JadeStar Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Ok quick question to see if others think theres more going on. I have a friend who has been my friend since we were 15 we are both now 35. I love her dearly but have noticed some odd things over the past few months. Shes married and has been for about 3 years now. She works at a hair salon and she does my hair. She has a male friend that also works at the salon as well. He is not married, and he is in his 50's. Last year he had a heart attack. She was there for him. Which is great don't get me wrong. His mother came to visit him and his brother. Some of the other ladies that work at the salon came to visit him too. My friend stayed with him through it, was good to him, brought him things etc. She even made the comment at the time that she had been at the hosiptal so much, her husband might start to wonder if she was having an affair. (She said this joking). I do think that because she was there for him maybe it brought them closer and theres nothing wrong with that. However, things I have noticed since that happened, have been things that she didn't do before. One was one day when I went to get my hair done, she was in the side room where they eat, and was standing inbetween his legs doing his hair while he was having lunch. Guess theres nothing wrong with that, just looks to me like she could have done his hair out where everyone else has theirs done. The other thing was they never parked their cars beside each other, now over the past few months their cars sit side by side. He didn't move his but she moved hers to where his is. They talk on the phone right much, and today when I was at wal-mart, I guess this is what struck me as odd more than anything. I was coming down the aisle where the shampoo is etc, and I happned to look up and they were both shopping together, and they were right infront of the femine hygeine products. I was behind them with my buggy and noticed right under the shelf of condoms, she was reaching for some monistat. Well you ladies know what that can be for. She had some chips and a drink in the buggy and he had 2 shirts, and they weren't for her husband cuz hes a large man. Anyway they turned around and saw me standing there. When she did see me she immdetailty put back the monistat. Could be she was embarrasssed, but I guess not to embarrassed being that she had it in her hand with him right there.I'm a female, and I understand these things, anyway She was like, "hey whats up?" We all talked and I played it off like it was no big deal they were out shopping etc. And I guess if they are just friends its maybe not a big deal to some people. However when they both turned around and saw me they looked like a deer caught in headlights. Could be it just startled them that I was standing there, I don't know. Her husband may very well know they were out shopping together etc, I don't know that either. I would think though that even if I had a male friend, that I wouldn't really want to be shopping with him over in the yeast infection cream section, but thats just me. I'm not saying anything is going on with them other than just friends, but its just weird to me because I guess some things I see going on may be things I wouldn't do being that I'm married. I guess my concern is, that lets say her husband doesn't know they have been spending time together, they may run into someone that knows them from them doing their hair, and maybe has seen them together out before and word may get back to her husband. I'm not going to say nothing cuz its none of my business, and I have no facts on things no way, other than the fact that some things that have been going on are kind of odd. I guess my question is, do others think this is odd behavior? Or is it ok that shes married, hes not, they talk alot on the phone, park their cars together and go shopping? Sorry so long. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I guess my question is, do others think this is odd behavior? Or is it ok that shes married, hes not, they talk alot on the phone, park their cars together and go shopping? Sorry so long. The majority of men who work in hair salons are gay...not that there is anything wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JadeStar Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 Alpha, that is true. And yes he very well could be. I have asked her before along time ago if he was, and she said she didn't know. I knew guys in school that were gay and had more female friends than male friends, maybe cuz they could relate to females better. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that at all and that may be the case with him. Maybe she knows he is and her husband does too and her husband is ok with it cuz he feels theres no threat there because of it. I guess that explains the fact its ok for her to feel comfortable picking up some monistat with him right there, but yet putting it back when she saw me. And also starting to park beside each other. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Alpha, that is true. And yes he very well could be. Maybe your friend is trying to "convert" him back to heterosexuality Link to post Share on other sites
Author JadeStar Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 Could be, I know theres never been any mention of him being married, or having ever dated, be it man or woman. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Jade , I find it odd that she would throw the monistat down as soon as she seen you.. u are a female she should be embarrassed by doing that around her guy friend not you..... Do you think her h actually knows she is out with this guy she works with ? Do you think it is possible she is having a affair with this guy? Maybe she just likes to shop with him and her h don't like to.. I know my h hates to go shopping unless it benefits him lol!! I would keep your eyes and open .. Good luck :: Link to post Share on other sites
li'l bunny Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 If you have been friends for so long could you not ask her? I know if it was my friend I would be honest with her and say...hey, I know you quite well but others who don't could think you're having an affair. Or say something like 'whatever his name is - doesn't look effeminate is he actually Gay?' Maybe that would be a little stereotypical, I don't know if she would find it insulting but you know what I'm trying to say. There's lots of ways that friends can say things to one another. Or you could ask her straight out...'you look like you're together, are you?' Link to post Share on other sites
Author JadeStar Posted September 20, 2005 Author Share Posted September 20, 2005 Hey thanks for the replies. lil bunny I see what you're saying about maybe asking her, but even though we have been friends for so long I wouldn't feel comfortable asking her about it really. Shes a very private person, theres never been anything that shes ever brought up on her own as far as talking about stuff. I have asked her things in the past and she just doesn't like to talk about her personal life. I have friends that I have known less time than this friend and feel more comfortable asking them things than I do her. I probably wont ask her anything but will still be here for her if something is up for sure. Right now I'm leaning more towards the fact of what Alpha said, and its probably that her male friend can relate more to females etc. However, I have a feeling if the shoe was on the other foot and her husband had a female friend, gay or not gay, and he hung out with her alot etc, I doubt she would like it to good. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 No married women should be hanging out with no man whether they are gay or not!!! Does her h know? Maybe that is why she is startled by you being there when she turned around!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzard Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I am married and have plenty of male friends. Some married, some engaged, some living with a gf, some dating and some just gay! I enjoy being friends with males since they are more straight forward, don't gossip as much and would never screw my husband behind my back. I have plenty of female friends also. But saying a married woman doesnt need any male friends is insane. People are people. Marriage doesn't mean you never get to socialize ever again. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 There is a diffference between having male friends and going to Kmart and going down the femine aisle and picking out feminie hygiene products ... I find that very odd!! I'm married and I wouldn't want my H to be hanging out with other women friends or not !! I guess to each's own but i don't think it is appropriate unless you aren't married .. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Yeh that was my first reaction too: the guy must be gay anyway, and they're hanging out and shopping together like girlfriends. Ew. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 One of my neighbours husband shops with me alot. He doesn't know how to drive (yeah I know, he's an odd duck) so when I go grocery shopping he always tags along. I like the company as I don't like going on my own at times and he's absolutely hilarious so it makes the whole shopping experience alot of fun! And he also shops with my husband...Or whoever else he's friendly with on the street who happens to be heading out - The offer is there to let him tag along. Unless you've picked up on a vibe between them, just quietly watch them and see what little things you notice. Are they affectionate with eachother? Flirty, or are they just very close friends...Which could mean they're attached to one another in not a sexual way. I think you should just ask if her husband is aware of all the time they spend together. Don't accuse her or sound standoffish, just down play it like no big deal...See what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts