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The best way for men to save a marriage


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The best for a man to get his wife to care again is to never beg and never cry. He needs to always show her that he can be happy without her and that he will get on with his life. Once a woman sees that a man can live a happy life without her her respect for him will increase and respect is the most important thing in a relationship. If she doesn't respect you it is over and women do not respect a crying puppy. Trust me it worked for me. If I wanted my ex wife back she was putty in my hands but it was over.

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Well, I guess I see your point but whether I agree that the BEST way to save a marriage is for the husband to never beg and cry is another story...no, the BEST way for a husband to save a marriage is to LISTEN to his wife. To really listen to what her needs are...just as SHE should listen to her husband. But don't just listen...take heed and ACT. Make changes. Meet each other in the middle. Each person should give to the other. Do it when you don't want to and then it will really mean something.

 

I guess my point here is that I can think of a zillion other things more important in saving a marriage than "don't beg or cry." If it gets to THAT point, it's probably too late anyway. See what I mean?

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How are you measuring your "success"?

 

After my divorce I was very successful in my career and made a ton of money with stocks. I was living my life to it's fullest and all of sudden the woman who cheated because she felt trapped was now begging me to take her back. She wanted the life I was living and was attracted to what I had become.

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Where is the giant yawning smiley when I need him??

 

All I will say is this- :rolleyes: and :sick: .

 

The way to save a marriage is to never let it get in trouble in the first place. Communication and meeting each others needs. On both sides of the fence.

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:laugh: :laugh: Funny Woggle......VERY funny!!:lmao:

 

<WHAT? He's not joking.......Oh man....be serious.......>

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The best for a man to get his wife to care again is to never beg and never cry. He needs to always show her that he can be happy without her and that he will get on with his life. Once a woman sees that a man can live a happy life without her her respect for him will increase and respect is the most important thing in a relationship. If she doesn't respect you it is over and women do not respect a crying puppy. Trust me it worked for me. If I wanted my ex wife back she was putty in my hands but it was over.

 

 

Y'all probably think this is BS bravado, but it's not. Confidence is one of the main traits women find attractive. Acting like this radiates it like a furnace! There is no argument that will convince me otherwise on this opinion. I've lived both sides and know what works. Nobody is saying that this is the only thing to do. It's just one of the things men can do to make themselves more attractive.

 

Men are being goaded into believing that women want a sensitive man that is in touch with his emotions. To most men, they think this means opening up and confiding in fears and hurts, crying, etc. The simple fact of the matter is that although women may feel sympathy and empathy for this kind of behavior, they will not find it sexually appealling at all. Their interest in men like this will invariably wane over time.

 

Guys, you don't want to stimulate women's maternal instincts for you. You want to stimulate........."other"............instincts. If you know what I mean. ;)

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Y'all probably think this is BS bravado, but it's not. Confidence is one of the main traits women find attractive. Acting like this radiates it like a furnace! There is no argument that will convince me otherwise on this opinion. I've lived both sides and know what works. Nobody is saying that this is the only thing to do. It's just one of the things men can do to make themselves more attractive.

 

Men are being goaded into believing that women want a sensitive man that is in touch with his emotions. To most men, they think this means opening up and confiding in fears and hurts, crying, etc. The simple fact of the matter is that although women may feel sympathy and empathy for this kind of behavior, they will not find it sexually appealling at all. Their interest in men like this will invariably wane over time.

 

Guys, you don't want to stimulate women's maternal instincts for you. You want to stimulate........."other"............instincts. If you know what I mean. ;)

 

It's not BS. I mean it and I live it. It has worked wonders for me.

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portableversion

interesting.

 

at wikipedia dot org under a search for 'divorce' , researchers did a study of divorce in the UK. 70% of petitioners were women, and the most common reason for the divorce was 'emotional unfulfillment'. look it up.

 

confidence does not mean cold and uncaring. OR does it?

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After my divorce I was very successful in my career and made a ton of money with stocks. I was living my life to it's fullest and all of sudden the woman who cheated because she felt trapped was now begging me to take her back. She wanted the life I was living and was attracted to what I had become.

 

What this tells me is that you were the opposite before your divorce. So she may have been living with a shell of a man who only took up space. She found you attractive after you started doing something.

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interesting.

 

at wikipedia dot org under a search for 'divorce' , researchers did a study of divorce in the UK. 70% of petitioners were women, and the most common reason for the divorce was 'emotional unfulfillment'. look it up.

 

confidence does not mean cold and uncaring. OR does it?

 

No, no, no, no! What's this got to do with the price of tea in China? Cold and uncaring isn't what we're getting at here. Nobody said anything about cold and uncaring. Or torture, or beating, or murder, or rape either. Emotional fulfillment doesn't mean breaking down like an old Ford pickup either you know. What you want is to seem perfectly capable of carrying on and starting to date again if your wife/GF want's to leave you or stray. You need to seem perfectly willing and capable of taking care of yourself and leave should the need arise. You want to keep thier interest on you up, and their interests in other men down, not hurt them. What you don't want is to shed your gender role and become a whining sniveling little maggot who crawls on his belly. A pet who licks boots for attention. A wailing Nancy who needs to be dressed in skirts. Though you are well deserving of the pity you'll recieve while acting like this, it's not the kind of attention you want from your mate or potential mate.

 

 

Woggle, BTW. Your ex only had a momentary interest in you when you changed behavior. She only wondered why you weren't groveling anymore. You piqued her interest by pricking her ego. As soon as you decided to pursue, it probably would have gone downhill quickly, again.

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Now let's see. Who should we believe when it comes to advice on marriages and 'how to save them'? People like Willard Harley and John Gottman with professional degrees, who have worked in marriage counselling, and who have a long track record of helping couples have successful marriages or several bitter, jaded divorces on a love advice board who remain unmarried? Hmm. That's a tough one. :rolleyes::lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

What a joke.

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I agree - these posts and threads are getting mightily old.

 

I dunno... I *thought* Woggle was doing better now that he found a *good* woman but it seems quite obvious that the anger and resentment are still there. Sorta like he shined himself up a bit but now he's becoming tarnished again.

 

Guess the *honeymoon phase* is over...

You've got to keep up SmoochieFace, she's not a good woman, he just hates her a lot less than all other women.
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SmoochieFace
You've got to keep up SmoochieFace, she's not a good woman, he just hates her a lot less than all other women.

 

Ah, I see...

 

Maybe, just MAYBE... Woggle reeeaaallly just hates himself. Someone with all that anger and resentment wouldn't come across as an individual who truly likes himself, right? :confused:

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portableversion

what are our gender roles? Men be the big bad daddy protector philanderer and women be the sniveling little maggots you seem to detest so much??

 

You guys are clueless. Please stay single and unattached. NOt that it would be hard for you to do so. PLEASE. AND get a vasectomy while you're at it.

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portableversion

because when i discussed the problems i had with our relationship, he copped that 'confident' attitude you extol.

 

I figured that if I was so replaceable, then he really didn't care about me, so i broke up with him. When he called me two days later wanting me back, it was too late. THe damage was done.

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what are our gender roles? Men be the big bad daddy protector philanderer and women be the sniveling little maggots you seem to detest so much??

 

You guys are clueless. Please stay single and unattached. NOt that it would be hard for you to do so. PLEASE. AND get a vasectomy while you're at it.

 

"Philanderer? Women be the sniveling little maggots you seem to detest so much??"

 

That's sure not what I said, that's what you said. Being confident doesn't give you leave to be arrogant or an a**h***, just happy and content.

 

As far as marriage and vasectomies go. I'm long happily remarried with a beautiful baby. My wife has a great job, as do I, and we do well.

 

Gender roles are real, so deal with it. If they weren't, men could have babies too. Women and men are physically different, like different things, act differently, and have different average potentials that are gender based.

 

As far as clueless goes, the proof is in the pudding. When I first adopted a different attitude, my dating life improved dramatically. Though it took practice, I finally started getting the hang of it. Doc Love showed me the light and I've been brighter for it ever since.

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because when i discussed the problems i had with our relationship, he copped that 'confident' attitude you extol.

 

I figured that if I was so replaceable, then he really didn't care about me, so i broke up with him. When he called me two days later wanting me back, it was too late. THe damage was done.

 

 

Then he certainly didn't know what the hell he was doing. For one, that he cared about you should have been made clear. He should also have been willing to discuss the relationship problems you were having. For two, copping a hostile attitude complete with threats has nothing to do with being confident, just being angry and acting a jerk. For three, if you really wanted out, he should have let you go with his blessing and got on with his life and let you get on with yours. It was over right then. You two didn't work and that should have been accepted. The fact that he called you two days later and wanted you back is completely opposite to being cool and confident. Quite to the contrary, he was acting the whipped dog who want's back in. Yeah, he gives me the shivers all right. :rolleyes:

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When I first adopted a different attitude, my dating life improved dramatically.

 

Something that should be taken into consideration BEFORE a marriage/relationship goes down the toilet . . .

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SmoochieFace
Women and men are physically different, like different things, act differently, and have different average potentials that are gender based.

 

The first part I agree with - yep, men and women ARE different physically! Wow! Absolutely amazing! :rolleyes:

 

As far as the other three things... well, you have some explaining to do. You seem to be generalising a bit too much.

 

 

Doc Love showed me the light and I've been brighter for it ever since.

 

Doc Love... should've known. :p

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Something that should be taken into consideration BEFORE a marriage/relatiopnship goes down the toilet . . .

 

 

Yes, Isn't that what I'm saying? :confused:

 

Maybe I'm missing something here. Are you arguing my POV, agreeing with it, or somewhere in between?

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The first part I agree with - yep, men and women ARE different physically! Wow! Absolutely amazing! :rolleyes:

 

As far as the other three things... well, you have some explaining to do. You seem to be generalising a bit too much.

 

 

 

 

Doc Love... should've known. :p

 

You're truly amazed by that revelation are you? I would have thought to have more confidence in our educational system to at least have provided you with that much at a younger age. Either that or it's sarcasm I guess. I thought I might have caught a whiff of it.

 

Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength.

- Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

 

Anyhow, I hold that, on average, my generalized statement is true. Men tend to live shorter than women on average, men tend to be stronger and taller than women on average. I could go on and on. Whether it be physical, instinctual, or social factors that cause these differences or whether it could be compensated for by changing things is irrelavent. What is right now, is what is right now. You can be idealistic, or work with the tools you're given.

 

 

 

 

 

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The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.

- Aristotle

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SmoochieFace
You're truly amazed by that revelation are you? I would have thought to have more confidence in our educational system to at least have provided you with that much at a younger age. Either that or it's sarcasm I guess. I thought I might have caught a whiff of it.

 

Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength.

- Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

 

Anyhow, I hold that, on average, my generalized statement is true. Men tend to live shorter than women on average, men tend to be stronger and taller than women on average. I could go on and on. Whether it be physical, instinctual, or social factors that cause these differences or whether it could be compensated for by changing things is irrelavent. What is right now, is what is right now. You can be idealistic, or work with the tools you're given.

 

 

 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.

- Aristotle

 

Well, the *smilie* with the blinking eyes indicates sarcasm. :)

 

The Hoffer quote does not apply here but thanks for sharing it. :p

 

The last part is not explaining anything. You mentioned only two *physical* differences and conveniently left out the others. I suppose you are one of those guys who think that all men like the same things (such as beer, fast cars, sports, loud music, etc.) and that all women like the same things (such as shopping, cooking, crafts, soap operas, etc.), right?

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