Jump to content

Finally, a little headway.


Recommended Posts

I'll tell you something. The different way people think sometimes and the mess it causes can be amazing. I think it's because we innately expect others to think similar to the way we do.

 

I say this because I finally made a little headway in this toxic argument with my wife. I finally get some information that makes sense. I don't think she understands me at all though. The bottom line of this argument has to do with primarily my ex-wife and son and the way I deal with them. My ex-wife in particular.

 

I explained some of the events in previous posts, so I'll be brief. My ex went lawsuit happy about the time I moved in with my wife. It started with a custody suit that she won. She's now trying to get a defamation settlement because my wife posted and vented on the i-net. The posts were anonymous and didn't mention any names. Unfortunately, the story and the IP address could be tracked back to the source. Again, unfortunately, she made the posts at work. This made for an easy target. My wife was also pregnant at the time this started.

 

What this means is that my ex tried to get some easy money, get my wife fired, and give her stress during pregnancy all in one fell swoop. Understandably, she has endless loathing and hatred for my ex. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with my ex.

 

Now, I'm not one to waste emotion on someone I'd just as soon not know. I thought I was dealing appropriately with her in a pseudo-pleasant businesslike manner and making coversations as short as possible. My lack of animosity in dealing with this #$%^@ that has made my life very difficult infuriates and hurts my wife to no end.

 

Some misconceptions we apparently both had were that I believed she wants to limit my son coming over. Her misconception was that I was backing up my ex wife, or that I didn't care and have no loyalty to my wife.

 

 

Let this be a lesson to us folks. Your ex "CAN" seriously interfere with your life if there are kids involved.

 

 

Now of course, how to deal with it? That's a different story. Put the kibosh on my sons antagonizing her is a start. How to handle things on the phone with his mother? I'm going to have to do something. I couldn't tell you what though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm curious as to why your current wife and your ex are so antagonistic toward one another. What was the original catalyst for this? Were you still in a relationship with your ex when you began your current relationship?:confused:

 

Whatever the situation was....your kids seem to be paying the price for it, your 13-year old in particular.

 

Is there any way to resolve the original conflict between the adults?:confused:

Link to post
Share on other sites

What an awful situation and I feel for all of you, most of all your son who is so innocent in his mother's games to try and mess you and your current wife up!

 

Honestly, your exwife seems to have it in for your new wife and she (the ex) has to shut up, grow up and accept that LIFE HAS MOVED ON! She has two choices here...One - let things continue as they are, making her feel more pissed off and out for revenge...And be miserable, so caught up in YOU and your wife. Or two - She can let go, move on and be happy. Be a mature adult, and realize what she is doing is serving NO GOOD PURPOSE and the worst of it will affect your child.

 

You have to be the one who stays calm, cool and collected. Both you and your wife. DO NOT LET THE EX know that what she says/does bothers you both. Rise above it and know that handling it without emotional reaction is the best way.

 

Good luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I get the feeling my ex didn't really want to break up deep down. We dated a couple times after the divorce for short periods. She was never brave enough to deal with the repercussions of infidelity, so it never lasted. I think she felt I was always an option though, or at least someone to call for help, support, etc. Once I got remarried, things changed. I wanted some support money. I was moving 30 miles away to be closer to work and start a life with my new wife.

 

I don't know. I could be way off, but animosity between current wives and ex's seems to be pretty common.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...