jaclynxox89 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Over the past year or so, my husband and I's sex life has been reduced greatly. We still have phases every now and then where we'll do it 3 times in a week but that is rarely. I definitely have a high sex drive. The new normal for us is once, maybe twice per week if we're lucky. I've found that we're just tired and exhausted by evening, as soon as my husband hits the bed he is snoring 2 minutes later. He is 37 and I am 29. Well, I guess my question here is my husbands actual erection process that I don't feel comfortable asking him about. He's been my only love so I have no experience with anyone else. I noticed that when we started last night directly out of his shower, he couldn't really get it 'up'. Then after a minute of starting, the best way to describe this is that he was like, slapping his penis on my pelvis bone. It definitely looked like he wasn't fully erected, so I don't want to hurt his feelings by asking him directly. I mean, our sex life and relationship in general is as perfect as it can get. No real issues, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I need to spice things up somehow? Am I becoming a bore that he can't get erect as easily as he did before? Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 As a man ages his testosterone level starts to drop off. This is normal, some men it happens earlier and some later, but it starts to decline at about 40, so your husband may be just a tad early. We (men) can have some good days and some bad. Its not you. Its just part of the aging process. He can always have his testosterone level checked by his doctor, who can advise him of various options. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Ya don't stress it. He might have rubbed one off in the shower or earlier that day. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 No real issues, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I need to spice things up somehow? Other issues aside, is this something you'd be interested in doing? Not much downside to trying... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Bodies aren't robots - there are lots of reasons why bodies don't work perfectly, especially when you get older. Erections can come and go for all sorts of reasons - even something as simple as an upset stomach can mess with an erection. But there's no harm (and IMO, a lot of gain! ) in spicing things up in the bedroom. I'm a huge fan of that - it's fun, it's bonding, it keeps things fresh and exciting. The key here is that YOU have to really want it - and pick things that you'd find fun as well, not just doing it for the sole purpose of trying to "fix" a problem that may or may not exist with your husband. I'd also recommend talking to him about what he thinks of your sex life (without bringing up the lack of erection). Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Was this a one time thing or is he struggling to get erections often? 37 is pretty young for this sort of issue, unless he is overweight or has some underlying health issue (like diabetes). Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Let's wait for "he is having an affair" armada... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 There is always the chance that he, like many men, masturbated in the shower. So maybe right after a shower is not the best time to initiate sex, though it's certainly the least smelly time. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 You have outlined a lot of issues. Age, fatigue, stress, time of day, and a sexual rut. You can’t do much about the age, but increasing exercise will help. The rest is totally controllable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaclynxox89 Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 Thank you all so much for helping me clear some confusion, which I really needed and does make a lot of sense. Of course I want to 'spice things up' but honestly, how would I do that? LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaclynxox89 Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 Other issues aside, is this something you'd be interested in doing? Not much downside to trying... Mr. Lucky Of course I want to 'spice things up' but honestly, how would I do that? LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Thank you all so much for helping me clear some confusion, which I really needed and does make a lot of sense. Of course I want to 'spice things up' but honestly, how would I do that? LOL Don't you have anything that you'd like to try? Browse some erotica and see if anything strikes your fancy? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 It could also be the timing. A lot of men get a woody in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning when they wake up. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I've found that we're just tired and exhausted by evening, as soon as my husband hits the bed he is snoring 2 minutes later. Are you both waiting until he's reached the point of exhaustion? You might want to get started earlier in the evening. Waiting until he's exhausted is not going to help at all. You can plan this too. You can have days where you both arrive home early. You can prioritize romance. TV time, or even dinner, can come after you've had intimacy. You could also try touching him for a few minutes first, to firm him up. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Of course I want to 'spice things up' but honestly, how would I do that? LOL In a general sense, everything from watching soft/hardcore porn together, using toys, role playing, taking turns, light bondage, spanking, expanding your menu to oral/anal, etc. There's as many flavors as there are couples. No need to start full 50 Shades (have you seen that movie ), you can simply pick one and go from there. The good news is, assuming both consenting, no wrong answers... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts