Thinkalot Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 My husband and I are experiencing that lovely feeling now. That almost joyful rediscovering of each other after time apart. Even though we havent been physically apart, but we have been emotionally. Those of you who know me, know we have a volatile relationship, which has been slowly calming, and are working on improving our communication etc. HOwever it has seemed, that the continued small fights and nagging and nitpicking have been slowly eroding our closeness and connection...causing each of us to fall a bit out of love with the other. There has been a distance between us. We've been cruising, but without passion, much lovemaking or real emotional closeness...both of us unfulfilled, despite the fact that on the surface things seemed fine. Both sometimes wondering if we'd made a mistake. Both struggling just to not argue with the other, all the while feeling more inclined to snap, due to the lack of closeness. A vicious cycle therefore. Last week things came to a head, after we'd shared a nice dinner out and felt quite close...we had an argument on the way home over something small. My husband lost it and his frustration and dissapointments came bubbling out...and then so did mine. He actually said he felt like he could walk away from us, and though he'd be sad, he'd be OK because he just wanted a peaceful life and because we had been so distant. I admitted I had imagined a life without him in it too, although i'd be devastated if our marriage were to end (we've been living together 4.5 yrs, but married only 9 months). All of the sudden, with all this brutal honesty (we'd talked before of course, but not with such honesty and without openly discussing the scary fact that our marriage might not last unless we try harder and make changes etc), came some emotional reconnection. A renewal of passion and that "in love" feeling. As though glimpsing all that we had to lose, made us value it all the more again. It's like I have my real husband back and he has his real wife back. And it feels good. I wish I could bottle this and learn how to keep it this way! lol..but I know you have to just keep working at it. Just wanted to share. I suppose some of you can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I can relate, Thinkalot. I remember those kinds of cycles with my ex. They were certainly very nice, but earning the high points was never very pleasant. I hope that you DO find a way to stay "high" like this. I'm afraid that you won't have the highs without the lows however. Hang in there and keep trying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 not anymore Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 He actually said he felt like he could walk away from us, and though he'd be sad, he'd be OK because he just wanted a peaceful life and because we had been so distant. I admitted I had imagined a life without him in it too... This part really got my attention. I remember exactly those feelings he's expressing. I remember thinking I'd be ok with it if we broke up. I remember thinking that the peace would be so nice and that someone else wouldn't hassle me so much. But I admit I was mostly fantasizing about what a decent relationship would be like, because I haven't had one for a while. I think you should enjoy the good times and do what you can to make them last. And you'll make me happy by proving you can make it last. I'm cheering for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts