MissFuzzy Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 So, my husband post on forums all the time. Talks about our relationship and maNy other topics. He doesn’t know I know about it, but he posts things about me on it, so obviously I want to know. I found this on his page that he posted. “honestly maybe the hottest girl i've ever seen in my 30 yrs of life. face of an absolute angel. we've made deep eye contact twice before. this time she saw me she said hi. i said hi back. she rang up my receipt and looked me in the eyes and said "How are you?". it was odd because it's at the end of our transaction. I ignored her and left. now i want to suicide. was this a sign she was showing interest?” He want on to reply in the comments that he wants to get her number, but he has a wife. And then in the last comment he said he’s going to go back and talk to her. This was a post from 2017, but I just saw it now. This might be just a careless look at another woman, but I’m also a little worried that this is a sign he may cheat on me in the future. I don’t know what to say to him. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 How long have you been together? How old are YOU? ETA: Nevermind, saw that you were already his wife at that point. I'm still curious how old you are and how long you've been married based on your other thread where he completely disrespects you. All this guy cares about is someone's looks. What does he have to offer you? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Having read your other post about your husbands response to your stretch marks post-pregnancy, are you really concerned that this man will cheat on you? Why do you value yourself so little such that you are willing to put up with this kind of behaviour from your husband? Why are you threatened that he may cheat and/or leave to be with another woman? Why are you not walking away from this man who treats you so disrespectfully... just saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 snooping is a no no, you may find something you wish you hadn't Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissFuzzy Posted May 8, 2019 Author Share Posted May 8, 2019 snooping is a no no, you may find something you wish you hadn't So, if he is cheating... I should just not know about it? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 So, if he is cheating... I should just not know about it? in this case ignorance is bliss Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 All of the below is just IMO: Yes, you should be worried. About the cheating and about the other stuff you posted about. This may not be the right time to investigate this stuff if you are busy caring for an infant. Unfortunately however, he may be using this as an opportunity to act (ie, cheat) if he has intentions of doing so. If and when you decide to go and read the stuff he posts, I think you should be prepared for the worst. I think you need to think through what you would do in a worst-case scenario, and have a realistic, thorough, and actionable plan in mind. Hopefully you won't have to use it. You probably want to wait until your baby is old enough to be moved with relative ease. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Why are you not walking away from this man who treats you so disrespectfully... just saying. MissFuzzy, have to agree, you have bigger issues in your marriage than your husband's two-year old posting history. I know it's a hard truth to accept, but he seems neither a good guy nor committed husband. At some point, you'll need to deal with these issues... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 I didn't read your other threads but him posting that he found some other woman sexy is not even close to cheating. It's an observation. I've been happily married for 10+ years. Every so often I will see some guy & think wow he's handsome. It's not cheating nor do I think gee I want to leave my husband for him. Wanting to get her number isn't great but wanting & doing are different things. Some thought he had 2 years ago, that he didn't act on because he's still with you is a sign that he knows where the lines are drawn. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 I know it's a hard truth to accept, but he seems neither a good guy nor committed husband. At some point, you'll need to deal with these issues.. This. Ever succinct, to the point, and right on the money. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 How long have you been together? How old are YOU? ETA: Nevermind, saw that you were already his wife at that point. I'm still curious how old you are and how long you've been married based on your other thread where he completely disrespects you. All this guy cares about is someone's looks. What does he have to offer you? How old are you and how long have you been married to him? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 I read your other thread. Congratulations on the baby. However, this posting business is the least of your problems. If you truly hope to raise this baby as a nuclear family & expect your husband to be supportive, MC is in order. You best discuss all the issues: his bullying you; your status as the younger trophy wife; your sexual issues (him blaming you because he can't masturbate or whatever that was); your willingness to let him treat you this way; his posts; your snooping etc. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
backtonormal Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 You should be concerned. It's one thing for our husbands to be a little flattered when someone recognizes and comments on something special they possess whether it's eyes, hair, they way they're dressed. But it's an entirely different story when they respond with more than just a genuine, humble "thank you". My husband has some pretty terrific hair and he's even had women come up to him (with me standing right next to him) asking if they can feel his hair. Weird and awkward but he usually allows them and then thanks them on noticing. He then will always introduce me and make some comment about "my wife really likes my hair too." But even when I'm not around he'll just say thank you and move on. He'll come home and tell me that once again someone noticed his hair. LOL! But your husband is crossing a line in my opinion. Whether you had to "snoop" to find out this information or accidentally came upon it. Doesn't matter if you ask me. I'm not sure if you might want to ask your husband if he'd be willing to go to counseling with you to see why he feels the need to not only have your "looking" good without stretch marks and why he needs those ego boosters from cashiers. Maybe ask him if he's willing to go to counseling together in order to have your both work on areas of your lives that you can feel more secure, confident, and relishing your relationship together, giving each other the support, compliments, respect, encouragement without needing them to come from other sources. Just a thought. I'll be praying for your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 After reading this thread and your other thread, time to really think if you want to stay married to him. Even if you love him with all your heart, he makes you feel bad about yourself! He makes you feel doubtful, insecure and unhappy. Divorce him before he ends up mentally abusing you even more than he is now.There are red flags that this all will get worse later in life, he'll be more controlling and possibly become physically abusive too. I'm betting your friends and family "put up" with him and aren't too fond of him... Link to post Share on other sites
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