly life underneath the surface, for career strippers. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Strippers are the epitome of what every man wants, they are every man's fantasy, and the reality of me is him settling. Not for this man. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I agree with catgirl as far as not wanting my H to go to strip clubs at all. I am a very secure person, it has nothing to do with that for me. It is more about morals and character, IMO. If my husband sees a beautiful girl on the street and looks, I couldn't care less. I notice attractive people myself. Strip clubs are different. You go into them specifically to become sexually aroused by someone who is not your partner. And if you are a religious person, THAT is cheating. I wouldn't go so far as to say it is cheating, but I believe it is taking intimacy away from a relationship. I would be disgusted if my partner went looking to be sexually aroused by someone else, then 'used' me for release. I know I am probably 'old fashioned' and will be flamed, but that is just me. And yes I know that he probably has fantasies, but there is still a clear difference, to me anyway, in innocent fantasies and going out looking for sexual arousal from strangers. And I also agree with blind otter. I have known a few stippers, and none of them were the cliched college student just trying to make a living. They had pasts that would make your heart break. Which is, of course, another reason I hate stripping. It takes advantage, and allows men to objectify, some of the most pained victims in society. I have a very hard time respecting any man who can look at a stripper as a sex object, knowing darn well she has probably been raped, molested, addicted to drugs, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 now the other question I pose is, what about watching porn? Is it cheating? Is it arousal who is not your partner? watch porn or strip club (gentleman's club/chippendale)? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I think it's alot easier for a couple to go see women strippers rather than men. My hubby and I went one time and I tell ya, that night we had some pretty explosive sex!!! I know he wouldn't be that turned on if we'd gone to see male strippers. I feel it's okay, as long as it doesn't become a habit...Kinda like porn. Too much of it could make you NEED that stuff to get you hot and horny. Once in a while is fun though! Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 lol jerbear, read the six page thread on whether porn is cheating and you'll get about 200 different answers. If you are asking me personally, I say it depends. I think it really depends on quantity. A couple times a month... I don't like it, but I can live with it. As I said on the other thread, my H and I have a no ask, no tell policy. I know he looks at it on the rare occaision, and as long as I don't know about it, I am OK. Now, if he started telling me about it, or it got to a point that he was doing it enough that I knew about it, yes, I would see it as looking outside the marriage for sexual gratification and would have a problem. Everyone has a different opinion of porn/strip clubs, etc, which is why I am a big proponent of talking about these things early in a relationship. Its not really fair to either party if the man thinks he is gonna keep up his porn viewing after marriage, and the woman is against it. If you wait til you have been together a few years, and now are talking about moving in, getting married, and this conversation comes up for the first time... bad. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I think it's alot easier for a couple to go see women strippers rather than men. My hubby and I went one time and I tell ya, that night we had some pretty explosive sex!!! I know he wouldn't be that turned on if we'd gone to see male strippers. I feel it's okay, as long as it doesn't become a habit...Kinda like porn. Too much of it could make you NEED that stuff to get you hot and horny. Once in a while is fun though! Understood about moderation. Other than perceived safety of not touching. The issue I'm bringing up is what is the difference by watching in person vs. watching it on tv? If one is ok and fine with watching it on tv, remember someone filmed it IRL. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Again, it's how often one does it. Honestly if my hubby decided to go see strippers weekly, it would bug me. Not that I would feel like he didn't love me or I've done something wrong, it would just make me think he was relying on that extra sexual tension to make sex wilder. Same would go for porn. I think it is an easy habit to fall into. The difference is stripping is LIVE and you see it for real upclose. And you feel the energy as the stripper flirts away and strips - It's more personal and real. Porn isn't. Yes, ofcourse it's been filmed, but it isn't live and you're not face to face experiencing the same thing one would get during a strip show. Link to post Share on other sites
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