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Why Are You Hard To Live With?


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It's interesting to see the one-sided nature of many of the posts here. "My husband is a jerk", "my wife is a shrew", "it's all their fault", lather, rinse, repeat.

 

So since it's obviously difficult for people to be realistic about their own faults, thought I'd ask fellow posters for an honest assessment of their own shortcomings in their current relationship.

 

Here's my own quick list -

 

- I hold on to things too long. My wife is much quicker to forget and forgive, I tend to hold a grudge.

 

- I'm too defensive. It's hard for me to take criticism, even when it's merited. I stop listening and tend to shut down.

 

- I bring my workplace persona home with me. Having been successful in business, I tend to want to manage family affairs also. This deprives others of being able to find their own solutions through problem solving.

 

Don't get me wrong, I do have one or two redeeming qualities :) . And I'm also making an effort to be aware of and address the issues above.

 

So...Why Are You Hard To Live With?

 

Mr. Lucky

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Here’s my three:

 

I am very impatient.

I am offended easily.

I tend to get grumpy doing housework.

 

Not sure what redeeming qualities I have. It’s a wonder I’m still married.

:laugh:

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Mr. Lucky those you noted all apply to me, but I will add

on top of that

 

I'm a nag.

 

I take offense to everything.

 

I expect husband to act like a character from a movie like a proper English gentleman from the 1800s...

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The Dude Abides

 

Not sure what redeeming qualities I have. It’s a wonder I’m still married.

:laugh:

 

 

LOL, I frequently opine to Mrs. Dude Abides that she should some day come to her senses and admit her mistake. I ask when is my shelf life gonna run out so she can trade me in for another model. She says my faults are easily overlooked because I am otherwise a great dad and husband. I still think she’s being generous with me, but nonetheless I do try to improve.

 

Good Topic Mr. Lucky. I could list my faults but I would blow up the forum :lmao:

 

In the spirit of trying, I will admit to :

 

1. Being moody at times.

2. Letting certain things irritate me when I should probably just be like The Dude and abide.

3. Being hardheaded.

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todreaminblue

i zone out during conflict...this however has saved my life a few times...because whoever is steering this ship that is me seems to handle all the conflict....

i am too emotional

i go through periods of depression

i am messy

i am over protective

i am a disassociative personality

i cry when i watch the news

i can be stubborn

i hate laundry and buy clothes that i dont have to iron....linen is my worst nightmare.

when i cook i make a huge mess

i adopt strays

i find it hard to give up....on anything....even when i should.....

i often put myself at risk

i tend to think im right all the time

i dont think im easy to live with...because...i am not.....but..

my grandpa told me life was not meant to be easy....

....deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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i tend to think im right all the time

 

Guess I'm better than you, I only think I'm right most of the time :p .

 

Good stuff...

 

Mr. Lucky

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todreaminblue
Guess I'm better than you, I only think I'm right most of the time :p .

 

Good stuff...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

:) .....deb

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major_merrick

Oh, I am DEFINITELY difficult to live with! And some of the people I live with share some of these traits...it is a wonder we don't have more arguments.

 

I'm moody and temperamental, with a tendency toward physical and verbal aggression. I got in a lot of fights when I was younger, and it still doesn't take much to get me there. I'm territorial - which means I'm not great with neighbors....just ask the last person who parked at the end of my driveway! I'm picky about how I keep my things...I grew up poor, so I dislike dirt and carelessness. I'm NOT a morning person at all - there is no such thing as a "right side of the bed." My food cravings change quickly - I can order dinner and suddenly decide I don't want that anyway. Except pizza, which will make me fight for the last piece.

 

I've ended up in relationships with people who can calm these traits. My husband is particularly good at it - he's been dealing with me since we were kids. While it doesn't take much to make me difficult, it doesn't take much to please me either. Usually physical affection and food and I stop making angry sounds. I've learned to tone down some of my traits a bit so that others can stand me (friends are nice...so is employment), but I will always be difficult :laugh:

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I'm neurotic.

I'm indecisive to the point where ordering in restaurants can stress me out.

I'm impatient.

And when I'm impatient, I nag.

I occasionally resume conversations from months ago, without warning or explanation.

I wake up absurdly early and so by 6 PM I'm practically ready for bed.

But I also have severe insomnia, so I can toss and turn all night.

I am so uptight I could probably serve as a tension coil.

I have low self-esteem.

I am not spontaneous, at all.

Suffering makes me emotional, so I can read or see something or just have an experience and start weeping.

And when I'm tired, all my bad qualities are worse!

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Ruby Slippers

I'm sensitive, moody, and I get very irritable about messes and clutter. This is merely the tip of the iceberg :p

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I tend to forget that other people don’t think just like me... I will sometimes have expectations of what I would do/what I would like and I can become easily disappointed with my family/boyfriend don’t meet my expectations.

 

I don’t like conflict. I would much rather withdraw then share my feelings or deal with conflict.

 

According to my boyfriend, I snore too loud and keep him awake. He snores too, but for some reason that is not as much of a problem as my snoring... ;)

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Kitty Tantrum

- I'm a pedant.

- I struggle with interpersonal/intimate communication.

- I have a highly inappropriate and often offensive sense of humor.

- I'm judgmental.

- I sometimes like to run my mouth even when I know I'm wrong.

- I hate artificially scented everything. Deodorant, laundry detergent, air freshener, EVERYTHING.

- I hate most movies, music, and TV shows.

- I often go to extremes to avoid using the telephone.

- I often go to extremes to avoid people.

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This thread is fun to read! :)

 

As for me, I am indecisive and tend to rely on others for guidance which is totally annoying. I am a grown ass 32 year old.

 

I stress about everything. I panic even before I need to and prophesise that things will turn out horribly. So I guess I am also negative.

 

I am an oral hygiene freak and I won’t kiss my husband in the evening after I brush my teeth (and floss and waterpik)

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- I have a highly inappropriate and often offensive sense of humor.

 

Guilty as charged. My oldest son has an equally subversive sense of humor, but my DIL simply doesn't use or understand sarcasm. I wonder sometimes how they get through a day together...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I'm indecisive to the point where ordering in restaurants can stress me out.

 

I'm impatient.

 

You should never go out to dinner...with you...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I offend very easily

I stress out easily

I'm grumpy

 

On the other hand:

 

I'm a very tidy person, so our house is always clean

I'm easy to talk too (my husband says I'm funny, interesting, and fun)

I'm a good cook and go all out on planning

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-I'm messy

-I'm not good at organizing

-I have very little patience for "grey areas"

-I have no sense of smell paired with bad hearing/poor vision

-I don't "get" people very well- I remain constantly and consistently confused

-I'm hard to get gifts for

 

-I'm very practical and not prone to daydreaming

-I have two noisy pet birds

-I get profoundly and fundamentally sad sometimes

 

-I get tired really easily

-I'm painfully shy to a point that I am so glad I can work online so I can avoid having to talk to people I don't know

- I have a taste for vacations to places that tend to be somewhat pricey (e.g.- this past summer, we spent two weeks in a boutique resort on San Pedro in Belize. We rented one of the beach houses on John McAffee's former property)

-I'm not overly fond of cooking

-I HATE ironing and refuse to do it

-I have very little patience for people who go through life hurting others.

 

-I'm not good at saying "no"

 

 

This is just a brief sampling

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I sing a lot whether I know the words or not. I also make up songs and sing them to my dogs. Now my daughter sings my made up songs to them. Must be the Irish in me.

 

I’m either very messy or immaculate in my housekeeping. It’s gotten to the point where my dogs start stressing if I’m on a cleaning tear because they expect a crowd and know they’re going to be confined even if I’m just in a cleaning mood.

 

I’m a good cook but if I make something I make a lot (the Italian in me) so you better like eating it for days because I’m not cooking anything new until it’s all gone unless if I’m expecting company. Then I’ll make an exception but the good news is you now have two choices for the week.

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I sing a lot whether I know the words or not. I also make up songs and sing them to my dogs. Now my daughter sings my made up songs to them. Must be the Irish in me.

 

I’m either very messy or immaculate in my housekeeping. It’s gotten to the point where my dogs start stressing if I’m on a cleaning tear because they expect a crowd and know they’re going to be confined even if I’m just in a cleaning mood.

 

I’m a good cook but if I make something I make a lot (the Italian in me) so you better like eating it for days because I’m not cooking anything new until it’s all gone unless if I’m expecting company. Then I’ll make an exception but the good news is you now have two choices for the week.

 

 

I can relate to the singing part. I do that too, not to mention talk t myself while I'm working. Reading out loud helps me with editing materials. Even when I'm home alone, the house can be really noisy..:laugh:

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I sing a lot whether I know the words or not.

 

I'm always amazed by people that can remember song lyrics, my wife is a savant in this regard. Some 30-year old song will play on the radio and she'll sing along like she wrote the words.

 

I sing so poorly she claims I'm making up my own tunes and melodies also...

 

Mr. Lucky

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georgia girl

Great thread! My top three (according to me) are:

 

1) I can be self-absorbed and self-righteous. Sometimes I fail to see the other side until my self-righteousness has offended.

 

2) I leave my shoes everywhere as a not-so-subtle tripping hazard.

 

3) Sometimes, I am just oblivious, but I call my husband oblivious. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, too. ?

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Good thread! ;)

 

 

- I'm OCD. It's a damn good thing that H is very laid back with a lot of stuff, otherwise we'd clash for sure

- I hog the shower and toilet way too much

- I also apparently hog the bed...

- Oh, and I hog the air conditioning in the car. I need to stop hogging stuff!

- I want to decide where we eat all the time

- I need everything to be juuuuust right in the bedroom in order to sleep. And even then I sometimes don't manage

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I like this thread because it provides both a good insight as to the other people on the board and lets us know that we're not all as individual as we may think. Common ground, as it were.

 

For me, top three things that make me sometimes difficult:

 

  • I'm a "get it done" type of guy. When I set my mind to something, I get itchy and just have to get it done. That mind-set worked great for me in business, but in personal relationships when the other party (not necessarily romantic relationship) is more of an analysis-type person, that can cause friction. Paint the room blue or beige? Blue or beige? Blue or beige? Oh, fercryinoutloud, just pick a colour and get it done!

 

  • I don't abide indecision well. Perhaps this relates to the above, but in my mind, if one makes a commitment, one had better follow through. I have zero patience for flaky behaviour. No second chances.

 

  • I can come across as aloof. I've been told this by more than one person.

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Guilty as charged. My oldest son has an equally subversive sense of humor, but my DIL simply doesn't use or understand sarcasm. I wonder sometimes how they get through a day together...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Yeah I definitely do not see this as a problem @Mr. Lucky @Kitty Tantrum. This is a very positive attribute. I wish I knew more people like you.

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