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Is he making an advance?


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Old 28th January 2019, 12:38 PM   #1
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Is he making an advance?

My husband and I own a farm and we rent out some property (cottages) for a little extra income. Recently I received a letter from a guy who stayed on our farm a few years ago. A youngish guy in his 20s. He asked how I was and how things were on our farm, and he also sent a recent pic of himself. We were hardly good friends or anything like that, but we would acknowledge each other with a "hello" if we passed each other on the farm or in the town. Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me? I don't usually receive letters from past tenants! He also started the letter with my first name, and signed it off with his first name. Isn't using first names a little bit "familiar? " I'm not sure if I should mention it to my husband.
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:39 PM   #2
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It sounds like he's making an advance. I'd keep your answer's short and to the point and he'll go away
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:43 PM   #3
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How old are you? It sounds like he's making an advance or he would have written the letter to you and your husband.
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:45 PM   #4
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"Dear ( his name)

Thank you for your recent letter. Things are going well here on XYZ farm! We have had great success with (insert random happy note here)

If you ever need to rent a cottage again, please do call either myself or my husband to book your reservation!

Hope all is well.

Mr & Mrs Sarahj8"
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:45 PM   #5
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How old are you? It sounds like he's making an advance or he would have written the letter to you and your husband.
I'm in my mid 40s, within range of male attention presumably lol.
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:47 PM   #6
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I'd tell your husband you got this strange letter from the past tenant. Show the letter to husband. Have a laugh, then throw it out. If you don't respond hopefully the tenant will go away.
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:52 PM   #7
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He probably has had a crush on you. A few years ago, I received an email from a guy whom I met in my college internship. I actually knew he had a big crush on me even back then. I replied to him briefly and politely after a few days. He was trying to have a convo with me by asking questions about my work, but I stopped after my second reply. Actually there was another guy who would send me emails every few months. I answered with increasing delay and brevity. He was more persistent though, as he kept sending me more emails, even though I had stopped replying to his last few.
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:54 PM   #8
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A letter? In the mail? With an actual paper photo? What is this, 1980?

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Old 28th January 2019, 1:03 PM   #9
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He probably has had a crush on you. A few years ago, I received an email from a guy whom I met in my college internship. I actually knew he had a big crush on me even back then. I replied to him briefly and politely after a few days. He was trying to have a convo with me by asking questions about my work, but I stopped after my second reply. Actually there was another guy who would send me emails every few months. I answered with increasing delay and brevity. He was more persistent though, as he kept sending me more emails, even though I had stopped replying to his last few.
Well I must admit I found him quite attractive when he stayed. Perhaps he could read this and thought I would be receptive? But I would never want to jeapardize my marriage! But not replying might seem rude. I feel in such a dilemna.
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Old 28th January 2019, 1:07 PM   #10
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I'm in my mid 40s, within range of male attention presumably lol.
Yeah, he was hitting on you. It's a lot of that going on now.
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Old 28th January 2019, 1:08 PM   #11
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A letter? In the mail? With an actual paper photo? What is this, 1980?

I know. Almost charming.
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Old 28th January 2019, 1:28 PM   #12
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Well I must admit I found him quite attractive when he stayed. Perhaps he could read this and thought I would be receptive? But I would never want to jeapardize my marriage! But not replying might seem rude. I feel in such a dilemna.
There is no obligation to say thank you for a thank you note. I would just ignore it. If he decides to come back to stay at another time you can mention it then.
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Old 28th January 2019, 1:38 PM   #13
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But not replying might seem rude. I feel in such a dilemna.
It may be rude to not reply but it's also highly inappropriate to proposition a married person. On balance your slight is far less egregious then his. Don't worry about seeming rude. Worry about your loyalty to your husband. replying to this advance is a worse evil.
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Old 28th January 2019, 1:43 PM   #14
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It may be rude to not reply but it's also highly inappropriate to proposition a married person. On balance your slight is far less egregious then his. Don't worry about seeming rude. Worry about your loyalty to your husband. replying to this advance is a worse evil.
I sometimes wonder if he's just being friendly- but can a guy really be friends with a married woman 20 years his senior? Plus the fact that he gave me a recent pic (to impress me?) as well as the first name terms.....I don't know.
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Old 28th January 2019, 1:46 PM   #15
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He may just be being friendly but if that was true he would have written the letter to you AND your husband. He only wrote to you so I'd err on the side of caution & stay away from him
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