LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships

having a bad night. . .


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13th February 2006, 1:38 AM   #1
Established Member
 
silktricks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In my "happy place"
Posts: 3,093
having a bad night. . .

Most of the time I'm if not OK at least mostly past the pain from my H's EA. Tongiht is bad one though. I lay in bed listening to him breath, and wonder how we went so wrong for aawhile. He's the love of my life, but for awhile I didn't want to be around him, the pain was so bad. I used to lie in bed and think of suicide. Tonight I'm not thinking of death, but I'm so incredibly sad. I don't want to hurt anymore, and I don't want him to hurt anymore either. Why oh why can't I get past it and stay past it? He stopped it months before he even told me about it.

He never brings it up, and when I do he cries and cries that he hurt me so bad. He's a really good person and so am I, but things got so bad for awhile. We didn't treat each other right, and I know I'm jst as much to blame as he for the problems, but that doesn't help me through my pain.
__________________
Happiness is contagious.
silktricks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th February 2006, 2:01 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Presario's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by silktricks
I don't want to hurt anymore, and I don't want him to hurt anymore either. Why oh why can't I get past it and stay past it?
I'm sorry for your bad time. I understand you a bit. Yesterday I started an argument with my wife. Most of the time it's about sex. I keep complaining that I want more. I feel sorry for her and us, but when I have a bad day I just somehow pick a fight.

This bad mood will pass.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silktricks
He stopped it months before he even told me about it.
I think you should be happy that your H told you the truth. He must be a good guy after all. I read on LS that most people just hide, hide, hide.

Take care!
Presario is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th February 2006, 8:11 AM   #3
Established Member
 
silktricks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In my "happy place"
Posts: 3,093
Quote:
Originally Posted by Presario
I think you should be happy that your H told you the truth. He must be a good guy after all. I read on LS that most people just hide, hide, hide.
He is a good guy, but still he hides stuff. I guess everyone does.
silktricks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th February 2006, 2:08 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: South of sanity
Posts: 681
Not to minimize your pain, Silk, but I actually envy you. Five weeks ago I found out my husband has been having a 10 year love affair with a woman who was a friend of ours / who works in his building. I would give anything to have had it be an EA, or even just a 2-year love affair. We are trying to work things out but it may not be possible.

I find that there are some good days and some bad days. Mostly the latter. I don't have a lot of control over good vs. bad and you may not either. Try to read books about marriage and affairs. That's helping me sort it out to some degree.

This weekend my husband had to leave town. It was really good to be apart from him. Unfortunately, an actual separation is not an option for us b/c of all the kids involved. We are having trouble just keeping ourselves together, so it was out of the question to try to explain this to our kids, then have him move out.
Chump64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th February 2006, 12:10 PM   #5
Guest wildchilde
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
it's not your fault

Some of the pain will subside when you realize that what he did is not your fault. It took me five years the first time to realize that they made the decision to do what they did. Yes, it does hit us (the one at home) very hard and one of the things we feel is guilt...what could i have done, what did i do? we feel like we did something to provoke or that if we had done something differently thay it would not have happened. Well it probably would have cause we most of the time don't do anything, it just happens on their selfish side of their world. Just remember it's not your fault and once over self guilt it gets alot easier to deal with or it did for me. By the way....going through this all again....i'm trying to remember this myself.
  Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Saw him last night.. lela1980 In Search Of... 29 4th March 2006 6:02 AM
Night out with Ex's Best Friend f/u to "Night out with the Ex" blackendangel13 Second Chances 9 28th July 2005 1:59 PM
Having a bad night pippen_2k Coping 4 12th March 2005 11:54 PM
what a night Babyribs Dating 5 26th August 2004 11:38 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:37 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.