about my friend as I am worried

[ladyscopio82]

Hi all,

 

I am worried about my friend because on the weekend her husband got very verbally abusive and he hit her in the arm. Her son had to step him to stop his dad from going further with his mother.

 

I have advised her many times that he will never change. That is not a good for her and her kids to be living like this. She was like she has had enough and she is calling the police etc.

 

While I didn't mind her messaging me early hours I could not sleep and was very worried for her safety. I nearly called the police and sent them round there but I know she is scared of him and he had been also drinking. He attacks her because he has health issues and he works and she does not. So he starts on her how she not helping and he said I wish I get cancer to give up work.

 

So I got to the point I did email the police but she does not know about that but never heard that. But then only option I had was to message her sister on facebook and tell her how worried I was about her and told her this got to stop. He continues to do this to her all the time.

 

What is even more annoying is she just brushes it under the carpet and does nothing. Many years this happened and she has said oh my son starting can't do it now and tell him it's over. I can't do it my daughter starting school oh my dad is ill. To the point I said when she said her father was in hospital and I told her he is safe your dad but you are not safe.

 

Then today I have said don't want to hear about it as it's not right the way he treating her. She has brushed it under the carpet although she said she is talking to him tonight. And she told her father in law but to be honest she will let it be.

 

I know she and him are married and it's been a long time and it's very hard to think her marriage would be over. But it is affecting her son who is 12 he understands what his dad is doing is wrong. He had to step in like I said before and to me this is not right. I can't listen again to his because next time he might really hurt her.

 

Advice on what to do? And what I should say to her.

[d0nnivain]

You can't save somebody who doesn't want to be saved. Just keep telling her you are here for her & you are worried but you can't fix this until she is ready to walk away. Also tell her son that he has a safe place to escape to your house if need be.

[ladyscopio82]

I am really getting frustrated to be honest with all of this. I don't want her to end her marriage just to realize how putting up with this each time not good.

 

I just don't want to hear all of this time when she allows. I almost very nearly called the police and sent to her house. But that could of caused her more harm so never did.