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He posted my pictures


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Shocked & Lost

I just found out that my husband took some of our private photos and posted some of me on the web.

 

I am completely shocked that he would do such a thing, to me and to us. I am sad, hurt, embarrased, and mad.

 

Now for the even bigger shock... He "Forgot" the sites names that he put them on. There were only 2 sites, but I was playing around for hours and I don't remember the ones yours went on...

 

Are you kidding me??? That is the lamest crap I have ever heard...My pics are just floating out there? I went and destroyed all the others photos we had. I told him I can't and don't want to even be around him.

 

So he is staying at a friends house. I don't know what to do, I wan't to just kill him.

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I am sorry for the violation of your privacy. I am in doubt that he doesn't remember which sites he posted your pics on. Part of his enjoyment I would think is getting feedback on the pics. Either way, he did not have your permission.

 

How does this make you feel? besides Shocked & Lost.

 

Why lost? I understand the shocked part.

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Woah, how did you find out that he did it?

 

Ah, makes me feel nervous about the private pics I just sent my boy...

 

Hmm.... sounds like he has some sort of thing on the vouyer/exhibitionist spectrum....

 

Was it recently? Cuz you could go back through the computer's history.... unfortunately if anyone has downloaded them they will continue to float around, but at least maybe you could find the orginals...

 

That is really upsetting! I mean, if no one had any way of connecting the pics to me I wouldn't be so upset about them being on the internet, but the violation of trust would be really really hard for me to get over.

 

Is he sorry? Does he honestly realize it was wrong?

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Is he telling you the truth ?

 

It sounds like he may be lying to you to evoke a reaction of some sort out of you.

I mean why would he even admit to it under those circumsatnces unless he is lying about it..

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Can you go back into the computer's history and see if that site is there? Ask him to check...(Unless he has it set to a certain amount of days, or maybe the history was cleared...Anyway, just a possibility to check out.)

 

LJ, I remember that thread too!

 

Boy, I'd be so pissed off if my husband did that to me. Not sure if it's warranted to get a divorce over, but I'd definately be installing a keylogger on the computer and getting rid of any pictures perminately.

 

He needs to understand what he did was wrong and he needs to make it up to you somehow. Hopefully he's sorry and WILL make it right.

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That was very disrespectful on your h's part that was for your viewing only not to put all over the world. You should submit pics of him all over the world and see how he liked it. He knows what site they was put on he just don't want to tell you cause he knows you will have them taken off. If my s/o done that i would be very mad as well. What can you really do now? If you find the sites email the site and let them know what your h done and maybe they can be taken down. Good luck

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Doing that without your permission is a serious violation of trust and shows he doesn't have very much respect for you. I would keep him out of the house for awhile and demand counseling. You can forgive something like this, but only if he is willing to come clean and tell the truth about everything. I highly doubt he doesn't remember the websites. He's playing stupid. He had to go through the trouble of uploading the pictures. Search through the history on your browser. You should have no problem finding the sites unless he cleared the history. He should also understand that you have no reason to trust him right now until he earns your trust back. Like WWIU said, install a key logger on your computer, without his knowledge. There may be more things you'll find out that you don't know about. It's time for you to do some investigating.

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I'm sorry to hear this.

 

If you want to find out which websites he put the photos on, you may install some spy software. I think he remembers pretty well where he put them.

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How does this make you feel? besides Shocked & Lost.

Why lost? I understand the shocked part.

I feel lost because, I have always felt most secure and confident within my marriage, and my husband has been my best friend and my safe place, (if that makes sense). His action causes great doubt and worries. I also feel betrayed, disrespected, and embarrassed.

 

I found out on accident, he left one of my photos on the scanner.

He lied at first but then told me (after lots of fighting & questions).

I have gone on his computer and looked through his history, cookies, browsers, e-mail, etc. he has deleted everything. I want to threaten him to find (admit) the sites he posted them on or divorce. I'm just not sure that is a smart and healthy idea?

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I'm sorry, but if he went through ALL the trouble of scanning in those photo's then he KNOWS what site they're on. There is ALOT more to this - My gut is screaming it. IT just makes NO sense to scan in pictures to a site all of a sudden "he forgot" what was called. That's crap - You know it and he knows it. It's time for him to come 100% clean and face the consquences of his actions. He knows he f***ed up and probably is scared which is why him lying now is making it worse for you.

 

I think threatening him is wrong, but asking him what is going on inside his head may be better. Find out WHY he did it, is he unhappy in the marriage? Bored? Suggest going to marriage counselling. Don't pick a fight here, though I know you want to...Work through the problems as its' a big red flag that obviously something is wrong. Not saying YOU have done anything wrong, but inside him, something isn't right.

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If you can't make any headway with him.. ( he sounds like a jerk )

Then I would suggest scanning in a pick of him naked grabbing his pecker and post it on a gay site..using his email of course..

then tell him about it...

 

Once he starts getting hit on by gay guys he will ask you to take it down.. you say no until yours are gone..

 

an Eye For An Eye might be in order here..

 

Then get him into marriage counseling

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faithfulgirlie

Girl, you need to wake up and call the cops. I don't even know why you're letting him stay at a friends house. He should be in jail, and besides if you call the cops they might be able to track down all his sites and get ride of the pix.

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That's abit of an overreaction, faithfulgirlie. Funny, but still, it would never happen. Cops are NOT going to arrest a husband who posts afew nude pictures of his wife online. Now, if it was his child, or any little kid, that is a whole different story! He'd be arrested on the spot asap!!

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Seems to me that he won't tell you where they are so he has a chance to go in and delete the really bad ones, or delete any comments he or someone else may have made. By making him stay at a friends house, you've made it completely easy for him to do. My guess is that he'll "confess" and show you in a couple of days, and they will probably only consist of the one you found and maybe one or two more. He will have had time to make all the others disappear.

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Nah, two wrongs don't make a right...As tempting as that may be, to post some of him online, it just isn't worth it...

 

Install a keylogger on his computer so you can track what he does online 24/7.

 

And also get yourselves into marriage counselling fast.

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I think this is a bit like trying to gather all of the feathers from a broken pillow. It aint gonna happen.

 

If he put those pics on a website, it was either because it got him a membership or for feedback. All members can download them. If he put them on a peer to peer downloading site (ie Kazaa), they are all over the world. For your own satisfaction you may want to find what sites he may have gone to. He doesn't want to say because then you would know what kind of sites he has been going to.

 

What has to be dealt with now is the breaking of trust and the betrayal. The pics are history. Let's hope that your face is not showing for easy identification. Most likely they will not come back to haunt you.

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Omg and I was considering letting my hubby take a few sexy pics of me for his own use should he ever decide to release himself without my assistance. Scrap that idea. Even tho he's never on the computer how would one go about safeguarding pics like that so they wouldn't get into the hands of anyone else?

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...how would one go about safeguarding pics like that so they wouldn't get into the hands of anyone else?

 

One cannot.

 

Yes, hello everyone. I'm new.

 

By allowing a person to take explicit photos of oneself, one is asking for such a thing to possibly happen. Deal with this man as you wish; try to get law enforcement involved if you so desire. Above all, let this be a lesson to yourself for the future.

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It's worth noting that many sites will require you to login/register before you can upload a photo. Therefore, it's likely he'll have had to register using an email address, and therefore, they are likely to spam him, or contact him if someone leaves a comment etc. (Like Hot or Not).

 

Therefore, get a keylogger, get his email accounts and passwords, and check every day, a couple of times a day for responses, or emails from sites like this.

 

BTW - It's disgusting that your own HUSBAND could break your trust like this. What an idiot.

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One cannot.

 

Yes, hello everyone. I'm new.

 

By allowing a person to take explicit photos of oneself, one is asking for such a thing to possibly happen. Deal with this man as you wish; try to get law enforcement involved if you so desire. Above all, let this be a lesson to yourself for the future.

 

A lesson to not share private photography with your own HUSBAND? Surely one must place trust in one's husband that they would not do something like this. It's something many couples do, and should be able to do in a trusting relationship.

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I do agree with little kitty that just because bad thing happens to some people in a certain situation doesn't mean it should keep other people from doing it out of fear if they sincerely feel comfortable in their own situation. There is always a risk when you make yourself vulnerable to someone else, but if you never feel like you can really trust your SO then that is sad :( I mean, don't be stupid in situations where there are obvious ways to protect yourself, but just because some people will take advantage of nude photos, don't let it deter you if it is something you want to do and you feel you have that level of trust in your relationship. It would be like refusing to get married because some husbands murder their wives...

 

Just make sure you have good rules and a safe place to keep them. My personal rules are: don't even let anyone else see them (which obviously covers don't put them on the web), keep them in a computer file with a password that only we know (so someone can't accidentally find them,) don't make copies, and if we ever break up they are to be deleted immediately.

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Just make sure you have good rules and a safe place to keep them. My personal rules are: don't even let anyone else see them (which obviously covers don't put them on the web), keep them in a computer file with a password that only we know (so someone can't accidentally find them,) don't make copies, and if we ever break up they are to be deleted immediately.

 

I had those rules with an ex. He made copies unbeknowst to me and when we broke up he tried to blackmail me by threatening to send the pictures to my PARENTS.

 

I wouldn't ever do it again. If I did, I would keep everything myself and he would have to ASK ME to see them.

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What disturbs me here is not that your husband uploaded the pics, but that he appears to have an astonishingly convenient case of amnesia. Pardon my candor, but I don't think that if he was posting these pics to a simple site lauding the praises of one's wife he would be so secretive about it. Barring some profound drug usage or severe mental impairment claiming that he 'forgot' where he uploaded these pictures is not consistent with the act itself.

 

Has he talked about fantasies involving other people, especially sexual activity that is highly risky and leaves you uncomfortable? I might be totally off base here, and I tend to be a tad bit paranoid, but I would be highly concerned at this point were I you. Your husband owes it to you to come completely clean about the whole thing and you have every right to demand this candor.

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