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Wife needs a bigger push


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Old 3rd April 2019, 2:24 AM   #1
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Wife needs a bigger push

Hi all! New member here, first post.

My wife is telling me that I do not push her enough. I always thought I did by providing her with the ability to buy things pertaining to her hobbies and encouragement towards them. But this does not seem to be enough as she desires more push from me. A small bit of background - she has always lived a 'faster' paced life than I have.

So my first question to you all - how have you all pushed your SO when they need a little extra motivation?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 3:37 AM   #2
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To be honest, I feel like we need more information. What kind of a “push” does she feel like she needs from you... and for what exactly?

I don’t really feel like it’s my responsibility to “push” my partner to do anything. He is a grown-up man, he is able to do as he wishes. Of course, he always has my support and encouragement in anything he chooses to do...

And, I suppose I have learned in life that people do things when/because they want to do sometime - you can “push” all you want, it doesn’t mean they will agree or do anything...
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Old 3rd April 2019, 3:43 AM   #3
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At the end of the post you mention motivation. What does she need your help in motivating herself to do? Why does she put it on you instead of taking responsibility herself?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 5:39 AM   #4
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What does she need a push to do, exactly?

I'm not what you're asking.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 8:22 AM   #5
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Why is it your responsibility to motivate her instead of her doing it for herself? Is she a grown woman or a child?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 8:38 AM   #6
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The only activity you mentioned is "hobbies" and that is an activity one engages in for fun and relaxation; it seems that pushing them would destroy the whole purpose for a hobby. You also said that your wife is used to a faster passed life than you; that sounds interesting. What do you mean by a faster paced life?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 8:47 AM   #7
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Maybe pushed is not quite the right word, maybe she wants encouragement, support and back up.
Someone who has her back, rather than someone to push her to do stuff she doesn't want to do...
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Old 3rd April 2019, 11:57 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baker1000 View Post
My wife is telling me that I do not push her enough.
Quote:
Originally Posted by baker1000 View Post
A small bit of background - she has always lived a 'faster' paced life than I have.
Like other posters, I'm trying to reconcile these two statements. It would be unusual to expect the 'slower' paced half of a couple to provide motivation, normally they'd be struggling to keep up.

My wife likes to 'coccoon', do crafts and scrapbook, garden, watch TV and hang with family and friends. I play sports, like to go places and do things and get cabin fever if I don't have something planned. I'd be waiting a long time were I expecting her to 'push' me...

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