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BF wearing dad's wedding ring


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Old 11th March 2019, 9:43 PM   #1
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BF wearing dad's wedding ring

Hi. Wasn't sure where to put this thread so here it is.

I have been with my bf almost 2 years. We have talked of future and spending the rest of our lives together, etc. but yet he is skittish with moving in at this point and says he doesn't want to marry again. We are both divorced, we both own houses and are settled where we are, close enough to each other (30 mins) We are late 40's/early 50's.

His dad passed over a year ago and he immediately put the wedding ring on his right hand. He asked me at the time if I thought it was weird and I told him that it didn't matter if it was weird, that if he wanted to wear the ring to honor his father that it was up to him.

Every once in a while he puts it on his left hand, on his ring finger. It's a plain gold band and clearly a wedding ring. Recently he had it on his left hand for about 2 weeks. I didn't say anything. Now it's back on his right hand.

A while ago when I first noticed he did this I asked him about it and he made a joke about it and then put it back on his right hand.

Without asking him directly for an honest, non jokey answer, I can't figure out why he would do this. It obviously makes him look married. And he's saying he doesn't ever want to marry again. But he's walking around meeting clients and seeing co-workers and buying lunch and grocery shopping and walking around looking married.

I know you can't tell me what he's thinking, but what do you make of this?
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Old 11th March 2019, 10:13 PM   #2
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Seems like he misses his Dad. Not sure I'd assign any other deeper meaning...

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Old 11th March 2019, 10:38 PM   #3
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Thanks Mr. Lucky

He definitely misses his dad. I wish I was able to meet him before he was suffering from dementia. He seemed like a great guy.

It's probably just that simple. I just find it weird that a guy who doesn't want to marry again is walking around looking married. I guess it doesn't bother him.
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:54 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curlygirl40 View Post
I just find it weird that a guy who doesn't want to marry again is walking around looking married. I guess it doesn't bother him.
You associate the ring with marriage, he associates it with his dad. Dangerous to project your feelings onto others, rarely turns out to be true...

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Old 12th March 2019, 8:55 AM   #5
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It is his Dad's ring. It holds sentimental value to him. Nothing more complicated than that.
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Old 12th March 2019, 9:12 AM   #6
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It's a way to feel connected to his dead father. It's not about you or some desire to me married. It's about a boy missing his dad, even if the boy is a middle aged man.
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Old 12th March 2019, 5:41 PM   #7
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Is he right handed? If so, he may prefer to wear it on his left hand so that it's less annoying when he works. Or perhaps it fits both fingers equally well and he doesn't put any thought into which hand he puts it on.

That aside, I can't see a downside to him appearing to be married. It's better than putting out 'single and available' vibes.
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Old 12th March 2019, 7:15 PM   #8
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I wear my moms wedding ring. It was really important to me after she passed. For me, its a reminder of my mom, my parents love, and our family.

I usually wear it on my right hand, but I sometimes switch it. She wore it on her left hand obviously.
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Old 12th March 2019, 7:23 PM   #9
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If he's right-handed, I'm saying it's because it gets more in the way on his right hand.
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Old 13th March 2019, 8:55 AM   #10
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A lot of people in the LGBTQ community wear wedding bands on their right hand....
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Old 13th March 2019, 10:20 AM   #11
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Maybe he’s very spiritual and is channeling his dad to watch over and protect him.

It’s also an excellent conversation starter. “How long have you been married?”

“Turns out I’m single. This was my Dad’s ring.”

*Smiles and winks.
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Old 13th March 2019, 9:04 PM   #12
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Thank you all for your replies!

He's actually left handed. I love watching him write. lol

He doesn't talk about it much but I'm sure he misses his dad, he had a great relationship with him. That's likely what it is and I'm making too much out of it. I appreciate your insight!
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Old 14th March 2019, 12:07 PM   #13
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I sometimes switch my wedding rings from my left hand to my right. Not trying to pretend I am not married but I have sensitive skin and sometimes - even after years wearing them - the rings bother my hand. So I just switch them for a day or two to avoid losing them.

It may be just that the ring was bothering his hand but he wanted to keep wearing it and he switched.
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