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If talking doesn't work what does?


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Old 13th February 2006, 2:27 PM   #1
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If talking doesn't work what does?

I keep trying to talk to him but I'm not getting through. He treats me like a child, he tells me how to spend my money even after requesting seperate accounts. He is always questioning me about silly things like I'm not smart enough to handle things on my own, he is very moody and sometimes goes days without speaking to me...

When I do try to talk to him he gets angry, twists my words and tells me to stop making him feel guilty, stop throwing things in his face, whatever... I've tried using examples... I've tried spelling out exactly what I need for him to do, I'm at my wits end...

I know he loves me, and I adore him most of the time... he can be terribly sweet... so what to do when the bad times come? Do I just shut up and ingnore it knowing it will pass? Do I keep talking, just find a new way?

If talking doesn't work what does???
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Old 13th February 2006, 2:37 PM   #2
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Counseling. Period.
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Old 13th February 2006, 3:54 PM   #3
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Are you talking to him about it as these behaviors happen or do you let it build up over time and then have one big talk?
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Old 13th February 2006, 3:57 PM   #4
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I always advise talking....

Counselling is another form of talking, helps to get a third party's perspective/assistance.

If talking doesn't work.....walking is all that is left.
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Old 18th February 2006, 9:54 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by witabix
If talking doesn't work.....walking is all that is left.
I've tried to talk to my wife, and in some ways, I think it's making things worse. I've been thinking more and more about separation.
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Old 18th February 2006, 10:07 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by travellingman
I've tried to talk to my wife, and in some ways, I think it's making things worse. I've been thinking more and more about separation.
In an odd way, it does sometimes make it worse.

You talk and explain what it is you are not happy about. They listen and say ok, I hear and understand you.

Then nothing changes.

You give it time, and still nothing changes.

You talk more, and you are back into the waiting.

Eventually if nothing is happening, ie the situation, whatever it is remains unchanged there is little point in going on.

Either you accept the situation or move on.

It takes a little courage to stand up and say, enough, I am not here anymore.

You do your own thing, I'm out of here.
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Old 18th February 2006, 11:26 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by witabix
Either you accept the situation or move on.
You just made more sense than any of the psychobabble I've read from "experts". I think this might be a lost cause, but I have to think about what's best for my daughter.
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