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Attempt to Communicate


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Old 10th January 2019, 1:34 PM   #1
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Attempt to Communicate

Hello,
Below is a letter that I would like to share after searching the web for thoughts ideas. I then reconstructed with the below as my end result. If you like it... Take and share for yourself. Let me know your thoughts:

Dear [Your lover's Name]
Whenever I bring up the subject of sex, then it is about me wanting sex. "Sadly" enough, yes, this is part of it, but believe it or not, it is also about me connecting with you. It is during times of physical intimacy that I feel that you are the most special person in the entire world. To me it is more than pleasure and desire. It is that moment when I have the opportunity to show how important you are to me. I do this by taking time to physically share my intimate love, thoughts, feelings and desires for you. I see my intimacy as an expression of my love and commitment to you as the one person who means so much to me. In all, there is no comparison to the feelings of happiness and joy that you bring to me. Yes, ďNobody does it better!Ē Only you only can make me feel the way that I do. You are my love. A love that is incredibly special. Your body, mind and heart are beautiful to me.

Regardless whatever stress, obstacles and challenges we face together, you are my dearest love and incredibility sexy wife. Every single day, from the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep, I think of how I want to kiss, touch, hold and make love to you. Even in my sleep, I dream of how we make love to each other. There are times that I want our sex to be slow and soft with candles and slow dancing music. And, there are times that I want us to ravage each other with unrestrained passion each and every day.

So if I am guilty of one thing, it is that I am guilty of my endless love, desire and sex for you!

I love you!
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Old 10th January 2019, 2:01 PM   #2
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ď. It is that moment when I have the opportunity to show how important you are to me. I do this by taking time to physically share my intimate love, thoughts, feelings and desires for you. I see my intimacy as an expression of my love and commitment...Ē


You sound like my husband. Heís always claiming he needs sex to feel closer and show his love.

My brain processes this a different way though. Like youíre a man and you will pretty much screw anything if you could and are capable of having meaningless sex with partners so why should I feel that THIS sex, OUR sex means all those things to you?

For me, him helping around the house, taking care of things,, respecting my feelings, even just laying down and cuddling is way more intimate for me and I get more satisfaction than having sex

This is just my thoughts.

Sex just isnít my love language. Care and thoughtfulness are.
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Old 10th January 2019, 2:15 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willowforever View Post
Sex just isnít my love language. Care and thoughtfulness are.
But maybe it's his.

It seems to be a common refrain from women that "if he'd only help out more with the house/kids/other domesticities, I'd be more inclined to have sex."

Well, perhaps it's actually the other way around. Perhaps if you were more inclined to have sex, he'd be more willing to help out more with the house/kids/other domesticities.

The other part of this is the danger of using the most fundamental, intimate part of a romantic relationship as a quid pro quo; a form of currency, using intimacy as part of a transaction.

Personally, I see nothing but resentment coming from using sex - or lack of it - as a weapon to get something in return.
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Old 10th January 2019, 2:25 PM   #4
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I see what youíre saying but Iím not using it as leverage to get what I want in my case.
Just saying that for me, having sex doesnít make me feel loved.
It doesnít make me feel special.

Why should it? Itís an act that you can do onto anyone even someone you donít really care for.

Does that make sense?
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Old 10th January 2019, 3:27 PM   #5
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Try making it more about the love & less about sex. Discuss sex sure but write the letter solely about love not what you want.
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Old 10th January 2019, 8:04 PM   #6
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argo0065, I think there's too much of what you want to get and not enough about what you hope to offer. In other words, what's in it for her?

And if you're writing this in response to some reluctance on her part, telling her you're fixated on sex every minute of the day is only going to be seen as more pressure.

Back to the drawing board...

Mr. Lucky
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Old 10th January 2019, 11:59 PM   #7
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It seems repetitive and kinda like you are begging for sex. I am guessing there is another thread discussing your problem but I can't imagine this would cause any woman to be enthusiastic about you or make them find you sexy. If she already knows you want sex, telling her in a fancy way isn't going to make her more interested.
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