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Wife mad, got better paying job but it isn't working out.


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Old 12th March 2019, 8:10 PM   #1
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Wife mad, got better paying job but it isn't working out.

So I left a $12/hr warehouse job with benefits for a job that is paying me 45k a year in social services. I got my MBA/ Masters in Social Work and was looking for a better paying job while I worked at a warehouse. I finally landed a 45k a year job in my major but it appears not to be working out.


My wife is pissed off at me because although my old job was $12/hr it offered decent healthcare coverage for her that covered a lot of her medical bills, she has a lot of health problems. I lost all my coverage when I took new job and won't get insurance back till 90 days are completed on new job. We both are living with my father. She does housekeeping for a living that doesn't pay benefits.


The problem is my new manager liked my resume and liked me when he interviewed me for job. He at first pressured me to leave current warehouse job with no notice. Told me I will pay you 45k a year if you leave current job you have now with no notice. Then I told him I needed at least a little notice to give current employer out of courtesy. He told me fine and gave me a date to start that was only 1 weeks notice and said that he really needed someone he didn't want to delay my start date any further.


... so out of a gamble I went after job giving only last employer only a weeks notice at the warehouse since I didn't want to pass up 45k a year. My old boss on last day I am quitting like the last 5 minutes of day tells me because I am only giving him 1 week notice HR has determined I can't come back. He says HR thinks you will just leave again the next time you see greener pastures.


Anyway new job doesn't seem to be working out. There are a few of us they just hired as new hires and on 2nd day we all get warned on job of our "performance". We are told everything in one day and then since we can't remember everything we are told on 2nd day we already start getting warnings. Each day in the week seems like "Am I going be fired today or tomorrow?". On 3rd day we have department meeting and new hires are told this position we landed is either "sink or swim" and we will be made to "cry uncle". Then we are told about the people who were good employees, but left to other places to work that management hated to see go. And then we are told about all the people they fired that management tells us no way in hell they will ever hire back.


So I feel like crap. I feel like I screwed up my wife. I needed the money bad and took the bate, but like wife says I got a little too greedy. I threw away the great health coverage we had on old job on a gamble new one was going work out.


What do I do? What do I tell my wife?
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Old 12th March 2019, 8:28 PM   #2
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Just try to hang on in your new job. Don't know why she's throwing a fit about the insurance. I guess she doesn't understand how companies work. Just tell her that's how it is and to get used to it.


Keep looking like you're working real hard and keep your head down and just see if you can hang on there. That's good money. But if not, you shouldn't have much trouble finding another warehouse job at all to tide you over until you get another position.
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Old 12th March 2019, 9:05 PM   #3
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Thought your wife sounded a bit unreasonable, but I then looked at your other threads to see if I could get more context.

Is this the job you mentioned moving for in another thread late last year? If so, I can better understand your wife's frustration. It sounds like she had hang-ups about moving for the job, and now her fears are being realized. This is on top of the other things she has had to endure because of your decisions.

It sounds like you're not able to get your old job back, but if you did relocate, is it possible to find a comparable job to your warehouse one back home with benefits? This is one of those things a lot of us younger folks just tend to gloss over. We long at salary only, not really taking into consideration health benefits, which can be worth their weight in gold under the right circumstances.
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Old 13th March 2019, 8:52 AM   #4
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OP, if you're in the US you should be offered COBRA to fill in the gap between the insurance coverage.
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Old 13th March 2019, 10:51 AM   #5
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If your wife is capable of cleaning houses (which is cash under the table and we both know this) then whatever health issues she has obviously don't prevent her from working any type of office job.

Why hasn't she looked for a better job, maybe a desk job or some other opportunity that pays more than a few hundred dollars a month which I assume she's making cleaning houses under the table? You're living at your father's house so obviously, you can't afford for you and your wife to live on your own.

As long as you're making $12 an hour, you'll always live at your father's house. If you're old enough to be married, then you're old enough to be supporting yourself without having to run to your parents.

When I was a single mother I had to suck it up EVERY SINGLE DAY and face the hell of a job that I couldn't STAND going to every morning, but it was paying the rent, feeding my son and I, and keeping us off the streets. So I continued going there every morning, sometimes crying on the way to work because it was so horrible. But I DID it. And that's what adults sometimes have to do in order to provide for their own.

So suck it up and stop whining. And if your wife is so short-sighted that all she can think about is health insurance, then that's another real good reason for her to get her butt out to work in the real world - maybe she can find a job that offers her the health insurance benefits she's been bitching about.
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:17 AM   #6
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So suck it up and stop whining. And if your wife is so short-sighted that all she can think about is health insurance, then that's another real good reason for her to get her butt out to work in the real world - maybe she can find a job that offers her the health insurance benefits she's been bitching about.
I wouldn't be too hard on his wife. Read his other threads she is a saint...
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:54 AM   #7
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OP, if you're in the US you should be offered COBRA to fill in the gap between the insurance coverage.
True, but he'd be paying the full premium for the two of them. Usually a shock to people how expensive that is.

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Anyway new job doesn't seem to be working out. There are a few of us they just hired as new hires and on 2nd day we all get warned on job of our "performance". We are told everything in one day and then since we can't remember everything we are told on 2nd day we already start getting warnings. Each day in the week seems like "Am I going be fired today or tomorrow?". On 3rd day we have department meeting and new hires are told this position we landed is either "sink or swim" and we will be made to "cry uncle". Then we are told about the people who were good employees, but left to other places to work that management hated to see go. And then we are told about all the people they fired that management tells us no way in hell they will ever hire back.
Boy, sounds like the corporate version of The Hunger Games. But someone has to survive this process, eh? I'd work very hard - and very smart - to make sure it's me. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to the little things...

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Old 13th March 2019, 1:27 PM   #8
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Look for other work.

Have your wife look for other work too. If she wants to complain then SHE is also capable of being part of any solution.
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:06 PM   #9
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What do I do? What do I tell my wife?
You tell your wife to hang on & that benefits are coming in 90 days.

then you buckle down & do your job. When your salary doubled so did your work responsibilities. Step up & use that brain of your that enabled you to get your MBA. If you are a social worker you have some ability to counsel others. Think about what you would say to a client who told you what you just posted, then take your own advice.

If your wife cleans for work, have her apply at a company that does pay benefits & wages against which she will be able to collect Social Security later like a housekeeper in a hotel or something.
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:13 PM   #10
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Where in the world did you get this job? I work in social services and I have never heard anything of this sort in a workplace. Are you actually working as a social worker?
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Old 14th March 2019, 9:56 AM   #11
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Where in the world did you get this job? I work in social services and I have never heard anything of this sort in a workplace. Are you actually working as a social worker?
I'll bet it's one of those EAP call centers.
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Old 15th March 2019, 6:14 AM   #12
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Look for other work.

Have your wife look for other work too. If she wants to complain then SHE is also capable of being part of any solution.
Yeah I don't know a lot of factory and warehouse jobs in my area.

The woman I am being trained with seems to be putting on the new hires unreasonable demands. We take notes and she tells us everything once and expects us to have a photographic memory of how to do it. Like after the first day we get chastised for her for not remembering how to do something she told us on our first day on the job to do.

She throws all this information on us that it seems like she has collected in her brain for doing her job for years and expects us to be able to do everything she does after like only 1 week of training. Then second week comes and it literally is like hell everyday working with her. Starting on Monday it is like "Omg you guys don't remember how to do this I told you last week check your notes!" She says just give me a ring if you guys get stuck or need help, but then when we do ask for help we get verbally chastised and screamed at for asking for help with the usual lines "I already told you guys how to do this!" She makes us feel stupid. "Learn the information!"

Then there is the attack on my Education, Licenses, and Certifications she routinely makes everyday on the job. She will ask me, "Where did you say you went to college again?" and she will ask, " You got your certifications and you can't answer the question I just asked you? You got your MBA, yet you don't know how to do this? You can't answer correctly my questions?" Then when I ask questions she gives me a look on her face like I am really stupid and she asks me "why did you ask me that question?" Sometimes she will just ignores my questions altogether.

My wife gets made at me and tells me if she is this way why did you even take the job then. I tell her I had no idea she was going act like this once I was hired. She is mad I screwed up the health insurance we had at other job that paid $12/hr and in many ways I am mad at myself too.

Last edited by LoveFiend; 15th March 2019 at 6:17 AM..
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Old 15th March 2019, 6:46 AM   #13
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You have an MBA but youíre accepting jobs at $12/hr and $45k/yr?? Most non-degreed people could make that without even trying. I think you need to focus on a new line of work. Also, the next time an employer tries to persuade you to screw over your current employer, donít agree to it. Itís a red flag about the type of people youíll be dealing with. I say itís no love lost with either job. Keep the one you have, stop getting sucked into office gossip, and start looking for a new position that pays a good deal more.
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Old 15th March 2019, 7:30 AM   #14
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The woman I am being trained with seems to be putting on the new hires unreasonable demands. We take notes and she tells us everything once and expects us to have a photographic memory of how to do it. Like after the first day we get chastised for her for not remembering how to do something she told us on our first day on the job to do.

She throws all this information on us that it seems like she has collected in her brain for doing her job for years and expects us to be able to do everything she does after like only 1 week of training. Then second week comes and it literally is like hell everyday working with her. Starting on Monday it is like "Omg you guys don't remember how to do this I told you last week check your notes!" She says just give me a ring if you guys get stuck or need help, but then when we do ask for help we get verbally chastised and screamed at for asking for help with the usual lines "I already told you guys how to do this!" She makes us feel stupid. "Learn the information!"
Her screaming is bad but her expectations are not unreasonable. If I am hiring an MBA, I don't expect to have to repeat myself. I should be able to give you a manual of how things get done in this office, explain myself once & then have you do the job.

The day I started at my first post-grad degree job, there weren't even any other people on my level at the place. They were all out in the field. I came in. One of the secretaries pointed me to what would be my work space. There were 10 files there & I was told to get to work. So I did.

You just weren't properly prepared for this new high functioning position. You thought it would be like your old low level job where the expectation is that you can't do much right & have to be constantly supervised. The real world isn't like that. You have to make a greater effort.
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Old 15th March 2019, 5:26 PM   #15
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Her screaming is bad but her expectations are not unreasonable. If I am hiring an MBA, I don't expect to have to repeat myself. I should be able to give you a manual of how things get done in this office, explain myself once & then have you do the job.
Long ago, I worked as as "back of house" trainer for a restaurant company, teaching recent college grads (typically with Hospitality degrees) kitchen management.

It was amazing how little real world knowledge most of them had. Inventory, cost control, scheduling - they looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

The OP may need to apply a little more street smarts and a little less theoretical thinking...

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