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The OM not being in our lives is drawing near....


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So long story short. We went ahead and went vigilante in ensuring the other man can't come in the future and cause drama. So at a risky move, I had filed for child support, and if he were to file for any kind of visitation, I was going to then file for sole custody which I had more than enough evidence, that I would get it. The purpose was to have the other man who is already in a tight financial position, to simply agree to sign away any rights he has, my husband adopts our daughter, and we never have to deal with him again. My daughter can contact when and if she wants.

 

Which is essentially what he wanted. Since I had him blocked, on Friday he messaged my husband for whatever reason hadn't had him blocked, telling him he wished to speak to me further about this. He wasn't nasty surprisingly and told him, that he had thought that he, my husband wanted the little girl. But that he was pissed that his wife was dragging everyone else into their divorce, and yadda yadda yadda. I don't want to talk to him. I rather just have the lawyer deal with him. But my husband wants to know what to expect and thinks he may turn from nice to a dick just to make our lives a living hell.

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You don't have to talk to him. You would be smart not to. I would not put your husband in the position either. I would tell your husband to respond to him that you will be hiring an attorney and as soon as you have one retained he will reach out to him.

 

Let your lawyer deal with this.

 

Your husband might think this is the best way to deal with this but honestly its not. This is why we pay for people that know the law and don't have a emotional attachment to our problems.

 

Hopefully for you and your husbands sake he will sign off. If he doesn't I would go after him for child support and live with the fact he will probably be in your life for the next 18 years. Not much you can do aside of that.

 

Good luck.

 

C

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Your husband should absolutely not be contacting this man. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does though because he is prone to emotional reactions and he has been very much trying to take control/take back his pride and position as head of your family.

 

Ignore him. Tell your lawyer. He can communicate with your lawyer.

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Thanks, that is my line of thinking too. I told my husband, to just ignore him and let our laywer deal with him. He hasn't submitted to any court order DNA testing yet, just received petition for child support. My husband pride is bruised, but I just have to tell him, that it'll be over soon.

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Was filing for CS from the OM your idea or done from the advice

given you by your lawyer?

 

Normal for the BH to be the legal father when the OM got his WW

pregnant.

 

Who's name as the dad on the birth certificate?

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Was filing for CS from the OM your idea or done from the advice

given you by your lawyer?

 

Normal for the BH to be the legal father when the OM got his WW

pregnant.

 

Who's name as the dad on the birth certificate?

 

My husband is on the birth certificate, but where we are from, if the OM were to petition the court for a DNA test, they very likely would entertain it. It was after talking to the lawyer and learning our options, that this was the best choice.

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My husband is on the birth certificate, but where we are from, if the OM were to petition the court for a DNA test, they very likely would entertain it. It was after talking to the lawyer and learning our options, that this was the best choice.

 

How is that? Does the other man have any proof of the relationship with you other than his own word?

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How is that? Does the other man have any proof of the relationship with you other than his own word?

 

There are a few things that prove we had an inapporiate relationship. The big one is us both getting fired because of our inappropriate relationship, text messages between him and I before I blocked him, and a few other.

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Cullenbohannon

In war, if your opponent is ready to surrender, it would be foolish to not take the opportunity to end the battle in your favor.

 

You took the risk. He waved the white flag. Do not give him time to talk to anyone else. Finish him off right now. If your lawyer can draft LEGALLY BINDING documents for a waiver of paternity, then there is no harm in your husband (not you) attempting to get that signature. Your husband may need to listen to him bitch whine and moan, but he needs to play the part and get it done.

 

Having the meeting for any other reason is pointless. Talk to your lawyer. If necessary, he/she could be nearby with the documentation.

 

This is not about pride or reclaiming the head of the household. Your husband has always been the head of the house and you are damn lucky to still have this guy in your life. Your life could have been a real mess. Amazingly, you still have the opportunity to stabilize your sinking ship and chart a direction in life favorable to you, your children and the family man.

 

Do not let this opportunity pass you by. Be smart now.

 

Blessings for your family.

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There are a few things that prove we had an inapporiate relationship. The big one is us both getting fired because of our inappropriate relationship, text messages between him and I before I blocked him, and a few other.

 

Based on this, yes he could get a court ordered paternity test. Do what cullen says and nip this in the bud now.

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