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Husband- Stepson Issue Justified?


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 11th August 2018, 10:16 AM   #61
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...Iím not happy with my H making me a consolation prize.
AAANNNDDD there it is. this has nothing to do with the job, the son or d-i-l. i asked (#14) "it appears this is a continuation of some long simmering issues". there are.

it appears you are upset, frustrated or otherwise not happy with YOUR STANDING with your H. after most posts were leaning away from you (when H said 'give it time') you changed tack with H/we have paid for [numerous items] for his son.

no of us will be able to answer your 'real' question: but to expect a father to turn his back on his son, not sure that will end well. hopefully you can find a compromise that will be acceptable to both of you (H/W).
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Old 11th August 2018, 2:31 PM   #62
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I find it odd the ex-wife could just take the kids and move them away to Canada, far away from their dad, unless of course the dad himself preferred to see his kids just a few times per year.
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Old 11th August 2018, 4:54 PM   #63
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AAANNNDDD there it is. this has nothing to do with the job, the son or d-i-l. i asked (#14) "it appears this is a continuation of some long simmering issues". there are.

it appears you are upset, frustrated or otherwise not happy with YOUR STANDING with your H. after most posts were leaning away from you (when H said 'give it time') you changed tack with H/we have paid for [numerous items] for his son.

no of us will be able to answer your 'real' question: but to expect a father to turn his back on his son, not sure that will end well. hopefully you can find a compromise that will be acceptable to both of you (H/W).
I certainly donít want my H to turn his back on either of his children. I do think if my SS calls me a C among other things my H should say, youíre entitled to feel however you like but I do not want you to use that language about my W. Please use less abusive language.

And I want you to know that I am very good to both the children including going to see SD in hospital every 2 days when H goes about once every 2 weeks.

You are barking up the wrong tree.
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Old 11th August 2018, 4:58 PM   #64
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I find it odd the ex-wife could just take the kids and move them away to Canada, far away from their dad, unless of course the dad himself preferred to see his kids just a few times per year.
I wasnít there then so I only have anecdotal information but whilst my husband was on a business trip she took the children who are dual citizens back to her parents family farm. I do know my H did visit and had them each summer but I donít know more than that.
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Old 11th August 2018, 5:02 PM   #65
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AAANNNDDD there it is. this has nothing to do with the job, the son or d-i-l. i asked (#14) "it appears this is a continuation of some long simmering issues". there are.

it appears you are upset, frustrated or otherwise not happy with YOUR STANDING with your H. after most posts were leaning away from you (when H said 'give it time') you changed tack with H/we have paid for [numerous items] for his son.

no of us will be able to answer your 'real' question: but to expect a father to turn his back on his son, not sure that will end well. hopefully you can find a compromise that will be acceptable to both of you (H/W).
Would you be ok with a family member calling your wife a B, C, too young for you etc and not asking them to stop?
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Old 11th August 2018, 6:14 PM   #66
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Would you be ok with a family member calling your wife a B, C, too young for you etc and not asking them to stop?
Did he say these things to you?
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Old 11th August 2018, 7:50 PM   #67
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Did he say these things to you?
He said it to my H within my earshot.
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:51 PM   #68
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LWP. You know I always love your kind thoughtful posts, we have a similar worldview. Both H and I got to IC. Iíve been going for years to a secular weekly and a Christian minister twice monthly. H has just started secular IC 5 weeks ago. All therapy when just starting is rough.
So glad to get this update, PLB! I've had a busy day but signed in tonight to see if you'd posted. It's good news to read you're both in IC. And, yes, it can be tough but is so good your H is going! Hopefully with some time in IC he'll begin to see things differently.
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Old 11th August 2018, 9:59 PM   #69
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So glad to get this update, PLB! I've had a busy day but signed in tonight to see if you'd posted. It's good news to read you're both in IC. And, yes, it can be tough but is so good your H is going! Hopefully with some time in IC he'll begin to see things differently.
The therapist called it guilty father syndrome/ permissive parenting.

Please keep me in your prayers x
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Old 11th August 2018, 11:20 PM   #70
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LWP. You know I always love your kind thoughtful posts, we have a similar worldview. Both H and I got to IC. Iíve been going for years to a secular weekly and a Christian minister twice monthly. H has just started secular IC 5 weeks ago. All therapy when just starting is rough.
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The therapist called it guilty father syndrome/ permissive parenting.

Please keep me in your prayers x
Will do. Am sending you a pm.
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Old 12th August 2018, 12:00 AM   #71
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While reading your thread I got angry on your behalf. When my son was about 16 he got angry with his mother over something and told me that he just wanted to hit her. I looked him straight in the eye and told him, "She's mine. If you ever touch her in anger I will break both your arms." I love my son and would willingly die in his place. But my wife is part of me. I will not let anyone call her names or disrespect her. Did you husband actually say he was his son and you were MERLY his wife? You should have nailed him to the wall right then. I apologize in advance if this bothers you but I would say your stepson is an entitled jerk and your husband is a wimp. You can do sooo much better. I do wish you well.
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Old 13th August 2018, 10:37 AM   #72
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Hello all

H spoke to me this morning. He told me he loved me but that he wouldnít chastise his son as heís a grown man and can say what Elbe likes. Simply destroying!
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Old 13th August 2018, 2:38 PM   #73
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He chooses his entitled, rude and obnoxious son over you. Dear lady, you can do sooooo much better. I do wish you well.
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Old 13th August 2018, 9:14 PM   #74
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Hello all

H spoke to me this morning. He told me he loved me but that he wouldnít chastise his son as heís a grown man and can say what Elbe likes. Simply destroying!
Deep down, you know your husband isn't correcting his son because he thinks he has done nothing wrong. He isn't going to let you , a bed warmer, mess up his relationship with his kids. The only thing worse would be if he secretly agrees with his son and wishes you would just 'shut up and mind your place'... at least now you know that in this man's life, you are just a piece of furniture...
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Old 13th August 2018, 10:40 PM   #75
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Hello all

H spoke to me this morning. He told me he loved me but that he wouldnít chastise his son as heís a grown man and can say what Elbe likes. Simply destroying!
I'm so sorry to read this, PLB. Am praying he will change his mind about this situation.
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