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Wife mad, got better paying job but it isn't working out.


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 18th March 2019, 6:17 AM   #16
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Yeah now I am thinking of all ways can make 40-45k a year on 3 jobs if I lose this job instead. I knew one guy making over 40k a year who worked at the warehouse I use to work, but he worked 3 jobs barely slept and would go twice a week to sell his blood for money to blood banks. He also had his side business of selling things he found in junkyards for money.

My wife only makes McDonalds wages. Her hours have been cut. She barely graduated high school having to take a lot of remedial classes. They put her in a lot of dummy classes in high school. She said her grades were awful in school teachers and students called her dumb and stupid. She is not retarded, but is probably very close to the borderline. So I am not sure if she could ever get a better paying job then what McDonalds pays. Even at McDonalds she gets made fun of for being too slow and being such a slow learner. She has no strength and can barely lift 5 lb objects it seems so I am not sure if better paying warehouse work would ever work out for her. She completely depends on me for insurance.

Whats worse since I quit my old job and started this one I just got COBRA forms in mail. It is going cost me over $2,000 for my wife and I to be on COBRA to continue insurance from old company. I was paying like only $400 a month to insure both of us when I worked at warehouse. Even if I just wanted to insure my wife alone it would cost me $800 a month!

So I really hope new job worked out and am regretting leaving old job, because if I doesn't worked out I really screwed me and my wife.
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Old 18th March 2019, 7:17 AM   #17
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Iím trying to figure out why youíd have to work 3 jobs to make $45k/yr when you have a degree. Where do you live - in a third world country?
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Old 18th March 2019, 7:41 PM   #18
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Iím trying to figure out why youíd have to work 3 jobs to make $45k/yr when you have a degree. Where do you live - in a third world country?
A lot of people with college degrees actually. Funny thing is a lot of people I worked with at warehouse thought it was so easy for someone with a degree to make that kind of money and the only reasons they weren't making that money was because they didn't have a degree. Not True.

I worked with so many people like myself who had college degrees yet struggled even to land $10-$12/hr jobs, some couldn't even land any job at all even with a college degree and were unemployed.

A lot of it is how selective your college is and your major. Those who go to more selective colleges have easy times landing 40k+ a year jobs, those who don't really struggle to land any job. Like at the college I went to the average ACT scores of entering freshman were 17-22 and the average SAT scores were between 850-1000. That is about right in the range I scored on those tests. My college was ranked very lightly competitive and almost everyone who applies gets accepted into college. We had like an 85% acceptance rate. Only like 30% of those accepted at my college completed a 4 year degree in 4 years or less, I completed mine in only 3 years taking summer classes each year.

Even when I went back after I got my bachelors from my college to get my MBA I did not need to take any GMAT scores. They waived it because I had previous work experience and had a 3.5 GPA. Later got a 3.89 GPA in my MBA program. Most of my classmates seemed about the same level as me, there were a few smart kids at my college but not that many in all honesty. Most of my classmates got similar ACT and SAT scores as I did.
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Old 18th March 2019, 11:27 PM   #19
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Most of my classmates seemed about the same level as me, there were a few smart kids at my college but not that many in all honesty. Most of my classmates got similar ACT and SAT scores as I did.
I think you're underselling yourself, your should have higher expectations with a MBA. Outside of specific jobs in very specific fields, few employers look your college up in the US N&WR rankings to see where it stands. Working hard to succeed in your present job helps you build a knowledge and experience base that pays off down the road. Warehouse work offers no career help at all...

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Old 18th March 2019, 11:31 PM   #20
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Ok, fine. But stop comparing yourself to others. Keep looking until you land a better job. Consider moving to a smaller city in a less competitive market and you might do better. Or accept a job at a big company where it may not pay great but you have the potential to move up. Donít just give up because others didnít get what they wanted. You seem to have a lot going for you.
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Old 30th March 2019, 9:22 AM   #21
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Yeah this week boss had meeting with whole group about me. They locked themselves in a room and I overheard their conversation while I patiently waited to hear from the boss himself. I heard things like "would you put your job on the line for him?". "can he be trusted?" "you have a good personality for this position, but him ...". Then I hear him tell the group in the room, "you know he actually is really smart. He correctly answered [a question] that no one else I have interviewed knew the answer to except him."



Then they leave room come back and boss openly starts talking about my performance with me and group, I was a little upset that it was not a private meeting. Tells me based on resume and skill set I showed in interview he was impressed, but unfortunately he is not seeing what he saw on the interview with my actual performance. Told me I am performing down here *waiving his hand at his ankles* when he expects me to be performing up here *waiving his hand above his chest*.



He tells me he is very dissappointed, but was very dissappointed with the other new hires too and will have seperate conversations with them as well. He tells me to be honest he has been interviewing others for my position and the other new hires. He tells me he is still on the fence weather to keep me still onboard and is still on the fence if he wants to keep the other new hires onboard as well. For now I am still hired but that could change if my performance doesn't improve.



So I have seperate meeting with him next day in private. He tells me don't worry I am not firing you today, which gave me little comfort. He tells me he actually thinks I am a very smart young man, which I found really funny since I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a kid and consider myself incredibly dumb. He says based off my resume and my interview I can excel at this job and be great but my biggest enemy is myself. He says he watches me and observes my behavior. Boss tells me I have a very low self esteem and no self confidence in anything I do. He tells me your actually very smart, you just don't think you are. He tells me he wants me to have more self confidence, have a chip on my shoulder, I need to tell myself "I know how to do this".



So not liking the idea of gambling and hoping maybe boss keeps me onboard, I been trying to contact old employers and look for different work. Left message with old boss that I gave a short notice to for this job and tried calling, but never got a call back. I think he is still pissed off at me that I only gave a week notice. He never answers phone when I have been trying to call him. A friend told me months ago he could get me hired doing local trucking so I might see if that job is still available. There also is a couple very dangerous jobs I can do. One is about an hour away working in a slaughter house. The other one is a very dangerous factory job, one guy I know almost lost his whole hand working there... but if you need a job you need a job I would be happy if they hired me on.


Wife keeps reminding me how stupid I was to leave old job for a better paying job and screw up my insurance. Talked to our family doctor on the phone and she agreed with my wife and told me how stupid that was. Our doctor told me my wife's medical bills will be so incredibly expensive without insurance. She said my wife needs an MRI and tests done, but now she can't because I screwed up their insurance. I was hoping to make it through 90 day probation period with new job so I could get on new company's insurance, but that won't happen now and cobra costs over $2,000 a month for me and my wife.

Last edited by LoveFiend; 30th March 2019 at 9:52 AM..
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Old 30th March 2019, 11:03 AM   #22
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Divorce your negative, nagging wife, quit the stupid job, move very far way. Start over. Try Santa Fe, NM or Los Alamos, NM if you live in the States. Degreed people can fare very well over there and the competition is far less. Not to mention the way of life will knock your socks off.

Your boss was WAY out of line talking to you like that with others present.

Btw, dyslectic people are typically extremely intelligent. You far undersell yourself.
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Old 30th March 2019, 11:15 AM   #23
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We all learn as we go in life. It's too late to do anything about your choice to leave the other job for this one so don't waste time and energy on beating yourself up over it. You now know what an important part of the total compensation package healthcare is and can use that wisdom in the future when evaluating options.

Do your best in what sounds like a difficult situation. Look for other employment options, but don't make any quick decisions. Consider your options carefully.

Is your wife's health so precarious that waiting 90 days for any procedure puts her health in jeopardy? Obviously we should never put our health at risk, but most of the time waiting 90 days isn't an undue hardship unless something unexpected pops up.

And I agree that your boss was WAY out of line and that your wife sounds like nag.
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Old 30th March 2019, 11:18 AM   #24
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True, but he'd be paying the full premium for the two of them. Usually a shock to people how expensive that is.



Boy, sounds like the corporate version of The Hunger Games. But someone has to survive this process, eh? I'd work very hard - and very smart - to make sure it's me. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to the little things...

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Well let’s see. 3 months pay at $45K= 11,250. 3 months pay @ $12= 6240.
Even at $1200 a month for insurance, he would be money ahead.
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Old 1st April 2019, 3:40 PM   #25
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It sounds like your boss doen't really want to fire you. Why would you want to go back to looking for $12/hour jobs. Look for other jobs in your field.
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Old 1st April 2019, 4:00 PM   #26
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Just remember that your wife could also be looking for herself a job with insurance. If she's doing housekeeping, she can do things far less difficult and I don't know where you live but right now in the US, we have more jobs than people, and she should try getting one with benefits herself!
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Old 1st April 2019, 5:15 PM   #27
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Iím trying to figure out why youíd have to work 3 jobs to make $45k/yr when you have a degree. Where do you live - in a third world country?

um, I suggest you actually search the job market and see how bad it is. MBAs are not the "gold" they once were.


Wat I don't understand is why a man with an MBA is working for a "social services" company.
Op, if you really are desperate, why not join the army? You'd join at officer rank with an MBA and have excellent benefits.Health insurance, life insurance and more.
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Old 1st April 2019, 5:21 PM   #28
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Divorce your negative, nagging wife, quit the stupid job, move very far way. Start over.

Oh what a nag she is! How DARE she expect to have health insurance! Is she out of her mind? Perhaps she should just crawl away now, lest she drag him down even further.
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Old 1st April 2019, 5:26 PM   #29
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It sounds like OP's wife continues to tell him what a mistake he made on a regular basis. In my book that's nagging.

You have the conversation once, maybe twice, make your displeasure clear, and then move on to help be part of the solution whether or not it was your "mistake". As in she could be searching for a job for herself that offers healthcare.
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Old 1st April 2019, 5:28 PM   #30
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What I don't understand is why you need health insurance to get an MRI etc. IAren't those things covered? It's not like it's a cosmetic procedure.
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