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How would you show you care [for your spouse/partner]?


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Simply put...

 

 

If you had to come up with two ways to show your own spouse you love them, and one had to be frugal and the other "the sky's the limit", what would you do?

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I’m maybe misunderstanding. But I don’t think you need to spend a lot of money to prove the skys the limit. Just showcase you’re creativity within your means. But this question seems to vague to give a direct answer. Like why are you doing this - some context can help to give a better answer.

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Simply put...

 

 

If you had to come up with two ways to show your own spouse you love them, and one had to be frugal and the other "the sky's the limit", what would you do?

 

for frugal it would be a dozen red roses and for sky's the limit it would be a 14-day all inclusive trip to Europe's greatest cities

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I could do the small gift easily - surprise him with a 6 pack of his favourite craft beer. But I'm drawing a blank on the big gift as using gifts to show I care doesn't come naturally. I'd be more likely to work on changing parts of my personality which bug him.

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I’d be more inclined to do rather than buy, like lots of affection or sex (depending on the mood) or make him a meal. If I was going to spend money with no limit, maybe a resort with in-room couples massage, champagne, yummy food.

 

Hard to say, tho, since I don’t know what he’d like.

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Even though she's retired and does of great job of keeping the household going, my wife is pretty vocal about her dislike of cleaning. I do some, but I'd surprise her while she was out one day and do everything on our weekly checklist. She'd think it was better than sex!

 

Cost no object, she's always wanted to explore her family roots in Austria. So I'd do some research, get a local guide and go from there.

 

Mr. Lucky

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Kitty Tantrum

Hard to come up with frugal gestures that I don't already do. I'm cheap! One of my favorites is making his espresso for him at home. He lights up every time I hand him a cup. The machine takes some finesse and maintenance, but the quality is on par with the nicer coffee shops and it's waaaaay cheaper than the swill he used to get at Starbucks. For something new... probably a really nice full body massage. That's been on my to do list for a while.

 

Sky's the limit... I'd buy him a Ferrari. I don't want or intend to ever have enough money for such things, but if the Frivolous Wish Fairy gave me a shot at it, that's what it would be. Goes a bit against my somewhat humble and anti-consumer tendencies, but he would love it.

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The Dude Abides

Little stuff, I do much of the time already. One of my happiest efforts , which are so well received, is to continue to find new recipes to prepare for a nice dinner most nights of the week.

 

But if I had access to a large sum of cash right now? I would buy land near the coast and build our dream cottage so we can get away (now, and later after she retires from work) to live near the beach.

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I just posted the below. Now as a reply to your post:

Dear [Your lover's Name]

Whenever I bring up the subject of sex, then it is about me wanting sex. "Sadly" enough, yes, this is part of it, but believe it or not, it is also about me connecting with you. It is during times of physical intimacy that I feel that you are the most special person in the entire world. To me it is more than pleasure and desire. It is that moment when I have the opportunity to show how important you are to me. I do this by taking time to physically share my intimate love, thoughts, feelings and desires for you. I see my intimacy as an expression of my love and commitment to you as the one person who means so much to me. In all, there is no comparison to the feelings of happiness and joy that you bring to me. Yes, “Nobody does it better!” Only you only can make me feel the way that I do. You are my love. A love that is incredibly special. Your body, mind and heart are beautiful to me.

 

Regardless whatever stress, obstacles and challenges we face together, you are my dearest love and incredibility sexy wife. Every single day, from the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep, I think of how I want to kiss, touch, hold and make love to you. Even in my sleep, I dream of how we make love to each other. There are times that I want our sex to be slow and soft with candles and slow dancing music. And, there are times that I want us to ravage each other with unrestrained passion each and every day.

 

So if I am guilty of one thing, it is that I am guilty of my endless love, desire and sex for you!

 

I love you!

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Little things: I often buy milady romantic cards and sign them with some type of silly, soppy poem (I'm no poet, so they usually come across as rather silly). It's a small thing, cards are only worth a few bucks, but she really likes getting them.

 

Big things: Well, I took her to Paris for her birthday a couple of years ago. Later that same year I took her on a cruise. If money were no object, I'd see if we could book a flight on either Branson's or Bezos' suborbital flights once they get going. Not sure if she'd be willing to go though. But if she did, I'd be all in too!

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I'd really listen to them for a couple of months and take notes. Even though I hate sports, if they really wanted to go to a live game, I'd buy them tickets.

 

For frugal, I'd praise them whenever they were doing something good and tell them why it is so great and just really appreciate them.

 

Once I bought a guy a vintage guitar that needed work that he couldn't rationalize buying but really fell in love with. I used to bolster not just a bf but friends who played music and encouraged them if it seemed prudent. Because they were often being pressured into something more conventional at home. I wouldn't do it if the person was a slouch not talented and not willing to work and go for it, but if it was their dream and they were working at it, writing, arranging, I'd fully encourage that. I made a LOT of lifelong friends just that way, believing in their dream. A few of them said they'd never have done it but that I inspired them and was the person who made them think it was possible. It's what I lived for back then.

 

I am not married, and don't think I'd be any good at it, but I am supportive of a person's dreams and try to listen to them and if they have a strength, I try to encourage their strength and mention it specifically and why it's good and worth expanding on. But let's say a person has a sincere dream but it truly is impossible, and they're stuck in a boring existence, I think it's still nice to acknowledge their higher purpose and maybe throw in how well they've adapted to real life.

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For me it's about the daily caretaking: making healthy meals, stocking the fridge with things they like, sharing chores (especially the unpleasant ones), listening, laughing & being supportive.

 

I am always cold. For Christmas my husband bought a heated mattress pad for our bed. It keeps me so toasty at night. I'm thrilled. It's probably one of the most boring gifts anybody ever gave me but I love it.

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I am glad I read this post it feels warm reading about what others would do to show their love.

 

For me, the cheap thing would be taking a or two day off from work to do all the household chores and make her a dinner, or spend the day with her on a short trip. The no limit thing would be to travel around the world.

 

Honestly though I have done nearly all the cheap things I can think of just don't know if she actually care for anything I did.

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