I asked my wife if she was happy

[Woggle]

and she said yes she is because if she weren't she would have said something to me and if she couldn't fix it after all that effort to save it then she would not be in this marriage. She said that she wouldn't have her life any other way and that living with me was better than anyone she has lived with since childhood.

 

A woman I know said that deep down all married women are unhappy and that men make women miserable and no woman truly wants to stay married and it just got to me so I asked my wife directly.

[alphamale]

that's great woggle

[somanymistakes]

A woman I know said that deep down all married women are unhappy and that men make women miserable and no woman truly wants to stay married and it just got to me so I asked my wife directly.

 

Yeah, some people say that about men - that all men hate being married and just suffer the "ball and chain".

 

It's true for some but definitely not for all.

 

Same for women.

 

But it's good to talk about these things occasionally! Hopefully you had a nice night afterwards.

[preraph]

It's true of a lot of women, but it's certainly not true for all. I know one who wants to be with someone almost no matter how bad it gets and I know one who never thought she'd want to be with someone and now doesn't know what she'd ever do without him, but it was a radical change for her.

 

I think in the early days, women simply had to marry or else be out on the street, but things have changed.

[Woggle]

It brings back old insecurities I used to have when I was paranoid that my wife would leave me which is where a lot of the misogyny back in the days came from. The divorce rate these days is through the roof and most of those divorces are initiated by women so I used to wonder all the time if she really wanted to be married to me. I really started to believe that all married women deep down hated and resented their husbands. I guess I figured I would talk to her before I start that crap again. It's why I shut off my feelings for so long. I was scared of opening myself up only to be hurt again.

[alphamale]

I think in the early days, women simply had to marry or else be out on the street, but things have changed.

 

things haven't changed in many lesser developed countries

[BaileyB]

I think the majority of women who are married are with their partner because they want to be married.

 

The ability to be educated, work, and build assets has afforded women more options than they have ever had previously. Gone are the days when a woman moves from her parents home to her husband’s home - because she was unable to support herself or stigmatized for being single.

 

As to those relationships, I believe that divorces are initiated by more women than men. That tells me that women are not settling into unhappily married life. While some women will always have more limited options and/or be more dependent on men for a variety of reasons including those in lower socioeconomic spcircumstances, abusive relationships, raising multiple children, etc... If a woman does not want to be married, she doesn’t have to be anymore... And, I think that’s a great thing.

[BettyDraper]

I think the majority of women who are married are with their partner because they want to be married.

 

The ability to be educated, work, and build assets has afforded women more options than they have ever had previously. Gone are the days when a woman moves from her parents home to her husband’s home - because she was unable to support herself or stigmatized for being single.

 

As to those relationships, I believe that divorces are initiated by more women than men. That tells me that women are not settling into unhappily married life. While some women will always have more limited options and/or be more dependent on men for a variety of reasons including those in lower socioeconomic spcircumstances, abusive relationships, raising multiple children, etc... If a woman does not want to be married, she doesn’t have to be anymore... And, I think that’s a great thing.

 

I believe that women are still stigmatized if we are single past a certain age.

 

Plenty of couples stay in unhappy marriages because they have children and they don't want to deal with the financial trauma of a divorce.

 

I agree with many other points you have made.

[basil67]

Any person who says "all women" or "all men" about other people's lives is obviously lives on false assumptions and their opinions do not deserve an ounce of your thought. This is why I don't do Twitter or any extremist media - it's giving them more attention than they deserve.

[The Outlaw]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that isn't true for every marriage. My parents were married for 38 years before my mother died, and I've never known two people that were as happy as they were. I'm not married myself but I'd be lucky to have what they did. But good on you for asking her that.

[Woggle]

My knows this woman and in her words she is a bitter and hateful person who wants everybody to be as bitter and hateful as her. She said people can be perfectly happy single but no happy person is filled with that much hate. She also called her a femcel.

[preraph]

Probably grew up in a terrible household ^.

[basil67]

My wife knows this woman and in her words she is a bitter and hateful person ....

 

You've mentioned this woman numerous times. And then you seek out other crazy fringe dwellers to confirm that all women think like she does. Yet online here you know many moderate feminists who respect men and love their partners.

 

Why do you give these fringe dwellers so much power that you begin to doubt your own wife? I can possibly understand that you think all of the moderate feminist posters here are lying....but seriously, what's going on with your critical thinking?

[Woggle]

I don't seek out anything. I saw flashes of a side of me I want to leave in the past so I went home and talked it out and now it is settled.

[basil67]

You seek stuff on Twitter. Stop doing this to yourself.

[Woggle]

You seek stuff on Twitter. Stop doing this to yourself.

 

No I don't. I haven't been on twitter in god knows how long. I hear about it on the news.

[The Outlaw]

Stay away from this woman. People like that only WANT to drag you down. The statement she made speaks for itself. I do agree with her on one thing though-you can be happy single, but she's anything but. When it comes down to brass tacks, it's up to one person and one alone to choose how they want to feel. She's made her bed, so let her sleep in it.

[basil67]

If your news talks about women hating men, try sticking to mainstream news sources. Don't go places where fringe dwellers are given air time.

 

In this crazy time of fake news, conspiracy and outrage, staying away from the noise is important for mental health. My feed can get antivaxxed at times. Those rare people I know who are antivax get unfriended or unfollowed. If a pro vaccination thing comes up on my feed, I know better than to read the comments. Stay away from the noise.

[Woggle]

If women hate marriage so much then how come she blames me for destroying hers? Shouldn't she be thanking me for freeing her from this patriarchal drudgery?

[whichwayisup]

and she said yes she is because if she weren't she would have said something to me and if she couldn't fix it after all that effort to save it then she would not be in this marriage. She said that she wouldn't have her life any other way and that living with me was better than anyone she has lived with since childhood.

 

A woman I know said that deep down all married women are unhappy and that men make women miserable and no woman truly wants to stay married and it just got to me so I asked my wife directly.

 

 

It's good you spoke to your wife...And obviously she's happy! Deep down you KNOW that and shouldn't be questioning if she isn't happy with you. Which leads me to the bolded... Please remember how hard you've worked to get to where you are now with trust issues and also excluding negative influences from your life.

 

DO NOT listen to anybody other than your wife! That woman you spoke to shouldn't be generalizing and speaking on behalf of all married women!

[Woggle]

I know that. This was a brief relapse and I am thankful everyday I am with a woman who doesn't seem to find fault with everything I say and everything I do because if that were the case we would have been long divorced. At the end of the day she doesn't have to be married either and could survive perfectly well on her own so it seems pretty obvious she wants to be here. I do think that what we have is certainly the exception and most marriages are not like this. That is at least what I see.

[Ruby Slippers]

That's awesome, Woggle! It's 100% obvious to me from everything you write on this forum that you have a wonderful marriage and your wife is very lucky to have you. I love reading posts by you and other men of your caliber because it helps me keep the faith that there are great men and great marriages out there

[Woggle]

It just seems sometimes that my wife is the only woman who actually likes her husband. You keep hearing all over the place how miserable married women are and I wonder how she is the exception. Are there are any other women who would be with their husband than not? She also seemed a little annoyed that I would even question if she wanted to be here.

[Ruby Slippers]

It just seems sometimes that my wife is the only woman who actually likes her husband. You keep hearing all over the place how miserable married women are and I wonder how she is the exception. Are there are any other women who would be with their husband than not? She also seemed a little annoyed that I would even question if she wanted to be here.

Most of my friends are still single like me - it's a choice we've all made not to settle for the wrong person/situation. My friends are amazing ladies, seekers, globetrotters, creative business owners, inspired uplifters. We all LOVE and adore the men in our lives, but still haven't found just the right guy, probably due to our own issues and baggage from the past - which we're all making dramatic progress at overcoming, a bunch of late bloomers

 

I have one good friend who's very happily married. She's lucky that she met him when she was 19! They were off and on for years as they both traveled around the world on their adventures, but kept coming back to each other. Now they're living a charmed life with two awesome kids, a terrific extended family, tons of amazing fun. They completely adore each other, and though they've had their issues over the years - he used to be very critical of her, probably due to his own self-judgment - they've come so far and now are just totally glowing. She's completely blossomed with him and it keeps getting better. They're perfect together and totally in love.

 

Though I haven't found the right man yet, anytime I date or have a relationship, I lavish my man with love, adoration, and tons of sweetness. I think it says a lot that in my recent breakup, though we were both sad and hurt, we both expressed that we hope the other has an amazing life with true love and all good things, whomever it's with. I always try to uplift anyone I meet. We might not be right for each other, but I hope that my presence in his life uplifts him and makes his life better.

[DKT3]

After reading this yesterday, I asked my wife. Her response was to laugh and say "I was wondering if you would ask" she doesn't post anymore so I sometimes forget that she still reads the site.

 

A couple of weeks ago I was with a couple friends at an event, one of the guys forgot something and called his wife to bring it. She drove 40 minutes to drop it of, when she arrived she asked if he had any cash, he gave her some and she thanked him and left. A few minutes later it was bugging me so I asked, "she thanked you for the cash, but you didnt even acknowledge her efforts, why not?" He said "she knows I appreciate her " does she?

 

It's no wonder so many women are unhappy with their marriage. How do we as men expect them to know how we feel and think if we dont tell them? If we dont show them? And ignore the effort?