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Wife wears ex husbands wedding ring


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Old 10th March 2019, 12:30 AM   #1
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Wife wears ex husbands wedding ring

So my wife and I have had our fair share of problems in a relationship, there have been occasions where she has broken my trust and completely disrespected me,, I'm a very good man and I forgave her because I want to keep our family, we have daughter,, during our marriage she is mentioned more than once that she had sold her mother a ring when her and her ex husband were financially in need she always talked about how she wanted this ring back.

About a year ago her mother surprise her and gifted her the ring back she was ecstatic and I was happy for her, unknown to me she designed this ring during their marriage and this was her wedding ring with her ex. (just a little backlog at one point in our marriage it was revealed that she had been secretly talking to her ex-husband without my knowledge for months text message everyday phone calls for hours)

She has never mentioned it was her wedding ring and promptly took our wedding ring off and started wearing the one from her previous marriage,, she said it was prettier after a while I told her I couldn't take it it was completely disrespectful to me and she threw a fit saying it's just a ring and she designed it it doesn't represent their marriage..

She hasn't worn it in a couple months but the marriage has not been good two weeks ago and told her everything I knew she had been hiding,she's been disrespectful to me and hasn't treated me as she cares about me, I did it very respectfully a very calmly and for the first time in a while she acted like she understood and things have been better tonight she asked me to take her to the jewelry store so she can get a ring from her dad sized when we pull up in the parking lot and start walking up to the jewelry store.

She says oh I'm also going to get this one size so I can wear it on my right hand, shut down or ring is gone and she's wearing the wedding ring from her ex, she says she doesn't understand why have a problem with it,is she being naive or does she just not care?

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Old 10th March 2019, 1:10 AM   #2
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She has some set of balls! And is clueless too about your feelings, is inconsiderate and selfish.

Time to talk to her honestly and find out what is truly going on. Something is very off, never have I read anything like this, a woman wearing her ex's ring and gets mad when her current husband is upset and hurt/offended by it. WTF.

You deserve better! Your wife certainly isn't treating you well at all! Tell her she can wear your wedding band, not her ex's. If she chooses to wear his (even on the right hand), she might as well pack her bags and move in with him.

Ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed?
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Old 10th March 2019, 3:16 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by gingersnap1111 View Post
she says she doesn't understand why have a problem with it
She doesn't need to understand why you have a problem with it. She just needs to accept that you have a problem with it and make steps to correct it.

So what do you want her to do? Do you want her to put it in a jewelry box and never look at it again? Do you want her to sell it? Do you want her to melt it down and use the stones in a new setting? Figure out how you can feel better about this, and ask her to do that. Don't just fume about it and offer no solutions.

But you have more problems than the ring. If your relationship was better, you probably wouldn't have a problem with a piece of rock that she doesn't feel represents her previous marriage. If you trusted her and felt loved and respected and secure, I'm betting you wouldn't care all that much about the ring.

Have you considered marriage counseling?
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:25 AM   #4
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If you trusted her and felt loved and respected and secure, I'm betting you wouldn't care all that much about the ring.

Have you considered marriage counseling?
I don't know.. I would sure have a problem with it, she took his ring off.. the ring that he gave her that symbolized their union and placed another man's ring on her own finger...

Yeah.. it's messed up...

It would have been different if it was a handed down ring from her Grandmother, even then she would have needed to discuss that but the chances are if she had an heirloom ring she would have been married with it.

She needs to keep her past in the past and yes marriage counseling maybe the only way thru this since she crossed the line soooo far that she can't see what she has done.. a third party may be the only way for her to see the hurt she caused
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:31 AM   #5
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I get why you are upset. This ring was a symbol of her marriage to someone else.

That said, she also told you she designed the ring. Talk to her a bit more. If she's really just happy with the piece of jewelry because it was something she created, try looking at it as art. If she continues to view the ring as a link to her EX, that is a problem.

I love my husband but my weight has been all over the place the last few years. Depend on my size I vary from wearing my mom's wedding band & engagement ring; my set; my mother's 40th anniversary diamond & ruby ring & my father's gold wedding band. My husband understands that sometimes I am just too fat or bloated to get my rings on my finger.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:37 AM   #6
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Ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed?
Either reversed or how would she have felt if the engagement ring was bought for a previous GF, I'd bet she wouldn't have worn it..

I guess it's all about perspective and in the end the person whose feelings are getting hurt should be the bigger priority.

It shouldn't hurt his wife feelings if she never wore a ring again that her previous husband gave her..
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:38 AM   #7
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Are you going to take that? She is utterly disrespecting you and your marriage. What are you going to do about it?
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Old 10th March 2019, 12:18 PM   #8
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I would be hurt. It doesn't matter if she designed it, she designed it in view of her marriage to another man. She doesn't need to wear it. If her own design is that important then why doesn't she design another for YOUR marriage?

Even if it doesn't have any meaning for her beyond pride in design, she should understand how it affects you when you've clearly expressed your feelings. Her desire to wear it shouldn't trump your emotion about such a meaningful symbol.

It sounds like your marriage has more important problems than the ring issue though.
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Old 10th March 2019, 1:35 PM   #9
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She doesn't care. For whatever reason, she wants to wear his ring and not yours. When you bring up this valid concern to her respectfully, she lashes out because she has no logical, respectful way to respond. When she starts lashing out at you, then you will likely try to calm things down with her, despite the fact that she is actually the one that wronged you. She is being selfish, manipulative, and shows zero desire to communicate with you in constructive ways.
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Old 10th March 2019, 1:46 PM   #10
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So she is talking to ex husband and you are worried about the ring?
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:00 PM   #11
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no,as far as i know she stopped talking to him. It was about the blatant disrespect or disregard for me, she knew what it did to me when I found out she was talking to him. Whether it was sexual in nature or not I never asked, it was the lack of trust and the disrespect towards me that is the issue. If I wore something from an ex and she told me she was uncomfortable with it, it would never be on my body again! I know it may sound Petty but I would almost guarantee put in the same situation you would feel the same way..
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:05 PM   #12
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Phone calls with her ex for HOURS? Geez. I wouldn't have stayed to find out what she did with the ring...


But yes, even just the ring itself is really inconsiderate IMO. Paired with the emotional affair it's pretty unforgivable.
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:18 PM   #13
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Yes i have tried on 4 occasions to get her to go to counseling with me, told her i was feeling unappreciated in our marriage,, she never says thank you for anything or actually she appreciate anything I do and I do everything.
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:39 PM   #14
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You've apparently settled with this. Why?

Obviously you don't value yourself enough.
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:54 PM   #15
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I hate to get pragmatic, but is this a gold ring or a diamond ring?

I can only understand a little if this is some pretty diamond ring. In which case, if that's it, then I would ask her to go with you to a jeweler and trade that ring in for a NEW one she designs herself, and up to you if you want to use the diamond out of it or do a trade. It won't not cost you anything, though. Selling back gold is one thing, but diamonds are not really sold for much compared to what you have to pay retail for them.

If she had not been in touch with her ex, I wouldn't be as worried about it, but it would still need to be reset and put on her right hand. It's horribly insensitive that she pretends not to understand why this is bothering you.

If she was any kind of REAL man, what she'd do is take that ring and have it reset and give it to YOU.
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