PleasantVoice Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Everyday I find Myself wishing I never Met the guy I am With. He makes me hate that I am Alive. He knowingly gave me HSV and denies it even when I found The pill bottle dated for months ago. He’s a narcissist and I feel Trapped. I’ve left him many times and keep coming back. I hate that I’m weak and feel like I cant Move on. Having hsv is embarrassing and I cant Imagine having a healthy relationship with someone with it. I dont Trust him at all So often I write Hate notes in my phone about him. I hate myself for being weak and being with such a manipulative person. He does everything right for a while then goes back to the same devil. I guess My question is how do I move On permanently? & is it possible for such a toxic relationship to work itself into a healthy one when I regret Meeting him but love him at the same time. I believe He’s the worse person I ever Met and if I had To choose between my cousin dying or having met him as the worse thing to happen to me.. it would be him. I hate we met. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRainbow Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 I was in a toxic marriage, from my own doing and we are working on it, but the only difference is I don't hate my husband, I don't regret meeting him and I don't compare meeting him as the worst mistake of my life. Just reading your post comes across of so much resentment and hatred. If you two don't have kids and aren't married, then I'd run far away. Go no contact. When I left an ex-boyfriend who was truly toxic for my husband, it was truly the best thing. Only I brought all my drama and toxic with me. Heal and you'll find someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 HSV 1 or 2? Sounds like 2 which is a horrible thing to knowingly give to someone. That by itself is grounds for immediate termination. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You get some therapy. You find out why you are so weak that you keep putting up with this. When you are ready to jettison him, you will. Deep down you have a strength that you don't realize. Right now you just have to find it. Try thinking about him with your head & logic rather than with your heart or parts lower. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Does Toxic ever turn Healthy ?? PleasantVoice, which of these two potential solutions is under your control? 1). He has an epiphany and suddenly turns into a nice, caring and considerate person. 2). You realize you deserve better than this and end this unhappy and unhealthy (literally!) relationship as a step towards a more fulfilling life. Hmmmmmmmmm... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You're not "weak"--way too simple and unfair. Most likely, you have unprocessed "stuff" (perhaps even trauma) from earlier in your life. And that's why you return to this guy ... Therapy. That's the fastest way to process things and strengthen your weak areas ... Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 A toxic relationship can only become healthy if a couple is committed to change. The couple also has to be committed to forgiveness as well. There needs to be something to salvage for a relationship to change. It doesn't sound like your relationship has these elements. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Everyday I find Myself wishing I never Met the guy I am With. He makes me hate that I am Alive. He knowingly gave me HSV and denies it even when I found The pill bottle dated for months ago. He’s a narcissist and I feel Trapped. I’ve left him many times and keep coming back. I hate that I’m weak and feel like I cant Move on. Having hsv is embarrassing and I cant Imagine having a healthy relationship with someone with it. I dont Trust him at all So often I write Hate notes in my phone about him. I hate myself for being weak and being with such a manipulative person. He does everything right for a while then goes back to the same devil. I guess My question is how do I move On permanently? & is it possible for such a toxic relationship to work itself into a healthy one when I regret Meeting him but love him at the same time. I believe He’s the worse person I ever Met and if I had To choose between my cousin dying or having met him as the worse thing to happen to me.. it would be him. I hate we met. A guy once commented on Twitter, he said something along these lines : "I am good guy who pretends to be a bad guy to get girls, I do it to save them from the truly bad guys who would really hurt them." When I highlight these observations people get upset : Women love bad boys, without pretense they genuinely desire them, it is the 'nice guys' that women have to pretend to love, desire and be loyal to. She probably can't have enough sex with this narcissist she supposedly hates but her future husband will be begging and complaining about the once a month sex-life they have. 'They' will cheat on the 'nice/good guy' but will never leave or cheat on the 'narcissist' : remember guys, I am not judging women, I am simply observing repeated patterns of behavior many other people including women have observed and written about. She will ultimately leave this narcissist, then later she will marry the 'nice guy', who is (desirable) but not arousing as this narcissist who gave her a disease : but soon after that the 'nice guy' will be writing here, asking for help for problems he is now experiencing from her, because of her past experiences with the bad-boy. I see the bigger picture, the trend; her's is not the first story of this kind and won't be the last. My real question is : what does this suggest about female nature and behavior. She probably has a 'nice guy' who she has been complaining about all these bad things this 'narcissist' did to her, and this 'nice guy' has been telling her she deserves better and telling her he will treat her like a princess she is, but she goes back to the abuser. What does this reveal about the female nature, what is it about her biology or psychology, or evolution as a woman that keeps her going back to the abuser. What is it about this guy that makes him addictive to her, what is it about the other 'nice guys' who are dying to date her that makes them unattractive and even invisible to her .. There is a bigger picture of inter-sexual dynamics - there is a code in every woman that she can not override - a code that makes me bold enough to say that I can seduce any woman , the same way Beyonce can say she could seduce any man if she really wanted to.. Link to post Share on other sites
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