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How to become indifferent?

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Old 9th June 2018, 10:31 PM   #1
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How to become indifferent?

I have been in a bad marriage,those problems are not here anymore,mosty his mother.But i feel the love is gone,at least from his side.I need a way to just let do you stop beeing hurt and angry? i just want to reach indifference ,i know its not healthy but just for now i am not ready in any way for a divorce
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Old 9th June 2018, 10:47 PM   #2
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Noting your reference to disinclination to divorce in this thread:

My opinion would be to network with other similarly situated spouses in your culture and find out how they deal with it. Group-think solutions. Another alternative, if available, would be a professional counselor who can recommend cognitive tools to reach an indifference about specifics of your M without losing the essence of your ability to love and for others to matter in the larger sense.

IMO, a supportive circle of friends could be of assistance, and for balance.
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Old 9th June 2018, 10:54 PM   #3
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Its hard to find any friends in mine situation,people around me seem to live in happy marriages,i guess the 2 option would be better for me but how do i tell husband i need a counselor because of this
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Old 10th June 2018, 9:36 AM   #4
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I suppose the first step to indifference is acceptance: this is my lot in life now what I am going to do to make the best of a bad situation.

Did you ever get a job? Is that helping you feel more fulfilled?

Do you have any hobbies? If not take one up.

Exercise. Do yoga & take a walk every day. Endorphins help stabilize & elevate your mood.

Journal. Have a place to put down the negative thoughts but also keep a gratitudes list. Every morning when you wake up list 3 things you are grateful for. They don't have to be profound but they can be. Do try for variety. Things that have appeared on my list include reading a good book, getting to talk to an old friend, my flannel sheets on a cold winter's night. Before you go to bed, write 3 more things. At least once per week read your lists so you can see concrete things that are good in your life.
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Old 1st August 2018, 12:51 PM   #5
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I still have no job,i had a child who i was looking after home .. and i started looking for a job just few months ago.I actually had an interview but did not get the job :/

anyway,i am better now i think once i find a job and get out more i will be much better,even my husband thinks i should do so.
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Old 9th August 2018, 7:15 AM   #6
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My partner and I uploaded a video on YouTube these days about "How to overcome past hurt & rebuild trust". Not sure if I'm allowed to post it here.

Second thought: If your man didn't love you, he would have left.

Man only want to make their women happy. That's their inner drive. And when we feel we cannot make our girl happy, then we feel like a loser and failure.

What could help you is not withdrawing - which both of you seem to do. But to open yourselves up for the love that is still within you.

Know your basic needs and how your partner can meet them. And vice versa.

When you feel unloved it means that he doesn't know your needs and how he can fulfil them. Maybe he is trying and giving you everything, but not the right thing.

Your basic needs include stability, certainty, variety, importance, growth, connection, and so on. Maybe you feel unloved by him and not important. Or maybe you want to feel connected to him and he just isn't giving you that.

Whatever it is, you need to find out. If you can't do it alone, get help with it.
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Old 10th August 2018, 12:57 PM   #7
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If you want to let go then look up The 180. It is a way for betrayed or neglected spouses to cut the emotional ties.
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