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Old 3rd April 2019, 4:26 PM   #1
zig
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How would you respond.

My wife is gone on a girls getaway for a week. Ladies, how would you respond if your husband or b/f sent you a text message that said, "tell me one way I can show my love for you, anything". The context was we just texted how much we missed each other.

Guys what would you expect?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 4:41 PM   #2
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It is eerily like something my fWW said to me while her affair had (unbeknownst to me) kicked into high gear.

It made sense to me afterwards as she was trying to assuage guilt she was feeling.

I would tell her "by being unwaveringly faithful."
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Old 3rd April 2019, 4:54 PM   #3
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As the woman on the vacation it might take me a while to respond.

But one of the things my husband started when he was still my BF & I went away was when he picked me up after my trip he gave me a bag of Hershey's kisses & said these are for all the kisses I couldn't give you when you were traveling. Now we give them to each other when one returns from a solo trip.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 5:00 PM   #4
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Jewellery, handbag, shoes..., holiday... new kitchen, new house...
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Old 3rd April 2019, 5:22 PM   #5
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Jewellery, handbag, shoes..., holiday... new kitchen, new house...
My wife's response was "I've been thinking so I'm sure I'll think of something" and that was the last of it two days ago. Hasn't said anything. No further texts or mention of it.

I'm sorry but I thought that was just cold. May as well say F-off.

Not the first time she's been cold like that when I try to be sweet. Never used to be that way.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 5:29 PM   #6
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Oh, please. When someone asks you a question like that, you want to give it full consideration. She'll think of something, don't you worry.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 5:50 PM   #7
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Oh, please. When someone asks you a question like that, you want to give it full consideration. She'll think of something, don't you worry.
Ha ha, yeah we'll see. She gets back this weekend. I promise to let you know.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 5:51 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by zig View Post
My wife's response was "I've been thinking so I'm sure I'll think of something" and that was the last of it two days ago. Hasn't said anything. No further texts or mention of it.

I'm sorry but I thought that was just cold. May as well say F-off.

Not the first time she's been cold like that when I try to be sweet. Never used to be that way.

It's a profound Q & it was kind of unfair of you to blindside her with something so deep when she was on a lark. Are you sweet when she is around or just when she's away & her full attention is not on you?

Text by definition is cold. The medium makes the message worse. You can't maintain a relationship through text. You just can't.

It is cold of her to say anything at all to you over the last 2 days.

If you truly want to be sweet, romance her when she's in front of you. Not with a device in your hand.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 6:01 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by zig View Post
My wife's response was "I've been thinking so I'm sure I'll think of something" and that was the last of it two days ago. Hasn't said anything. No further texts or mention of it.

I'm sorry but I thought that was just cold. May as well say F-off.

Not the first time she's been cold like that when I try to be sweet. Never used to be that way.
My response was slightly tongue in cheek, but my first thought as that perhaps you were angling for something sexual, and if sex is a "issue", then it may explain her lack of response.
Of course the other thing that may be upsetting her, is that she is away on a girl's getaway so this kind of thing coming from you may be seen as you trying to guilt trip her and that doesn't usually go down too well.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 6:06 PM   #10
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I'd say,

"Surprise me!"

No matter how small or large I'd love it because I love surprises!
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Old 3rd April 2019, 6:11 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
when she is around or just when she's away & her full attention is not on you?
I've been the sweetest most helpful husband I can possibly be. Especially the last few weeks. Things have been very good.
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perhaps you were angling for something sexual
I wasn't. I learned a long time ago not too do that. Once I sent a sexy text and later she told me she couldn't give two cents worth. It wasn't like that when we were dating or first married. I can tell you that for sure.

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I'd say,

"Surprise me!"

No matter how small or large I'd love it because I love surprises!
My point exactly. At least you would say something, anything. It's just a kick in the balls is all when I've been working so hard lately helping around the house, watching kids, washing dishes ect ect.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 7:08 PM   #12
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So Zig what do you think it means? It seems you think it means she's lost feelings for you.

I think it's normal that she isn't as romantically inclined as she was when you were dating or first married, it's not really a fair comparison to make. Things settle down to a more normal pattern.

I think when she gets home you should tell her that your feelings were hurt over her response/lack of response and talk about it before you start building up resentments. Honestly it sounds like that's already happening, meaning there have been previous instances of her behavior that made you feel ignored or rejected. Definitely talk to her after she's returned.

To address your specific question, if I was away on a girls' getaway and my husband or boyfriend sent me that text I would think he was being too needy and probably be bringing it up myself when I got home.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 7:43 PM   #13
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So Zig what do you think it means? It seems you think it means she's lost feelings for you....... meaning there have been previous instances of her behavior that made you feel ignored or rejected.....I would think he was being too needy and probably be bringing it up myself when I got home.
Yup! Slowly but surely and nope, I'm not saying anything. I've already brought it up in the past and she'll have no part of the conversation.

Yup! there have been many previous instances and that's why I'm peeved. If this was a one off deal I wouldn't care one bit.

Needy? who knows, I'm only responding to her saying that she loves me and misses me. ( I know you're saying hey wait a minute) but that, in my opinion has become nothing but lip service to keep me hanging. It's really easy to send a text that says I love you. The actions don't often back it up.

But hey, seriously I'm just b!itchy about this right now. Everything else in our marriage is fine, I just feel like I've become last on her list is all.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 7:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
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I've been the sweetest most helpful husband I can possibly be. Especially the last few weeks. Things have been very good.

I wasn't. I learned a long time ago not too do that. Once I sent a sexy text and later she told me she couldn't give two cents worth. It wasn't like that when we were dating or first married. I can tell you that for sure.


My point exactly. At least you would say something, anything. It's just a kick in the balls is all when I've been working so hard lately helping around the house, watching kids, washing dishes ect ect.
I hate to point out that helping around the house, watching kids and washing dishes are all things you should be doing no matter what. It's not a favor to her. It's your house, kids and dishes too.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 8:05 PM   #15
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Well the "needy" is probably just a byproduct of the previous incidents then and understandable.

Her not being willing to talk about it is a big problem. I'm not sure what to tell you.
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