tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 This is a spin-off from a thread about a woman not wanting to change her name and it left me wondering: What do men get by being married these days? In the past, the man bought the woman an engagement ring, they got married, the woman took the man's name, bore and raised his children and cleaned his home. The man worked and provided for the family. Now, to make this clear, I'm NOT saying that women shouldn't be allowed to work or should be stuck at home barefoot and pregnant or anything like that. This isn't an attempt to bash women or bash marriage or anything like that. But it seems like these days, men have less and less reasons to get married. The number of women who won't take the man's last name is on the rise. More women are working. Far fewer women cook and clean. It can even be seen on TV when standup comedians or people on talk shows joke about how women don't cook or clean and you can hear all the women in the audience go nuts with applause and laughter. The man still buys the engagement ring. And should anything happen to break up the marriage, the women is most likely going to profit the most regardless of the reason for the break up. A man cheats and he's a pig. A woman cheats and it's because the man wasn't meeting her needs. There are obvious benefits for women to get married. But in all seriousness, what benefit is there for men?? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 We have less money .. wait .. is that a benefit ? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 But in all seriousness, what benefit is there for men?? there really aren't any TANBARK....unless you want to have children and raise them in a "proper" environment. I know this 35 year old chick who is a professional who could not find a dude to marry her (she's sorta homely lookin') so she got artifically inseminated and now has a 6 month baby to call her own. I vow I will never get married again cause I am past the age to have kids and I really don't want the hassle. I love my independence and f*** if I'm gonna give it up! Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Well tanbark, you've asked the a question that can go for men and woman both. What is the benefit in getting married period? It's the pretty picture, of having someone by your side to love and to cherish. Someone to make yours and you hers/his. The satisfaction of knowing your partner took your hand and vowed to be with you through thick and thin. A friend and lover for life! Marriage was over rated in the past and now I feel it's underrated. It doesn't seem to have the same meaning as before, LOVE. Now it's a responsibility and a burden, which I don't see why if you pick the right person it should be a burden. The thing is I think people are rushing to get married instead of waiting and making sure 100% that this is the person he/she wants to spend the rest of your life with. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium It's the pretty picture, of having someone by your side to love and to cherish. That's bullshyt! Someone to make yours and you hers/his. ...if they don't start an affair with your best friend. The satisfaction of knowing your partner took your hand and vowed to be with you through thick and thin. Or until the money or good sex lasts..... A friend and lover for life! And a vehement enemy in divorce court.... which I don't see why if you pick the right person it should be a burden. who is the right person? they could be right at this point in time but wrong 10 yrs down the road. its all a crapshoot... The thing is I think people are rushing to get married instead of waiting and making sure 100% that this is the person he/she wants to spend the rest of your life with. how will you every know this with 100% assurety?? is there some blood test for this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Well women still get the benefit of an expensive engagement ring, being with someone who makes more than they do (usually), and if things so sour they get most of the money and assets. The partnership and companionship thing is fine, but you can get that without marriage and that's something that both people benefit from. I'm just saying that there are still distinct advantages that women still have, but there don't seem to be any left for men. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Honestly I can't see the reason for anyone to get married unless as Alpha stated they are wanting to have Wee People... IMO it is more ideal to raise Kiddo's with BOTH parents in the home. With that said... When I was married I DID cook, clean, had my Little People AND worked. My now EXH did NOT cook, or clean, or help out much with our Wee Peeps but yeah he did work. When my EXH decided he wanted an open marriage I didn't think he was a pig, I thought he was an assclown... I never cheated on him even though he encouraged me to sleep with his friends... you better know my needs in a lot of areas were not being met, but I still didn't cheat on him instead I divorced him. Now I'm a single Mom who still works, still cooks and cleans... not just for me and my Little people but I also cook for my BF, clean up at his house and help him out with his Wee Peeps... AND I still wouldn't cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Alpha you know you can be a sometimes! Just because you had a bad marriage and a whatever you want to call her as an ex wife doesn't mean all marriages are like that. You do what you want in your life and have your opinions but it's not like that for everyone. Reality check Alpha, some people have wonderful marriages and believe what I wrote to be true. If I was to get engaged and then decided I didn't want to or he didn't' want to, I wouldn't stay with the ring, I would give it back so that way I have no reminder of that engagement except memories. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 and if things so sour they get most of the money and assets. you forgot she usuually gets the kids also, if any Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 this is a really sad thread. what happened to love and devotion? what happened to having a partner to share your life with, to building a life with someone? if all you wanted out of a marraige was someone to cook and clean then hire a housekeeper. The only benefit a woman gets is an engagement ring?!?! man, if that's the type of women you're dating then no wonder you don't want to get married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Well Merin, that's because you're an amazing woman and the exception to the rule. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 btw, after one meal of mine my bfs ask me NOT to cook Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 what happened to love and devotion? Good question. Originally posted by JS17 The only benefit a woman gets is an engagement ring?!?! No, I never said that was the only benefit. And to be clear, ideally I would like to get married, but it seems like it's becoming more and more difficult to find someone with whom to create an equal partnership. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale you forgot she usuually gets the kids also, if any Uh... yeah she also get's to get up at the crack of dawn on her day off from work to get froot loops, and juice... she also get's to make sure the little people are bathed and dressed for the day skipping any thoughts of a long shower for herself... She also gets to pick up the house only to pick it up again in 15 minutes with a stream of shoes, toys and jackets on the floor... she gets to clean up scrapped knee's, blow snotty noses, sometimes wipe butt's, clean up puke and repeat herself constantly. She gets to stay at home at night when her other friends may be going out and tuck in little peeps, read bedtime stories, check for monsters and get drinks of water... I love my Kid's and an happy to do whatever it takes to make sure they are happy, healthy and good to go... BUT yeah Alpha stop making it sound like it's look what SHE gets... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Well Merin, that's because you're an amazing woman and the exception to the rule. Thanks Tan ... Mad Love Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 And to be clear, ideally I would like to get married Why do you want to get married? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Uh... yeah she also get's to get up at the crack of dawn on her day off from work to get froot loops, and juice... she also get's to make sure the little people are bathed and dressed for the day skipping any thoughts of a long shower for herself... She also gets to pick up the house only to pick it up again in 15 minutes with a stream of shoes, toys and jackets on the floor... she gets to clean up scrapped knee's, blow snotty noses, sometimes wipe butt's, clean up puke and repeat herself constantly. She gets to stay at home at night when her other friends may be going out and tuck in little peeps, read bedtime stories, check for monsters and get drinks of water... majority of women enjoy doing the above. its what they were put on the earth for and also gives them validation and fullfillment and love. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale majority of women enjoy doing the above. its what they were put on the earth for and also gives them validation and fullfillment and love. LMFAO You're out of your damn mind. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 This is what you see, Tanbark. Your perception will all change when you meet "the one". Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Merin You're out of your damn mind. so taking care of your "wee peeps" does not give you validation and fullfillment and love? Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Well Praise Lord Alpha, my purpose has at long last been revealed! Hallelujuh! My favorite parts about being a single mother were the 2AM little one vomit sessions when I had to call in to work the next day and get a lot of crap from my boss for yet more time off, worry about losing my job, and therefore risk not being able to feed said vomit-or more ammo for a later blast because I was the ONLY one supporting her. Oh, and don't forget the fact that I pulled in a decent wage, but after childcare and rent, I had just almost $200 to decide whether to eat or keep the lights on. Wooh, I felt fulfilled like a MoFo! All mysogenistic ranting aside, Alpha, do you really believe that or are you trying to stir the pot? Do you have to put alot of bandaids on those knuckles after they've drug across the pavement all day long? I got married because I love my husband. Because when the feces hits the Westinghouse, sometimes he holds me up, sometimes I hold him up. Because I love to take care of him, and he enjoys taking care of me. Because when one of us is old and wandering the streets in nothing but a pair of houseslippers and a robe - it's the other we want to be brought back to. I married him because there was no greater honor I could imagine than taking his name and being a part of his family, and life, forever. Dude, just because you got burned, doesn't mean it has to define you and the world around you, unless that's what you choose. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale majority of women enjoy doing the above. its what they were put on the earth for and also gives them validation and fullfillment and love. Don't lump me in that one eh, no kids here! Originally posted by Merin LMFAO You're out of your damn mind. Crazy too. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale so taking care of your "wee peeps" does not give you validation and fullfillment and love? Number one Alpha YOU have no children, so yeah really you have zero idea of what it is to be a parent. Secondly, Yes I love my Little People a lot and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them to ensure they are happy and healthy... BUT you are seriously delusional if you think that Women are here on this Earth ONLY to be Mothers. I was an amazing person BEFORE I had Kid's and was validated in WHO I WAS BEFORE. I was fullfilled in life BEFORE I had my children, they enhance my life now. I was loved and cared for BEFORE I had my kid's, but of course I feel love from them and for them. I have my little peeps FULL TIME and while I wouldn't have it any other way, it pisses me off that you come across as if the Woman has it so easy in raising Kid's.. and that she shouldn't have any other reasons to be existing. While there are so many great things about being a parent... shaping who your little peeps are and eventually will become and seeing them grow and learn, smile and laugh... you also need to get a handle on it and understand that there are days you don't feel like getting up and getting cereal, you don't feel like cleaning up puke or whiping a sh*tty butt.... you would love to have an hour to yourself, or a phone conversation without interuption... This takes nothing away from my kid's, I love them like mad, crazy... BUT stop coming off as if that is ALL a Womans worth is. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Number one Alpha YOU have no children, so yeah really you have zero idea of what it is to be a parent. Secondly, Yes I love my Little People a lot and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them to ensure they are happy and healthy... BUT you are seriously delusional if you think that Women are here on this Earth ONLY to be Mothers. I was an amazing person BEFORE I had Kid's and was validated in WHO I WAS BEFORE. I was fullfilled in life BEFORE I had my children, they enhance my life now. I was loved and cared for BEFORE I had my kid's, but of course I feel love from them and for them. I have my little peeps FULL TIME and while I wouldn't have it any other way, it pisses me off that you come across as if the Woman has it so easy in raising Kid's.. and that she shouldn't have any other reasons to be existing. While there are so many great things about being a parent... shaping who your little peeps are and eventually will become and seeing them grow and learn, smile and laugh... you also need to get a handle on it and understand that there are days you don't feel like getting up and getting cereal, you don't feel like cleaning up puke or whiping a sh*tty butt.... you would love to have an hour to yourself, or a phone conversation without interuption... This takes nothing away from my kid's, I love them like mad, crazy... BUT stop coming off as if that is ALL a Womans worth is. this is why I admire you so much..... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Merin BUT you are seriously delusional if you think that Women are here on this Earth ONLY to be Mothers. I never said that.... Link to post Share on other sites
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